Please or to access all these features

Life-limiting illness

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Pamela - Bile Duct Cancer (last thread pancreatic and liver)

1000 replies

WilsonMilson · 30/06/2023 18:19

Hi everyone, I’ve created a new thread as I am overwhelmed to see that the last one is full. You have all filled me up with your hope and encouragement. I’m keeping going as long as I possibly can!!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
EpicChaos · 30/06/2023 20:11

Your bravery, honesty and fighting spirit shine through all of your posts Pamela, I am just so impressed by you.
I wish you, Kerr and Jacob all good things and very best wishes and that once your treatment starts that you soon feel much better and stronger.
Flowers

Joeylove88 · 30/06/2023 20:11

Sending all the light, love, strength, and healing vibes your way. I can't begin to imagine how hard this last few weeks has been for you and for your family but you seem incredibly strong and brave. Be kind to yourself and never stop believing in yourself and what you are capable of overcoming. Feel your emotions and if you need to swear and scream then do it. Do and feel everything that feels right in the moment. You are a real warrior.

Upwiththelark76 · 30/06/2023 20:12

I’m be rad every post of yours . Sending so much love, hugs and positivity. What a beautiful woman you are . 💖

loislovesstewie · 30/06/2023 20:12

❤️❤️❤️

Jumbojade · 30/06/2023 20:13

So sorry that you are going through this Pamela, life can be so cruel. I hope that there is some good news for you on Tuesday. 💐

winteralready · 30/06/2023 20:14

Thinking of you!

carly2803 · 30/06/2023 20:14

Just caught up with your other thread

You are such a brave and beautiful person. keep fighting.

Not today. < keep saying that. Keep fighting

Birdsmakingnests · 30/06/2023 20:16

Your photos are beautiful, what a lovely family.
Wishing you love, luck and strength

LodiDodi · 30/06/2023 20:17

Hi Pamela and family. I'm so sorry you're going through this, no one ever deserves such a cruel thing. But I wanted to add that from your posts on here it is clear that you are a wonderful person full of love and you have been doing so well despite everything this has thrown at you. I hope you've been able to take some comfort by sharing your thoughts here and thank you for sharing with us your bright personality.

deltablue · 30/06/2023 20:19

Dear Pamela
I've also been following your story from the first post and moved to tears by what you're going through. All I can do is echo the earlier posters and ask Kerr to kick down the door to get the pain relief you need. Whatever treatment they will offer next week, there is no way you should be suffering like this. A hospice can offer even short term support, it doesn't mean you're going to end up there. Pain management is their speciality and they are marvellous. Wishing you a speedy treatment plan and many happier years ahead to enjoy your beautiful family. Praying for you all, continually. Chris from Rickmansworth

madcattersteaparty · 30/06/2023 20:19

Hi Pamela, we are all here to hold your hand.

“Will you... Hold my hand for a little while?
I don’t need you to save me
No need for you to fix anything
No need for you to hold my pain
But will you simply hold my hand?

I do not need your words
Your thoughts
Nor your shoulders to carry me
But will you sit here for a while with me?

Whilst my tears they stream
Whilst my heart it shatters
Whilst my mind plays tricks on me
Will you with your presence let me know that I am not alone, whilst I wander into my inner unknown?

For my darkness is mine to face
My pain is mine to feel
And my wounds are mine to heal
But will you sit with me here, while I courageously show up for it all my dear?

For I am bright because of my darkness
Beautiful because of my brokenness
And strong due to my tender heart
But will you take my hand lovingly, when I sometimes journey into the dark?

I don’t ask for you to take my darkness away
I don’t expect for you to brighten my day
And I don’t believe that you can mend my pain
But I would surely love if you could sit for a while and hold my hand, until I find my way out of my shadowland!

So will you... Hold my hand until I return again?”~

~Zoe Johansen

DrSbaitso · 30/06/2023 20:20

There's no justice, Pamela, nobody should be going through this. You obviously have a wonderful family who love you very much. Your photos are beautiful. You are strength and light.

slore · 30/06/2023 20:22

I'm am so sorry to read what you're going through, sending you love and hope from down south <3

How do you feel about alternative treatments? I know people who have had some good results from alternative methods, but wouldn't want to bombard you with unwanted suggestions at this time.

LadyRoughDiamond · 30/06/2023 20:24

I’ve been following your thread and wanted to thank you for your generosity in letting us (in a small way) share this precious time with you. If we could bottle the strength of support that you have here it would be an amazing medicine. As it is, all we can do is send you our hope and prayers.
You really are an incredible person and your beautiful family are testament to your spirit and love xx

WilsonMilson · 30/06/2023 20:25

I am blown away by your replies today and the fact I’ve had to create a new thread. I didn’t expect this at all.

