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LGBT parents

This board is primarily for those whose children have LGBTQ+ parents to share their personal experiences and advice.

Original poster

Totally shocked!!! Need help please!

447 replies

danceswithdeath · 08/09/2019 20:03

Okay so. My son goes to a private school; they do pray etc but we are not religious at home. There are obviously other parents who do not follow a religion too.

I am on a group WhatsApp with the fellow parents of my sons class (just gone into year three). Someone has just put a link for us to sign, and it is regarding not teaching our children about LGBTQ in class....

Now, I get it. Everyone has their own personal opinions. But I find this really shocking!! No one has replied expect myself, where I have asked if it was a mistake or not. They said no and to read it.

Well I really want to put something, but I'm not sure if I should... it's pissed me right off though!! I am so open with my son! He knows about a lot.

Has anyone any advice on what I could say that is calm and to the point?

OP posts:
DarlingNikita · 09/09/2019 17:16

It's actually quite ridiculous that we define people by who they're attracted to. When someone likes chocolate, beef burgers or tofu, we don't say they 'are' whatever. So why when a man is attracted to men to we say he 'is' gay?
Why are you, personally, saying that women attracted to men and vice versa 'are' hetero?

Seeing as 'being' gay is no more than a preference who you want to sleep with, I'd advise them to marry someone from the opposite gender and settle down.*

That's worked so well for generations of people forced into heteronormativity.

Much like any parent would do if their child had illegal sexual preferences.

Being gay is not illegal.

SoupDragon · 09/09/2019 17:17

Clue's in the word - single, not family

So my 3 children and I are not a family?

while you personally might be a lovely human being

I am. You clearly aren't.

SimonJT · 09/09/2019 17:36

@Eli38 Seeing as 'being' gay is no more than a preference who you want to sleep with, I'd advise them to marry someone from the opposite gender and settle down.*

Your sexuality may be nothing more than who you sleep with, but that isn’t the reality for many people. For lots of people it’s about finding someone to love, raise a family with and to spend the rest of their lives with. Just because to people like you it is nothing beyond who you sleep with it doesn’t mean everyone sees a relationship as nothing more than sex.

I do however find it quite worrying that you think it is acceptable to teach your children to be a liar and to enter a sham marriage. Someone who is pro sham marriages simply cannot believe in the sanctity of marriage, not something I have come across in a person who claims to be religious before.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 09/09/2019 17:51

Seeing as 'being' gay is no more than a preference who you want to sleep with, I'd advise them to marry someone from the opposite gender and settle down.*

Eli38

a) you are confusing sex and gender

b) if you really believe that sexuality is a "choice", why don't you have a sexual relationship with someone of the same sex as yourself for a year or so, and show us how easy it is to be intimate with someone who you might like as a friend, may even love as a close friend, but whose genital configuration repels you!

Hmm

There also isn’t anything wrong with being promiscuous

I'm sorry you think that Simon. Promiscuity is harmful to children whose parents behave promiscuously, it increases the likelihood of the spread of some really horrible diseases and it breaks up families. It is also prevalent in people who were abused as children children, and is frequently a sign of despair and self-loathing. It is treating other people as objects and not individuals.

To me there is a lot wrong with promiscuity. (Though I accept we may have to agree to differ.)

DarlingNikita · 09/09/2019 18:09

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Rubicon80 · 09/09/2019 18:11

@Eli38
Seeing as 'being' gay is no more than a preference who you want to sleep with, I'd advise them to marry someone from the opposite gender and settle down.*

Your heartlessness towards your hypothetical gay child's hypothetical future spouse is appalling. How can you possibly think that it is moral, ethical, or humane to advise a marriage that would be a hollow, meaningless insult to all that is true and genuine?

Much like any parent would do if their child had illegal sexual preferences. You ignore the desire (or act upon it in your fantasies), and live your life.

It hasn't been illegal to be in a gay relationship for several decades, you know.

Why is sexual attraction the way one is defined?

It isn't. Only if you are a homophobe. And you ARE a homophobe, or if you prefer, you are someone who practises and promotes hatred towards gay people.

Also your anecdotal evidence is bollocks.

