Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
LGBT parents

This board is primarily for those whose children have LGBTQ+ parents to share their personal experiences and advice.

Original poster

Totally shocked!!! Need help please!

447 replies

danceswithdeath · 08/09/2019 20:03

Okay so. My son goes to a private school; they do pray etc but we are not religious at home. There are obviously other parents who do not follow a religion too.

I am on a group WhatsApp with the fellow parents of my sons class (just gone into year three). Someone has just put a link for us to sign, and it is regarding not teaching our children about LGBTQ in class....

Now, I get it. Everyone has their own personal opinions. But I find this really shocking!! No one has replied expect myself, where I have asked if it was a mistake or not. They said no and to read it.

Well I really want to put something, but I'm not sure if I should... it's pissed me right off though!! I am so open with my son! He knows about a lot.

Has anyone any advice on what I could say that is calm and to the point?

OP posts:
Lweji · 17/09/2019 21:09

Its like parents having the right to refuse immunisations for their children.

In many countries they don't. But this is more an issue of enforcement and dealing with genuine cases where vaccination is not recommended.

Still, it's two different issues. One is about protection from illness, the other about how to live in this society, respecting all its members, and, in some cases, about feeling ok with oneself.
Quite frankly, having parents who may have gay children telling them it's wrong, sinful, and that they reject socialising with gay people is abusive. It can, and often leads, to serious mental health issues.

itson · 17/09/2019 21:44

It would be interesting to see a study or any actual proof that shows that entering a gay relationship isnt a choice. Or that being gay depends on how you are born rather then due to the society you live in.

TheSandman · 17/09/2019 22:22

I've not read the whole of the thread but if my experience will count for anything:

My DD#1 came out when she was in her last year at primary school aged 11 or so. No surprise to us at all. There was no overt LGBT awareness training at her primary or any of the other primary schools in the area. I wish there had been because maybe some of her classmates might have behaved a bit less like the total dicks they turned into when they got to secondary.

Having your DD come home in tears because she had been called 'Dyke' and 'Lezzer' on the school bus and been subjected to physical verbal and emotional abuse is not fun. The high school staff were great. very supportive. But they were having to deal with a situation that may well have been avoided / ameliorated by educating the homophobic little dickweeds a few of years earlier.

TheSandman · 17/09/2019 22:29

Can I also say … would people please stop immediately thinking about physical sex whenever they read/hear about same-sex relationships. People are not defined by their sexual habits

I had a lesbian friend who used to answer the question: "What do lesbians do in bed?" by saying:

"Read the Sunday papers... eat biscuits... "

UltimateSalt · 17/09/2019 23:04

Of course having a same sex relationships is a choice. Bit being gay isn't.

Autumn2019 · 18/09/2019 01:00

I do not wish to get into a debate. This is just my opinion- to which i am entitled.
The reasons as to why parents are allowed to decide on immunisations is a moot point. The fact remains they can decide. I am not suggesting that parents who may or may not have gay children should tell them that being gay is wrong, sinful, and that they reject socialising with gay people. Some parents seem to prefer to have these conversations with their children in a home environment where they can answer any questions their DC may have as opposed to an education establishment which is probably under-staffed and overstretched trying to tick boxes. I personally think it is fair to offer parents this option. This is just my humble opinion.

SimonJT · 18/09/2019 08:08

My ex made the show on the link below, certain people need to watch it to understand how much their views are damaging other people and children.

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p057nfy7

Aoibhneas · 18/09/2019 08:13

Children that age are far too young to be taught about complex life changing issues. I would sign the petition.

Lweji · 18/09/2019 09:10

Or that being gay depends on how you are born rather then due to the society you live in.

Considering that the % of gay people doesn't change much regardless of society, I'd say it doesn't depend on the society.
The difference is that people are forced into heterosexual relationships in some societies or brainwashed into denying their own preferences. That is all.