To the person who mentioned media, that’s really not me and I hope no one picks this up as I’m quite a private person usually, just threw caution to the wind as sharing felt right, and I don’t regret it, but the absolute last thing I want is to be plastered all over the Daily Mail!

To those who suggested hospice/ palliative cafe. Kerr phoned our GP this afternoon who is now making a referral, I’m not scared of that as I know it’s not all about death, and I would really appreciate better pain management support. Even the GP said that I’m not on the hard hitters - I’m only taking codeine, pregabalin and paracetamol for pain, and cyclezine for nausea. So some input would be helpful as I’m sure that being in less pain would make me feel a bit more human. Concentrating on nutrition too, a week on hospital food really didn’t serve me well. I’m not absorbing much, but I’m trying to do my very best in small quantities often.

I’ve been so encouraged by the posters who have talked about loved ones who have received a similar diagnosis and felt much better after stenting and were able to then have treatment - just seems a long way off when I’m so sick and weak, but so hopeful to read.
Especially thanks to the poster who sent her husband’s liver function test improvements - thank you so much for that and I hope your husband continues to do really well.

You’re all stars. I don’t know you, but your goodness and humanity just shines. Never underestimate the power of a kind word - the darkest time of my life is being made a bit more bearable because of your support, prayers and words.

OP posts:
Batteredoldchesterfield · 30/06/2023 20:31

I've only just seen this but couldn't not reply. Sending love and strength to you and your family x

HaveYouHeardOfARoadAtlas · 30/06/2023 20:31

I’ve only just seen your previous thread tonight and have read that one and now this one. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m keeping you and Kerr and Jacob in my thoughts and really hope for some positive news for you regarding stents and possible treatment.

BlueFlint · 30/06/2023 20:33

Life can be a real shit, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sending love and light to you and your family and hoping some positive progress is just round the corner x

BiteyShark · 30/06/2023 20:34

Pamela I really hope they get your pain under control.

My DM struggled with eating because her appetite went. We ended up working around her cravings which was a bit of meat with mashed potato and gravy as it was easy to eat so carveries ended up being a treat day out so she could have that type of food outside of the house while feeling normal. It's the little things that made a big difference so I hope you find whatever gives you joy despite all the pain you are going through.

EdieLedwell · 30/06/2023 20:35

Pamela your photos of your family are so beautiful. I'm sorry to hear you're in so much pain and can't believe how long they've taken to get to this point. But if you have the stent there are some really hopeful stories on this thread.

I've been around since day 1 and I'm just blown away by the love and kindness of this thread.

Everyone's with you Pamela, much love, strength and prayers 💕

rubyroo31 · 30/06/2023 20:36

I came across your post by complete accident, as I’m never on this site much anymore, but I can’t just read and leave without sending love and prayers to you and your family, I have no words that will help.

Stressedafff · 30/06/2023 20:36

Sending you so much love and strength. ❤️❤️❤️

overthinkersanonnymus · 30/06/2023 20:38

madcattersteaparty · 30/06/2023 20:19

Hi Pamela, we are all here to hold your hand.

“Will you... Hold my hand for a little while?
I don’t need you to save me
No need for you to fix anything
No need for you to hold my pain
But will you simply hold my hand?

I do not need your words
Your thoughts
Nor your shoulders to carry me
But will you sit here for a while with me?

Whilst my tears they stream
Whilst my heart it shatters
Whilst my mind plays tricks on me
Will you with your presence let me know that I am not alone, whilst I wander into my inner unknown?

For my darkness is mine to face
My pain is mine to feel
And my wounds are mine to heal
But will you sit with me here, while I courageously show up for it all my dear?

For I am bright because of my darkness
Beautiful because of my brokenness
And strong due to my tender heart
But will you take my hand lovingly, when I sometimes journey into the dark?

I don’t ask for you to take my darkness away
I don’t expect for you to brighten my day
And I don’t believe that you can mend my pain
But I would surely love if you could sit for a while and hold my hand, until I find my way out of my shadowland!

So will you... Hold my hand until I return again?”~

~Zoe Johansen

That is a beautiful poem @madcattersteaparty

Whattheflipflap · 30/06/2023 20:41

Sending you all the love in the world Pamela 😘❤️

MouseKeys · 30/06/2023 20:41

Oh my goodness I've just caught up with the other thread and now found this one, I'm so sorry to hear that you have been having such a rough time. Your little family is beautiful the love you have for one another just shines out of your photos. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers, I hope you can get some rest now you're back at home to better fight this horrible disease. Much love ❤️

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.