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 09/09/2019 18:24

@Eli38 so are you actually saying that because I'm a single parent that my two children (who live with me) and me aren't a family? How dare you

iklboo · 09/09/2019 18:30

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Alwaysgrey · 09/09/2019 18:33

I have no issue at all with my children having this kind of education but the trans aspect and who would be delivering it or where the information has come from would be an issue for me (my sister is gay, my uncle is gay and my brother in law is gay so I have no issue with anyone being LGB)

Eli38 · 09/09/2019 19:05

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iklboo · 09/09/2019 19:07

Are you trying to get banned?

Eli38 · 09/09/2019 19:10

I do however find it quite worrying that you think it is acceptable to teach your children to be a liar and to enter a sham marriage. Someone who is pro sham marriages simply cannot believe in the sanctity of marriage, not something I have come across in a person who claims to be religious before.

Not sham marriage. Merely one in which one spouse would have be attracted to other people. So not that much unlike many marriages, only in this case the other people would be of the same gender.

Eli38 · 09/09/2019 19:12

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Eli38 · 09/09/2019 19:14

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eladen · 09/09/2019 19:14

People like some of the posters on this thread are why so many consider Christian lifestyles to be immoral.

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 09/09/2019 19:17

I've also heard the term 'goady fucker'

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 09/09/2019 19:31

Well done OP. Hopefully there will be other non bigoted parents on the thread who will support you.

Telling a three year old they can change biological sex if they want to is NOT THE SAME as telling them they can love who they want to!

Are you sure you want your kids to be in a religious school op?!?!

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 09/09/2019 19:37

What joyful little hippo said!

SoupDragon · 09/09/2019 19:40

@Eli38 so are you actually saying that because I'm a single parent that my two children (who live with me) and me aren't a family? How dare you

Apparently so. I asked as well.

savingshoes · 09/09/2019 19:42

I agree with Stapelberg and Teacher22 every child has a right to a childhood and I don't think it's age appropriate to be discussing these details with children in primary schools.

Secondary schools is more of an age appropriate time to teach all of this information to children and if they are asking questions about people they know before this age, parents are perfectly capable of explaining this to them.

DoctorAllcome · 09/09/2019 20:40

@joyfullittlehippo

So, would you be happy for this to happen to your child?
“In school my son was shown a video of a man sexually attracted to balloons” (new thread here on mumsnet).

Again, the OP has constructed a straw man claiming that the petition is to “not teach our children about LGBTQ” when in fact, the petition is against the U.K. government making Relationship and Sex Education classes compulsory from 2020 where parents cannot pull their kids out of the class if they object to any material for religious reasons. The OPs children are at zero risk of not being taught about LGBTQ despite what she says.

DoctorAllcome · 09/09/2019 20:54

@ArgumentativeAardvaark
”
On a separate note, at least it was only a petition about being able to withdraw your kid and not one about stopping schools doing the lessons altogether. Much as I agree fully with you as to the education I would like my child to have, I do also respect the right of other parents to choose what their children are taught. So in itself the petition is a non-event, her error was in implicitly suggesting that other parents SHOULD agree with it, rather than simply saying “sign if you share this view”.

Thank you! For also seeing this & how the OP mis-represented the petition. I had posted the exact same opinion and comment and no one seemed to understand how this could be a future problem....

SimonJT · 09/09/2019 21:00

Shame is a very dangerous emotion for children to continually feel. Trust us on that.

DarlingNikita · 10/09/2019 11:13

saving, every child has a right to a childhood. Taking the example upthread of a 2-year-old at a wedding with two grooms, where she asked where the bride was and was told the grooms didn’t love a bride, they loved each other. The poster says that was the end of it.
Is that taking away her childhood?

I also see that I've been deleted just for, as far as I remember, calling out Schadenfreude's patronising comment ''I'm sorry you think that Simon.' Hmm

Not sham marriage. Merely one in which one spouse would have be attracted to other people. So not that much unlike many marriages, only in this case the other people would be of the same gender.
That's just sophistry. Most people go into marriage intending to remain attracted to only their partner. What you seem to be advocating is a marriage where at least one party knows from the off that they'd rather be shagging someone else.
Your morality, Eli, is way off. And I fear for your children.

TheWitcher · 10/09/2019 12:07

It's hard to believe that in this day and age people still think that gay people should be expected to enter into loveless marriages.

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