Totally shocked!!! Need help please!

[danceswithdeath]

Okay so. My son goes to a private school; they do pray etc but we are not religious at home. There are obviously other parents who do not follow a religion too.

I am on a group WhatsApp with the fellow parents of my sons class (just gone into year three). Someone has just put a link for us to sign, and it is regarding not teaching our children about LGBTQ in class....

Now, I get it. Everyone has their own personal opinions. But I find this really shocking!! No one has replied expect myself, where I have asked if it was a mistake or not. They said no and to read it.

Well I really want to put something, but I'm not sure if I should... it's pissed me right off though!! I am so open with my son! He knows about a lot.

Has anyone any advice on what I could say that is calm and to the point?

I’ve reported it. I am disgusted. Children should know that being gay is normal and natural. Flabbergasted!

I’d encourage you all to report it too as it it very close to the 5000 signatures it requires, shockingly!

If I’m being honest, I would not want it being taught in schools. It should be taught at home. Children could get confused at a young age about it. Some already think it’s some kind of club you join. Today I am gay. Yesterday I was trans, etc. I am seeing this among middle schoolers. Many have become gender dysphoric. All of this should be discussed at home. School should be reserved for academics. If it’s not at home, the child should have the option to discuss it with a guidance counselor who is well equipped to clear the air on these topics with the student. There are too many kids running around confused, some of them wanting to be trans just to fit in to these groups. I say keep it at home. It’s too personal to make it a subject at school

My children go to a private Catholic school and their policy is not to actively include homosexuality as part of the sex education curriculum but that if a child raises a question to answer it truthfully. For example, DS1 aged 4 said that a man couldn’t marry another man. His TA explained that this was actually possible so he came home and told his brother that he could marry his best friend!!! Note that we had never said to him that a man couldn’t marry a man. This was purely his interpretation that he had presumably picked up as he had only ever seen a heterosexual wedding. I think that this approach is a good compromise for younger children. However, I would expect a senior school to include homosexuality as part of their sex education curriculum.

Note also that some parents have expressed objections to homosexuality being discussed at all in DS’ school. They tend to be non-British parents and it is important to understand that in their culture homosexuality is viewed very differently. It may be that the parent in OP’s case falls into this category and although I absolutely do not agree with their views, it is important to understand the background of their views and educate them without being confrontational at the outset.

I am 61, I was not taught anything very much at all regarding sex by anyone. least of all about this sort of thing. I have friends that are in "same" sex relationships and friends that are in "opposite" sex relationships, none of this bothers me because what anyone else wishes to do sexually is none of my business as long as it doesn't involve me in any way or hurt anyone in any way.

My point being...being schooled about these things is not always needed to make you open minded, you are either open minded or you are not. Unless of course your home life is drilling you that you should not accept something.

Those of you responding in shock horror to this and going on about teaching children about LGBT+ relationships - have any of you actually asked what is covered in the curriculum at this age?

Schools do NOT teach about physical LGBT+ relationships but about different types of families - and, last time I looked, same-sex relationships were legal in this country.

Schools teach children the facts ie: you can have 2 mummies or 2 daddies - it's up to parents to teach the morality according to their own beliefs. Are we going to insist that only families where the parents are married are going to be mentioned? That anyone who lives together (and thus are living in sin according to some) is not a "proper" family? And what about extended families? Where you have stepparents, half siblings, etc.

Of course, legally the school cannot discriminate against any of the protected characteristics under the Equalities Act 2010 (which includes sex and gender) so if they don't teach about LGBT+ families then they can't teach about any sort of family …

I'd have been much more firm with that idiot, whoever it is. more like 'I'm shocked to discover that we have superstitious bigots in this group. I don't care what your imaginary friend thinks and I fully support the school teaching all our children tolerance and respect for diversity.'

@Teacher22, leaving it to the teenage years is too late I think. We knew everything really from aged 6 onwards. Not from what we were taught but from what we were told by older children. We knew all about oral/ anal sex/lesbian sex at 6. Children are not stupid.
All we were taught at school was penis in vagina sex at aged 13. I think that's way too little way too late. Children need to be taught about all types of sexual and other relationships early on I believe.

Can I also say … would people please stop immediately thinking about physical sex whenever they read/hear about same-sex relationships. People are not defined by their sexual habits. Nobody, on meeting a heterosexual couple, starts thinking about how they have sex, whether he goes on top or she does, etc. (unless, I suppose, there's a huge difference in height or size) you accept them as a couple … so why do it with LGBT+ couples?

The trouble is that some people assume when they hear about relationship education for young children that they are going to be given every biological detail, whereas of course that is not what will happen.

I have gay friends with children. I want them to be able to go to nursery and school secure in the knowledge that there is nothing wrong with their parents' relationship, and that it no less acceptable to have same sex parents than to have one of each sex. I don't want their children to be bullied for what their parents are. So far as I am concerned, early education that helps to achieve that is entirely welcome.

