Re: DS is transgender ftm 16 and happy.

[crazyhat]

In reference to the suspended thread titled "DS is transgender ftm 16 and happy." I am the 16 year old, writing it from my mother's point of view, everything I said is true, and my mother and I stand by what I said. See, a few weeks ago she told me that when I first started transitioning, she came to mumsnet for help, and was met by people telling her to not endorse it, and other things that (with hindsight) are blatently transphobic. You are all free to your own opinions, I can't stop that. But I genuinely can't describe the feeling I have towards my body, it's such an extreme disconnect, and I know that transitioning is genuinely the only solution. I am very greatful that my parents support me, unlike many parents, evidently are on here. I'm sorry to anyone who feels decieved, but I was genuinely just doing it to have a sense of understanding of what my parents generation think, and to be brutally honest, it was borderline concerning. I feel sorry for people who's have to hear "advice" from some of you. However I, and my situation, is very much real.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lgbt_children/3732775-DS-is-transgender-ftm-16-and-happy

Hi crazy hat. That sounds so difficult to deal with. My concerns about the "solutions" is that they're so permanent and brutal, coupled with the fact our brains aren't adult until 28 ish. But I defer to the medical profession and empathise with the struggle you describe.

How was the relationship between your parents?

@multiplemum3 I know I won't grow out of it because I haven't. There are some people that start Testosterone and realise it was wrong, they then wouldn't persue surgery. Testosterone has given me a life I never thought I would have and it made me so much better, that it's definitely right.

Sex can't be defined as an inner sense if it isn't experienced by ALL males or ALL females.

Do you presume to know that ALL males feel the same, then that you know what this inner sense feels like and then further presume that this is the same as what you feel?

What forever said. And frankly the fact that you’re posting on MN seems to me like someone having a niggling doubt about what they’re doing and hoping that some contrary replies buck them up. Your body your choice, but the best thing you can do is wait and seek longer-term counselling in the meantime.

Sorry, but your generation is not some kind of enlightened new breed: of course some of us felt similar, how ridiculous to claim not. The difference is though, that we had no internet, no forums telling us we were trans.

We just had to get through those few awful years, mostly with a few scars to show for it but as the women we always were meant to be.

@puremagic is was always good up until I came out, then it was a bit rocky for a period of time. However after about a year it improved and I'm greatful for the support from my parents.

But you're still a child so you could still grow out of it, your brain isn't even fully formed. You're not even old enough to get a tattoo but believe it's logical to mutilate your body, and expect people to support that?

@essentialhummous ive had counseling, with someone who wasn't biased and then with a gender therapist, it got me no where happier, in a way that testosterone did. It's not an issue with how I see my body, but rather how my body actually is. I don't just need to love myself more.

That's good to hear. I hope you're all getting the support you need. I'm concerned when I hear about domestic violence in the background when children identify as trans gender. Also if I may ask- are you a child with asd?

Crazy, your youthfulness shines through -as indeed it should given you are still a child of sixteen.

It means you probably don't see how much of the concern comes from compassion and fear that responsible adults aren't acting responsibly for you.

We were all sixteen once too. We all thought our minds were fixed on what we knew then. Most of us got off lightly with no permanent consequences which is why we are so concerned at these radical, permanent options you are considering.

We won't just "get off" the threads because you don't like that. You obviously want to talk so let's talk. Except this time the adults will try to play the responsible part that you should have received before now.

Please check out the reddit detrans sub.

I wish you a good future, crazyhats dc. I am particularly glad you have found a way to improve your depression which is such a tough illness.

I hated my body, I hated myself, I hated how I was treated by everyone being female, I felt just very wrong, I didn’t fit in to how I was supposed to be. Twenty years ago the current ideas about gender were not prevalent, but had they been I 100% know that they would have made absolute sense in explaining how I felt. It would have affirmed me - there was something wrong, not with me, but with my body! And if I changed it, my problems would be solved!

Guess what, they wouldn’t have. The problem wasn’t my body. It was that it is shit being female in our society and I had internalised that misogyny from the day I was born.

@puremagic there is no domestic violence, and never has been. I am not diagnosed with any disorders, apart from GD, of course.

@foreverfaff i have seen the Reddit detransition stuff, and many other videos and topics of people. However I don't believe I'm the same as them. Some people make mistakes but that doesn't mean all do. That is why I would never encourage someone to transition, as many do it due to another disorder, however I, my parents, and professionals know what is right for me.

The problem wasn’t my body. It was that it is shit being female in our society and I had internalised that misogyny from the day I was born.

This, in spades. Many of us have been there. Your generation us not unique.

ive had counseling, with someone who wasn't biased and then with a gender therapist, it got me no where

You’re 16. How long was this therapy, exactly? Time is the missing ingredient here - it’s not about “loving yourself more”, it’s about reaching a mature understanding of yourself and your situation, and being able to reflect on your feelings and experiences. And that can’t happen at 16.

Thanks @crazyhat, that's interesting. So the inner sense you have is of a masculine person? Could you tell us a bit about that please?

I am a woman. I am also WineIsMyCarb. So my inner sense is someone who likes wine (haha!), is loyal, enjoys working in business, feels strongly I need a lot of chocolate, does Crossfit on-off, enjoys written cards and letters. That is my inner sense of who I am. I wouldn't say it wasn't either masculine or feminine.
Could you tell me how you feel your inner sense is masculine?

Thanks for your replies, to this and other posts.

I have a friend - born in a male body but knows that she is a woman. She was 16 when she opened up about this to family and friends. I was fully accepting of this and still am fully accepting of this. Ten years later and she still feels the same.

At 16, you are a young adult. You are old enough to know whether you are really a man. Good on you, lad, for staying true to tourself throughout all this.

There is a lot of ignorance on here. I think if you haven't experienced it personally or had experience of a family or friend going through it you don't understand.

Did you know that there are clinical trials to investigate the addition of testosterone to anti depressants given to women as there is an indication that this will help elleviate and work better? Could that be the reason why T has benefitted you so much? And the idea that you are finally being able to 'fix' yourself?

Sorry, fix sounds brutal but that is the sentiment I read in your posts.

Just be realistic about what transition can do. You will never be the same as a born man. Androphillic people generally want real men with men's bodies. Do you have realistic expectations of transition?

Won't you wait before surgery? Once it's done, its done. These are your exam years at school.
Perhaps focus on mental strength. Tell yourself as long as you are kind and try hard in life then you - AS YOU are enough. Force yourself to cut out any other factors. Aim for getting brilliant school grades that will help you earn enough to buy a lovely home.
Once you've done all your exams, then let yourself reassess the situation. This is time to make sure you are ready to support yourself in life.