How can I support my son if he wants to wear a skirt to school?

RunningFromInsanity · 23/08/2022 18:33

What’s the school policy? Surely you just tell him the uniform is shorts/trousers, not pajamas, wellies or skirts.
At home he can wear what he likes, but not at school.

LaraLei · 23/08/2022 18:34

I would send a ten year old boy to school in a skirt. Recipe for being bullied surely. Why does he want to wear a skirt at school?

LaraLei · 23/08/2022 18:34

Sorry would not send

DailyMope · 23/08/2022 18:35

I don't know OP. Does he have special needs?

There is nothing intrinsic bout skirts being only for females and it should be fine for boys to wear skirts as it is ok for girls to wear trousers.

But in reality it would be quite odd so you need to understand why he want this. School is not a place for wring clothes you love, it's a place for learning and sticking with the rules. Many schools no have 2 types of uniforms rather than girls/boys uniform so again, it should be fine from the school's perspective. It's an odd thing to do but if he is happy to be odd and you are ok with it, why not?

DailyMope · 23/08/2022 18:36

ignore typos 🤔😣

LaFemmeNicola · 23/08/2022 18:36

Well yes, of course he’s going to be mocked and bullied. Do you understand why he wants to cross-dress at school? Is that not best left for outside school, like other hobbies?

TheBikiniExpert · 23/08/2022 18:37

Surely he must know it's an unusual choice? If he's ok about it and it's not against school rules, just let him. I don't think you really need to "support" him.

Creativecrafts · 23/08/2022 18:38

To support your son, you need to tell him that wearing a skirt to school isn't appropriate. Wouldn't he be sent home anyway, for not wearing the correct uniform?

Bluebells12 · 23/08/2022 18:38

You can either:

(a) indulge him and let him wear it to school, where he’ll be much mocked and, no matter what he decides and does later, he will always be that boy who wore a skirt, or:

(b) you can educate him that school has a uniform policy and traditions that are about showing respect and conformity to the group’s social norms.

I would like to wear my pyjamas to work (they’re really comfy!) but I don’t, because of social norms and traditions. I would bloody love to walk around in nothing but my knickers in a heatwave, but I don’t, because of social norms and traditions. I would like to swim and work out naked, but I don’t.

Suzy14837 · 23/08/2022 18:38

Check the school uniform policy.
If it's not allowed, but if he still wants to wear it, and you want to pursue it, then speak to the Head and if you don't get a satisfactory resolution there, then Chair of Govs.
If it is allowed, then let him. But I would still speak to the school first, to make sure they're on board with with and expecting it. Send him in trousers anyway until you've had a chance to discuss it with Head and his new class teacher.
He will get teased by his peers, I daresay, but not so much if the school has prepared the class.

NC12345665 · 23/08/2022 18:39

Why have you posted in LGBT children? Is he gay or trans?

Suzy14837 · 23/08/2022 18:40

RunningFromInsanity · 23/08/2022 18:33

What’s the school policy? Surely you just tell him the uniform is shorts/trousers, not pajamas, wellies or skirts.
At home he can wear what he likes, but not at school.

More and more schools are just saying "skirt or trousers" and not specifying who should wear each.

Creativecrafts · 23/08/2022 18:41

He will get teased by his peers, I daresay, but not so much if the school has prepared the class
The easiest way to make sure he doesn't get teased is to send him in trousers.

yougotthelook · 23/08/2022 18:44

BarkhamBelle · 23/08/2022 18:29

My 10yo son has decided he wants to wear skirts. I bought him one for at home, which he has barely taken off as he loves it. Now he has asked me to buy him a skirt for school for the new term. He says it's because he likes the way it looks and the way it feels. I am fully in support of him wearing whatever he is comfortable with, but I am so worried about him being teased or bullied at school (he's quite sensitive and we've had problems before with his friendships at school). How can we best support him? I feel really out of my depth and scared I will not handle this right, so looking for any advice or similar experiences please.... Thanks

He's 10.
You're the adult.
Skirts at home, trousers in school.
He can make decisions such as his clothing choice (whatever they may be) when he's older and more able to deal with the (inevitable) backlash from his peers.

torquewench · 23/08/2022 18:45

Doesn't the school have a uniform policy?

That always trumped my feelings.

MoodyTwo · 23/08/2022 18:46

God no ! I wore a tartan back pack on my first day of school and was mocked for 5 years ... don't do let him do it. Kids are evil

LizzieSiddal · 23/08/2022 18:47

I personally think anyone should be-able to wear trousers or a skirt but you have to folios school rules.
As the headteacher at my DDs school used to say- if you don’t like the rules or think they don’t apply to you, then please go and find another school.

LizzieSiddal · 23/08/2022 18:47

*follow

onelittlefrog · 23/08/2022 18:48

I would talk to his teacher about it and ensure there are processes in place around bullying and how they would support him if he were to be teased. Also talk to him about the fact that he might get some funny looks etc. so that he is prepared. If I was happy that any teasing/ bullying wouldn't be tolerated, I would let him do it.

Some of the most confident, well-rounded people I know have been brave enough to do things against social norms and come out the other side of teasing and bullying as much stronger individuals, sure of who they are, and confident.

As a parent your job is to support him to become who he wants to be - it is society that has a problem, not your son. He might have to face a bit of teasing but if he has a stable base at home, he will be able to, and he will feel validated for who he is.

If you tell him he must suppress himself, I'm sure he'll follow your advice, but his personality and self expression will be all the weaker for it.

Your choice, really.

AnnaMagnani · 23/08/2022 18:48

I'd try to get him to think it through:

He likes wearing skirts
No other boys wear skirts at school
Is it OK to go to school wearing whatever you want?
What will be the response of the other boys?
Has he always got on well with the other boys?
Does he like wearing skirts enough, for all that to be worth it?

If that is too much then he's 10, you are the adult - no skirts.

Meseekslookatme · 23/08/2022 18:48

Please talk him out of it, secondary school will be absolutely miserable for him otherwise

LaFemmeNicola · 23/08/2022 18:49

Suzy14837 · 23/08/2022 18:38

Check the school uniform policy.
If it's not allowed, but if he still wants to wear it, and you want to pursue it, then speak to the Head and if you don't get a satisfactory resolution there, then Chair of Govs.
If it is allowed, then let him. But I would still speak to the school first, to make sure they're on board with with and expecting it. Send him in trousers anyway until you've had a chance to discuss it with Head and his new class teacher.
He will get teased by his peers, I daresay, but not so much if the school has prepared the class.

If it’s against the rules then the school should no more “prepare” the class than they should prepare them for any other rule-breaking.

Marcipex · 23/08/2022 18:51

He will be mocked from the first minute on the premises. The bullies will be rubbing their hands with glee. His life will be a misery, no matter how many talks are given to his class.
You support him by saying no.

TheVolturi · 23/08/2022 18:51

My friends child is a boy and wears a skirt to school. School has been very supportive. I don't think they actually have a leg to stand on in stopping anyone these days.

ChandlersDad · 23/08/2022 18:51

Do kids care? There’s a lad at Dds school who always wears a skirt, he’s not trans or anything he just likes wearing a skirt but no one seems to care 🤷‍♀️