OP well said. My DS2 has just started reception class in a catholic school and they are very open and inclusive. If I’d have received such a message I wouldn’t have been as pleasant as yourself. I’d have told them to take their homophobic, bigoted arse and fuck right off.

Ignore and if challenged say that you have a live n let live philosophy and are open to educating on inclusion and acceptance?

I don't think it should be taught as such, but be included in a, sort of, respect for everyone kind of way. Children are very in the moment. When after a dance class DD said she really liked a girl in the class I said I would ask her mummy or daddy if she can come to play, DD said she didn't have a daddy, I said that's ok lots of children don't. DD said it's OK, she has 2 mummies. Not a hint of anything unusual From DD.
Whatever is, is normal for children.

@Stapelberg
I will 100% NOT let some stranger tell me son about gay/lesbian relationships at that tender age. I and I only will talk to him about this when he is ready and able to make sense of the world.

What’s the difference between knowing about heterosexual relationships and gay relationships? It will be easier for him to “make sense of the world” if he learns acceptance of others from a young age.

I like your response.... it was measured and well thought out.

Well done.

I wonder whether the person whose child was told at nursery they could be a girl if they wanted to has misinterpreted the situation this was said in.For example if your child was dressing up.This would make sense although I dont agree with the comment as there shouldnt be resources which are considered boys or girls.Those that object to LGBT being raised at school or nursery is that the progessionals are just that.All education in relation to this subject would be taught sensitively and appropriately to the childs age.Just like anywhere there will be thode who get it wrong and of course this should then be challeged.It is always good to educate our children in matters such as this.Who wouldnt want their child to feel happy and secure about themselves and others? Well done for speaking out

Your MY SON KNOWS A LOT made me lol. So glad I can't afford private ed.
You and this parent just sound diff ends of the crazy spectrum

Ok haven’t read the whole thread because I couldn’t get pass the utter idiot who said “my child won’t be taught any science rubbish” and then chose to amend to “anti science rubbish”. She was right the first time. Science, and not just one branch either, concurs that it is actually possible to change ones sex or gender in certain conditions. Anthropologists have studied tribes that have had a 3rd gender since time immemorial, biologists love to tell people screaming “but chromosomes!” from their armchairs all about how utterly fucking nonsensical it is. Every close minded pearl clutcher on here is going to swoop in after reading this I’m sure. But. My husbands parent was transgender - not fully transitioned due to their age and their wish to keep their precarious relationship with their own parents intact. DH & I have two sons, one Autistic & one neurological. BOTH managed to grasp, assimilate and be fine with the concept from the age they first noticed the difference. Their grandparent was called NanDad as it bridged the gap between their appearance and their identity quite nicely. Eldest is now 13 and it hasn’t warped his mind, youngest is now 5, misses NanDad terribly & told a nosey cow of a woman at the park that he could wear nail polish if he wanted because colours are for everyone. I’m very proud of my inclusive and actual science aware children. Just because YOU freak out at something you don’t want to understand doesn’t mean it’s going to harm your children to be a little kinder and more educated than you currently are. I have this argument a lot, I was asked by a feminist researcher to take part in a consultation on female only spaces and it shocked me that she had come to her position on Trans issues without doing hardly any research into the science. She knew nothing about the anthropological history of several /changing genders, or the chromosomal changes that some animals can make. Happily she was very interested and chased me up for some links which I’m going to post below in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, the next generation of children won’t be a load of Aunt Mabel’s. Do your homework before you think you’re the best person to educate your children on this issue because I’d put bloody good money down that if you think it’s weird or unnatural or that children shouldn’t know about it, then you’re the very last person that should be talking to any children about LGBTQI.

www.livinganthropologically.com/anthropology-sex-gender-sexuality-social-constructions/

sites.psu.edu/evolutionofhumansexuality/2014/02/19/third-genders-new-concept-or-old/

medium.com/@nitishatomar/influence-of-culture-on-gender-identities-and-sexual-practices-4f079a48481e

owlcation.com/social-sciences/psychological-Cultural-Differences-Sexual-Identity-Gender-Identity-and-Sexual-Orientation

www.opusgay.org/projetos/transexualidade/528-sex-gender-diversity-a-cross-cultural-perspective.html

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/11/171114104245.htm

www.pbs.org/independentlens/content/two-spirits_map-html/

Well you’ve written the perfect answer - IF this is real, but then you already know that it was the perfect answer so really you’re just posting for praise at your response.
“Well done Op, fab response - you’re WONDERFUL.”
Ok?

@Harvestsquirrel1 How will teaching kids that some people have two mums or two dads confuse them? And what about schools who don't have guidance councillors?

That part of it won’t confuse them. I’m just saying it does not need to be made a subject in class. It should be taught at home.

So much faff for nothing! Just reinforce if someone is different then you and even if you dont agree with their lifestyle choices or whatever you still have to treat them well. Done. No need for "lessons" on sex, two mummys/daddys, trans etc.
And just to point out, teaching kids that two mummy or daddys can have children is as scientifically wrong as teaching them that a girl can turn into a boy and vice versa.