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Pamela thread 6 - Bile Duct Cancer, Continued

1000 replies

WilsonMilson · 23/07/2023 09:26

Hi all

It’s Kerr here, I wanted to post a quick update as I’m conscious Pamela hasn’t been on for a few days and the thread seems to have reached its limit.

Pamela hasn’t been feeling so good over the last few days - on a positive note, her bloods seem to have stabilised and, all being well, she might be ok for chemo round 2 in the next couple of days. She had a blood transfusion yesterday which, we hope, will also boost her energy levels. On the downside, her jaundice has returned, the bilirubin levels are increasing significantly. The CT scan at the beginning of the week showed no new blockages and our Consultant thought that some early necrosis of the tumour after the last chemo might be contributing, but nobody really knows what’s causing it. Further discussion to take place tomorrow. Seeing the jaundice is one of the worst parts of this, it’s so clear and obvious when it’s happening yet there’s nothing we can do to alleviate it.

Just wanted to let you know the latest. Please, please keep praying for her - she’s my everything, my world, and every thought and prayer is deeply appreciated.

Kerr

OP posts:
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Thatisthewayaha · 03/08/2023 18:36

I am so sorry for your loss. You and Pamela acted with so much dignity, and I really believe that she achieved her aims to create a digital record for her loved ones and show how much she wanted to recover and love. I hope that this provides you much comfort as the hours turn into days, months and years. May her memory be a blessing

Lostinplaces · 03/08/2023 18:38

Absolutely heartbreaking news I am so so sorry for your loss and also beyond sorry and utterly disgusted that someone created a fake post, that’s so unbelievably cruel.
please know that vast majority of us had the utmost love and respect for Pamela and can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through as a family. Sending so much love. 💐

vitahelp · 03/08/2023 18:39

I’m so sorry to read your update. I can’t imagine how hard this must have all been for you all. I hope you can find comfort in those around you.

Pamela was very brave to share here. I know it isn’t about me but it actually changed my outlook on a few things in my own life and put some things into perspective.

wildthingsinthenight · 03/08/2023 18:41

Kerr I am so very sad and sorry about the news of lovely Pamela.
I have been following from the very beginning and what a wonderful woman she was. Incredibly brave and generous and the love you had for each other was so evident.
I am sending so much love to you, Jacob and your family. I'll light a candle for Pamela tonight and think of her often xxx

JudgeJ · 03/08/2023 18:42

I am so sorry for you and your family, Pamela was an inspring woman. Hopefully there will be some way of preserving her wonderful posts for you to gain some comfort in the coming empty months and years. Jacob too will be able to see how brave his mother was and how she inspired a worldwide collection of strangers with her words. God bless.

mrswaldron · 03/08/2023 18:44

Dear Kerr, I'm so incredibly sorry and sad to read your updates from today. Although I haven't posted much, I have followed Pamela's story from the start and I've been checking this tread a number of times each day in the hope that there would be some positive news about how Pamela was getting on. I'm absolutely gutted for you, Jacob, Pamela's mum and all your family and friends. Pamela seemed like such a lovely person who I would have been proud to call my friend, had I known her in real life. Her bravery and the way she wrote about the terrible time she was going through will stick with me for a long time and I am so so sorry that things couldn't turn out differently. I hope you have support around you to get you through this difficult time. Bless Pamela's heart, what an incredible lady taken far, far too soon.Thank you for taking the time to let us know and please know that I'm thinking about you all. Sending you all so much love. Take care xx

Oddsocks55 · 03/08/2023 18:48

So, so sorry for your loss Kerr xx

FabFitFifties · 03/08/2023 18:48

Rest in peace brave Pamela. xx

noideawhat · 03/08/2023 18:48

I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending you & your family lots of love Flowers

Fartughtyred · 03/08/2023 18:52

Kerr, I am so desperately sorry to hear the news, my sincere and heartfelt condolences to you, Jacob and Pamelas' Mum.

I think it was clear to anyone who had read her beautifully written, honest and open updates from the beginning, that Pamela was someone who shone very brightly indeed and the force of her love for you and for Jacob was absolute. That love can never be dimmed or taken away and will remain with you both always, with her arms firmly around you.

Pamela has had an impact on so many of us on here and I will continue to hold you and your beautiful son in prayer, for the Lords' presence, comfort and strength for the days and weeks ahead.

