Re: DS is transgender ftm 16 and happy.

[crazyhat]

In reference to the suspended thread titled "DS is transgender ftm 16 and happy." I am the 16 year old, writing it from my mother's point of view, everything I said is true, and my mother and I stand by what I said. See, a few weeks ago she told me that when I first started transitioning, she came to mumsnet for help, and was met by people telling her to not endorse it, and other things that (with hindsight) are blatently transphobic. You are all free to your own opinions, I can't stop that. But I genuinely can't describe the feeling I have towards my body, it's such an extreme disconnect, and I know that transitioning is genuinely the only solution. I am very greatful that my parents support me, unlike many parents, evidently are on here. I'm sorry to anyone who feels decieved, but I was genuinely just doing it to have a sense of understanding of what my parents generation think, and to be brutally honest, it was borderline concerning. I feel sorry for people who's have to hear "advice" from some of you. However I, and my situation, is very much real.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lgbt_children/3732775-DS-is-transgender-ftm-16-and-happy

There is a lot of ignorance on here. I think if you haven't experienced it personally or had experience of a family or friend going through it you don't understand.

100% agree.

@justabadwife thank you for sharing you personal experience! It is difficult to explain that "feeling" but it is much more than a feeling.

Testosterone is a mood enhancing hormone, anyone taking it feels pretty good

I came on to say this too

I have a son who thinks he's a girl but does very little about it ( see my threads on LGBT children)
@crazyhat Do you think his lack of action means anything? What is your experience with trans friends?
He says he's waiting until he's 18 as I'm transphobic

I'm not transphobic. There is a difference in thinking something is not right ( especially in an individual circumstance) and being prejudiced or phobic.

16 is painfully young to make lifelong decision.

My sister would have been ripe for this as a girl and young woman - absolutely classic behaviour that would have certain groups salivating.

No way would this have been the right path for her and it wasn’t something that was so mainstream as it is now. Would she have taken the opportunity to ‘be a boy’? Hell yes. She is very aware of this as an adult (gay) woman now. She is happy with who she is and voluntarily wore a dress for the first time in - my god 35 years - recently. She is comfortable in her skin, mind and life.

We worry about taking medication when pregnant and giving anything to small children.

Let your kid be what they are - don’t let anyone tell them that they need to modify their body to be happy/authentic/me... (which won’t function as ‘new and improved’).

Learn to be happy in a way that doesn’t line others pockets.

OP people are ignorant of what they’ve never experienced themselves. They try to empathise and understand and all they can come up with us shades of what they might have felt (tomboy, feeling out of sorts as a teen etc) and it’s NOT what you are experiencing. But it makes people want to reason with you.

Well done for standing up in the face of such opposition and people trying to tell you what you are ‘actually’ experiencing. Your life is your own and being gay, straight or transgender is a personal matter that should not even be noticed or commented on by others.

@starfishsunrise i do find it very odd when people directly choose not to transition. Particularly people like Sam Smith... Done nothing to demonstrate he's nb. However, if you suggest to these people that they need to physically transition to be seen as what they ID as, then they may physically transition and make a mistake. So to some extent it is better for them to just do nothing but have people call them what they want.

There’s an incredible amount of knowledge and on here from posters with trans family members and others who work mental health and other healthcare professions.

But the OP doesn’t want advice, they want people to validate the irreversible choices they say they’re making as a child. Not having those choices validated in the deleted thread is what seems to be the reason for the OP making another thread on exactly the same thing, but without the lying.

Please be careful. The prefrontal cortex, that the part of your brain, which is responsible for personality expression, decision making and a bunch of other stuff is only half formed at 18. It doesn’t fully form until approximately 25.

What this means is that you don’t have the ability to make such long term decisions with absolute certainty because your body doesn’t allow it. This isn’t a feeling or an opinion. It’s a scientific fact.

Therefore the you of tomorrow may yet be detransitioned statistic. You absolutely cannot know that for sure because you cannot reason this through.

I would just like to talk about personality expression and decision making I highlighted. Personality expression the feeling like a man is part of that. Decision making is you deciding to have top surgery and so on.

I totally stand in solidarity for your desire to present as male. But I cannot sit be silent as you mutilate your body before your brain is ready to understand the long term implications of doing this. Please feel free to live as a man but leave your body alone for when you’re a fully fledged adult and can reason this all through properly.

No I disagree that people are ‘ignorant’. To offer an alternative POV is not being ignorant/bigoted/stupid or ‘phobic. Just saying ‘yes you are right’ isn’t helpful. This is a Talk thread after all.

@familyofaliens I don't want advice or knowledge because I have both. I'm going to transition (and already have) no matter what people on here say, i just want to share my experience and knowledge, but people like you don't even want it?

If being a gender is based on a feeling, why the need to physically transition?

I know that you said that you haven't been diagnosed with asd but that doesn't necessarily mean that you don't have it. A lot of autistic girls get missed because we often present differently to boys who are autistic. Also girls generally mask better due to social pressure. Your fixation on your body is similar to what I had when I was a teenager but mine was focussed on my breasts as they are small. I absolutely hated them and was desperate to have surgery to make them bigger but didn't have the money to do it luckily. I'm now in my late 30's and am soon due to have an assessment on the NHS for asd. Please give yourself time to grow up, you're so young.

@cheeseplant because it's based of something (its not a feeling but that's the easiest way to explain it) and that feeling makes me believe my body should be male. Socially transitioning would not be enough.

Happyspud it’s incredibly presumptious for you to deny what other people have or haven’t experienced. Speak for yourself, but not for me or anyone else, thanks.

I completely agree with MummyofLittleDragon and worry adults are ignoring this and encouraging the op to take life changing surgery

It is not about ignorance, op present as male by all means but pp consider you are talking to a child

I just want to share my experience and knowledge, but people like you don't even want it?

If you just want to share your experience and knowledge, why are you getting so annoyed with people who don’t agree with you and telling them to “get off the thread”?

You keep suggesting an assumption that our minds should have a kind of innate, felt sense of our bodies. What gives you that impression?

At 16 my sister (as was the fashion in her year) was experimenting with self harm and wrist cutting. It was all drama at that age.

With respect - at 16 you know bugger all.

Let me start by saying I have a trans friend MtF who made the decision in the days before there was the support, before LGBTQ, before it was fashionable for children to want to trans as they need to feel special, back in the day when violence & discrimination was used due to straight folks ignorance. Making a decision to transition at 16 yrs old based on a "feeling" is crazy, you're not old enough or mature enough to make a life changing decision. You have shown your level of maturity when you told @FamilyOfAliens to get off this thread. Why did therapy not work for you? I suspect because the therapist wasnt agreeing with you and telling you what you wanted to hear. You want people to understand but you cant articulate your situation, this could be due to your age & lack of maturity maybe? I feel sorry for you, I think someone (an adult) should be stepping in and parenting you. Transitioning used to be a long process involving therapy, hormones, surgery and a whole lot of heartache, now 16 year old girls are given testosterone based on a feeling its terrifying

You are 16 years old. You state that you are absolutely sure you haven’t made a mistake. How do you know that the certainty you feel now will be unchanged in five years? Or ten years? Doing something irrevocable to your body at the age of 16? Are you really unable to see why that might not be the best idea?

I wish you luck and happiness.

From our point of view we are looking at this from a universal point of view rather than individual case by case view.
I worry about future fertility and future mental health.

I am also concerned as to why the increase of young females wanting to transition to males has risen by 4000%. That is almkst pandemic and must tell us something about societal or adolscent issues.