Lweji · 18/09/2019 09:13

Children that age are far too young to be taught about complex life changing issues

How complex is it to tell children that people can marry whoever they want, including people of the same sex?
Or even that some people think they are of the opposite sex?
Compared to division, it seems a lot more simple. Grin

Lweji · 18/09/2019 09:17

The reasons as to why parents are allowed to decide on immunisations is a moot point. The fact remains they can decide.

If you want to use it as a comparison, then the reasons are important.
Parents can also choose what their children wear and that's not comparable to LGBT awareness classes.

SaraNade · 18/09/2019 09:59

It would be interesting to see a study or any actual proof that shows that entering a gay relationship isnt a choice.

Of course entering a relationship - any relationship, is a choice. However being gay is no more a choice than being heterosexual is, or being black is.

Or that being gay depends on how you are born rather then due to the society you live in.

So, are you saying that you are heterosexual only because of the society you live in? Are you really saying that?

DarlingNikita · 18/09/2019 10:02

So, are you saying that you are heterosexual only because of the society you live in? Are you really saying that?
Ha! Nice one Grin

itson, you beggar belief.

TheSandman · 18/09/2019 10:32

Children that age are far too young to be taught about complex life changing issues. I would sign the petition.

But you are ok with them being taught totally unsubstantiated, evidence free, Bronze- age creation myths as fact?

shaogisa · 22/09/2019 03:17

are they muslim

bondulance · 22/09/2019 21:37

www.bbc.com/news/education-49497837

"Questioned on the day of judgement". What a bunch of homophobic nut jobs.

RiftGibbon · 24/09/2019 07:50

For those who think homosexuality is wrong - why?
Religion = your personal choice to believe. Others people you meet daily may have different beliefs. And you need to be aware of all the things your religion prohibits and adherer to them.
Can't have children naturally = nor can a lot of straight people. Plus the world is overpopulated and we don't need to produce heirs to marry off and maintain control of villages/hamlets etc
It'll make straight children gay= being taught about heterosexual relationships only didn't make gay people straight.

Nobody is going to be giving children practical demonstrations. Even if they were, there are no sex acts carried out by homosexual people that are not carried out by straight people too.

UltimateSalt · 24/09/2019 16:29

Bigotry, pure and simple.

jechtsphere · 24/09/2019 20:40

Religion is a cancer.

curlyNOTstr8 · 28/11/2019 09:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hitchyhero · 11/01/2020 17:29

Quite a lot of homophobes on this thread. My son has 2 dad's. How can I explain that to him at "an appropriate Age"

Should I try and avoid saying one of us is his dad and say that he's just a friend?

amoobaa · 03/02/2020 17:57

at 3 they are far too young for this kind of information.

What kind of information? The fact that some children have parents who are both male or both female? That gay marriage exists?

Are you also keeping it a big secret that you are straight?

Oh that’s right, you don’t have to... it’s obvious- straight people haven’t been systematically oppressed. You’re in the majority. You’re ‘normal’.

One of the ugliest traits we possess is the frantic need to attack anything different or unfamiliar. Gay isn’t contagious. Your child doesn’t care... unless you teach them to care and teach them to discriminate.

Why would you want to stop other children from feeling comfortable about their own family? and stop them openly acknowledging their own parents?

Are you suggesting all children with gay parents have to keep it a big secret, until their peers are ready to hear the big news? Why the mysterious cloak and dagger approach? It doesn’t need to be an issue, unless of course you want to make an issue out of it.

Do you not realise that sexual orientation is about so much more than sex? It’s also about identity, love, family and social acceptance.

Keeping same sex parenting a big secret sends out a toxic and silent message that they are ‘less’ and they should feel ashamed of themselves, their family, their identity and ashamed of their parents.

That’s not nice behaviour- that’s oppressive and nasty. I doubt God would approve of such bigotry.

Acknowledging that some people are gay will not magically make your child gay. Sounds like you need to go to one of these lessons yourself! Hmm

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.