How can I support my son if he wants to wear a skirt to school?

[BarkhamBelle]

My 10yo son has decided he wants to wear skirts. I bought him one for at home, which he has barely taken off as he loves it. Now he has asked me to buy him a skirt for school for the new term. He says it's because he likes the way it looks and the way it feels. I am fully in support of him wearing whatever he is comfortable with, but I am so worried about him being teased or bullied at school (he's quite sensitive and we've had problems before with his friendships at school). How can we best support him? I feel really out of my depth and scared I will not handle this right, so looking for any advice or similar experiences please.... Thanks

I can't believe some of these answers. It's not the eighties and unless you live in the arse end of nowhere you might find that school children are way more progressive than these bigoted old farts on here. It seems a more and more common thing and I think don't make a big deal of it but just warn the teachers. The only thing to watch out for is making sure the teachers don't start calling him a girl because that's just stereotyping.

If he could handle it I would say just buy him a skirt and wave him off.

But if he's sensitive and has friendship issues, you need to prepare him for other children treating him differently. Are the other children in his school/ generally kind and accepting?

If he's desperate to wear a skirt I wouldn't say no, but would chat with the school first, rather than send him in on the first day of school wearing one, but it really does depend on his personality.

There was once the first girl wearing trousers, the first black child in a school (OK being black is a bad example as you don't chose your colour) etc. Some kids can handle being first at things better than others. If he can handle it, he should go for it.

What feels nice about wearing a skirt? Or looks nice? I'd definitely be looking at where this idea has come from. For better or worse, society has attached meaning to the way we present ourselves.

Skirts aren't practical for school either in the classroom or the playground - sitting cross legged, running about. I'd suggest shorts instead, if they are within uniform code.

Personally I would tell him school rules are boys can only wear shorts or trousers for the sake of him being bullied. Explain he can wear what he likes at home but school policy doesn't allow him too. You will se him up for a huge amount of mocking and bullying and it's completely unnecessary

Any teachers on here? From a parents end I hear from the kids that it's all fine, everyone's all friendly with difference now, or are schools actually still like the 80's/90's and it's a nightmare for these kids really?

Some kids can handle being first at things better than others. If he can handle it, he should go for it
The OP has already said that her son is sensitive and has friendship issues. How is wearing a skirt to school going to help him?

I do supply. I have experience of one transboy and one transgirl. Both wore trousers, both adopted unisex names and and ponytail/crop respectively, but neither wore a skirt. Yes, you have the occasional report of a boy channelling Billy Porter at prom... but nowhere in daily life have I seen uniform changes. Nor did the pupils swap across in sports. I am not saying schools would not make adjustments if asked, but have not come across it (yet). Although trans rights has been brought up by the kids before but so has vabbing ffs

Why are skirts for girls? There’s nothing about a vulva that makes a skirt more practical. The whole point of being gc is that wear and act how you like it doesn’t change you’re sex. We should be breaking down barriers like gendered clothing and if one sex can wear it so should the other

Exactly. As long as kids know they can’t change sex, gender is bullshit and everyone uses sex based toilets/changing facilities and do sport based on sex, all is good.

We should be breaking down barriers like gendered clothing and if one sex can wear it so should the other
I 100% agree with this but this post is about a 10 year old who is sensitive and perhaps not the boldest or most peer supported.

It's so strange as virtually none of the girls will think they like the way it looks or they like the way it feels.

Mmm. Very strange.

It's so strange as virtually none of the girls will think they like the way it looks or they like the way it feels.

They've never needed to express it as they can choose one. Boys don't have the choice, you can have opinions about that either way, but that's just a fact

I thought the Tavistock was being shut down following the Cass review?

No girl ever chose a school skirt over school trousers because "they love how the skirt looks and feels". It's a school uniform! Don't be disingenuous.

DS regularly wears dresses. Including to school. Entirely his choice. He's very confident with it. He had some people question it initially but he just used to respond with "I'm not a girl, I'm a boy in a dress" or "it's comfortable", very matter-of-fact and people just seemed to accept it.

Our school uniform is just a list of items and not split in to male/ female.

DS is not trans, or from what I can tell, gay (not that I'd have an issue with that, I'm bi). I'm largely considered a terf so I have no "agenda" with this.

Personally I feel that clothes being genderless would make things much easier, and reduce the pigeon-holing that causes some people to feel they are trans.

I wore a skirt to school because I liked how it looked and found them more comfortable than trousers. As a woman I wear more dresses than trousers because they look better on me.

My daughter only wants the skirt so far, not the trousers. She checks herself in the mirror and likes how it looks. I'm not being disingenuous.

It must be a whole different school uniform to any I've ever seen 😂

Sorry, I don't believe you.

And if you have issue with 'how it feels', this child is 10, stay on the subject.

What does this mean?

So an ASD child - I’m assuming that they’re female, but acknowledge they may be male - has decided as a teenager that they’re trans. One parent has gone along with this and socially transitioned them whilst the other has not agreed to the social transitioning. I’m also assuming that the parents aren’t together? I also know which parent I believe is being the most supportive of their child.

That would be a no from me. ALL my children wear trousers to school.

Well that's up to you. Makes no difference to me.