I was touched by this, written by Charles Spurgeon, a pastor in the 1880's shortly before he died. I hope that it brings some comfort and that you both will continue to hear your wonderful wife and mothers' sweet music. Much love and a huge hug for Jacob xx

"“At the close of a very dark and gloomy day I lay resting on my couch as the deeper night drew on, and though all was bright within my cosy little room, some of the external darkness seemed to have entered into my soul and obscured its spiritual vision. Vainly I tried to see the hand which I knew held mine and guided my fog-enveloped feet along a steep and slippery path of suffering. In sorrow of heart I asked, ‘Why does my Lord thus deal with His child? Why does he so often send sharp and bitter pain to visit me? Why does he permit lingering weakness to hinder the sweet service I long to render to His poor servants?’ These fretful questions were quickly answered, and though in a strange language, no interpreter was needed save the conscious whisper of my own heart.
“For a while silence reigned in the little room, broken only by the crackling of an oak log burning on the hearth. Suddenly I heard a sweet, soft sound, a little clear, musical note, like the tender trill of a robin beneath my window. ‘What can it be?’ I said to my companion, who was dozing in the firelight; ‘surely no bird can be singing out there at this time of year and night!’ We listened, and again heard the faint plaintive notes, so sweet, so melodious, yet mysterious enough to provoke for a moment our undistinguished wonder. Presently my friend exclaimed, ‘It comes from the log on the fire!’ And we soon ascertained that her surprised assertion was correct. The fire was letting loose the imprisoned music from the old oaks’ inmost heart. Perchance he had garnered up this song in the days when all went well with him, when birds twittered merrily on his branches, and the soft sunlight flecked his tender leaves with gold; but he had grown old since then and hardened; ring after ring of knotty growth had sealed up the long-forgotten melody until fierce tongues of the flames came to consume his callousness and the vehement heat of the fire wrung from him at once a song and a sacrifice.
“Oh! thought I, when the fire of affliction draws songs of praise from us, then indeed we are purified and our God is glorified! Perhaps some of us are like this old oak log – cold, hard and insensible; we should give forth no melodious sounds were it not for the fire which kindles round us, and releases tender notes of trust in Him, and cheerful compliance with His will. As I mused the fire burned and my soul found sweet comfort in the parable so strangely set forth before me. Singing in the fire! Yes, God helping us if that is the only way to get harmony out of these hard, apathetic hearts!

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 03/08/2023 18:52

I'm so sorry to hear this news, Kerr. Thank you for coming back to let us know. Pamela's vibrancy and zest for life came through in her posts, she was a brave woman who we are better for having got to know through these threads.
Sending you, Jacob and your extended family love, thoughts and prayers. May Pamela rest in peace.

9years · 03/08/2023 18:58

Rest in peace Pamela💐

Joeylove88 · 03/08/2023 19:04

I'm deeply sorry to hear that Pamela has passed away. It was very clear to see that she was a beautiful soul with only the purest intentions in her posting. It's been an honour to follow her journey and to offer even a small fraction of support through her journey. It has also been amazing to witness the beautiful side of Mumsnet and the good that can come from everyone coming together with nothing but love ❤️
I'm very sorry to hear about the fake thread there truly are some disgraceful humans out there.
Love and light to your family, and wishing you all the strength and peace of mind knowing that Pamela knew how loved she was by all of you right to the very end. X

neilyoungismyhero · 03/08/2023 19:04

No words, just sincere condolences to you, your son and family. She fought as hard as she could and now is free from pain. Live your best lives.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/08/2023 19:11

I am so sorry for your loss Kerr, Jacob and Pamela’s mummy. Idk how old you are Jacob. I lost a parent when I was in my teens and it was so incredibly hard. I think you have a fab dad to take care of you and I’m betting your Nan is pretty special too. Your mum has a lovely soul and her memories and love live within you. Xxx

Blogswife · 03/08/2023 19:17

I am so very sorry Kerr. Pamela came across as an amazing & brave lady and she has certainly been an inspiration to me & I suspect , many others .
The fake post was unforgivable but please know that there are many of us who believed in Pamela and were praying for her . Your love for her shines through and I wish you , Jacob and your family peace and healing
R.I.P Pamela ❤️

Pancakeorcrepe · 03/08/2023 19:22

This is the saddest news, my heart breaks for you and Jacob. Fly high, Pamela, you were one heck of a human.

mommatoone · 03/08/2023 19:22

Rest in Peace brave lady xx

User012345 · 03/08/2023 19:25

I’m so sorry for your loss. This is heartbreaking. Thinking of you all x

Pixiedust1234 · 03/08/2023 19:25

I've been following along quietly, she came across as a gentle and kind soul. I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers

RafaThisAndRogerThat · 03/08/2023 19:28

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Never underestimate the impact that Pamela's decision to share her story had on so many on here, myself included. She showed such fortitude in the darkest of times. Her example was the tipping point for me to tackle a health issue of my own, something that has been a source of anxiety for many years. I'll never forget the brave, beautiful lady I have to thank for this.

Rest well, Pamela.

Icouldabeenalawyer · 03/08/2023 19:41

So sorry for your loss. Sending love to you Kerr, Jacob & family.
We are blessed to have had pamela share a bit of her life with us, her bravery and dignity was incredible. 💐

RedLem0nade · 03/08/2023 19:49

I’m so sorry Kerr. Heartfelt sympathies to you, Jacob and the whole family on this aching loss x

RelaxedPigeon · 03/08/2023 19:54

I'm so sorry that you have lost Pamela. What a wonderful inspiring woman. RIP Pamela.

Rowgtfc72 · 03/08/2023 20:03

So very sorry for yours and Jacobs loss Kerr.
Your love for each other shone through Pamela's posts.
Rip to a remarkable lady. X

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