Re: DS is transgender ftm 16 and happy.

[crazyhat]

In reference to the suspended thread titled "DS is transgender ftm 16 and happy." I am the 16 year old, writing it from my mother's point of view, everything I said is true, and my mother and I stand by what I said. See, a few weeks ago she told me that when I first started transitioning, she came to mumsnet for help, and was met by people telling her to not endorse it, and other things that (with hindsight) are blatently transphobic. You are all free to your own opinions, I can't stop that. But I genuinely can't describe the feeling I have towards my body, it's such an extreme disconnect, and I know that transitioning is genuinely the only solution. I am very greatful that my parents support me, unlike many parents, evidently are on here. I'm sorry to anyone who feels decieved, but I was genuinely just doing it to have a sense of understanding of what my parents generation think, and to be brutally honest, it was borderline concerning. I feel sorry for people who's have to hear "advice" from some of you. However I, and my situation, is very much real.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lgbt_children/3732775-DS-is-transgender-ftm-16-and-happy

@littlemedow123 thank you so much for your kind words, for every detransitioner that is mentioned in this forum, there are many more who don't regret is, whatever their age.

There is a lot of ignorance on here. I think if you haven't experienced it personally or had experience of a family or friend going through it you don't understand.

Have you experienced it personally, @Littlemeadow123?

I've always considered my body to be an inconvenient meat-suit that my consciousness uses to parade this earth. It's not 'me', human bodies have an entire cell change over every 7 years or so, we are literally not the same people we were 7 years ago.
We really, honestly understand the way you feel. Being a 16 year old woman is just. so. shit.

But it is what it is. You can't be a man, and I'm so sorry, but that's just the way it's got to be.

I genuinely still don't understand this inner sense of one gender or another tbh. I don't feel like either. I guess that would make me 'non binary' in modern parlance 🙄

Honestly, you need to be given time and space, not be allowed to make irreversible decisions when you are still a child in so many ways.

You are not old enough to even vote yet, you are a child still. Someone has seriously let you down allowing you to have T at your age.

@themutts i started Testosterone in March of this year, then having gcses throughout may and June, testosterone and transitioning genuinely improved my grades as I was in a much better mental state, and I was very happy with them.

I’d support you in many ways but I’d not want you to do the surgery.

A double mastectomy / top surgery is a permanent huge thing. Would you wait at least until your teenage mind has stopped forming and you are an adult. About 25 I believe from studies.

@foreverfaff well I can't be a women either, if I did detransition, I would be seen as a trans women, as my voice is low and physique male. So although I can never be a man, which I'm aware of, thanks, I can also never fully be a woman either.

To the poster earlier - No I'm absolutely devastated at the idea that this healthy female person is going to have a double mastectomy at 17 and that this genuinely happens in the UK. I think its barbaric and extraordinary and I hope very much that their views change before the surgery goes ahead.

But I'm also happy that they aren't depressed any more and i hope that helps them feel better about the body they have.

Crazyhats dc, would you consider stopping binding for now? It sounds so bad for you and if you're going to have such devastating surgery I think your body should be in the best condition possible?

transitioning genuinely improved my grades

How can you possibly know that?

You don't have to be 'fully' anything. You can just be you.

Crazyhat
It would be unwise of you to assume that some of the women on here don't understand how you feel. You say we don't understand that how you feel is different, but that's making the assumption that what you feel is unique, and it really isn't.
Many of us felt like you, it grew up alongside friends and relatives who in this generation would almost certainly consider that being trans was a solution. But, because we are older have also seen these feelings resolve over time and for them to accept and be happy with their physical bodies.
Testosterone is a mood enhancing hormone, anyone taking it feels pretty good. Don't take that as confirmation or validation of your choices. It's just chemical.

well I can't be a women either, if I did detransition, I would be seen as a trans women, as my voice is low and physique male

No, a trans woman is a biological male.

And you have breasts, so your physique isn’t male.

@temporarypermanent thank you for your respect! Yes, I have decreased the amount of time binding, when I first started, it was genuinely about 18 hours a day, and a really low quality one. However, I have since found a very good sports bra that I feel okay to wear when wearing hoodies, particularly as my chest isn't too large. I only bind when wearing t shirt, which, given the British weather, isn't often 😂

@beamur yes although that may be true, a "cis" women would not be happy with the LT effects of Testosterone, for example low voice and facial hair.

Just to be clear about your voice - for others reading, if not for you. As you know, your larynx has remained the same size, but the hormones you are taking have enlarged your vocal cords, deepening your voice. I dont see any reason why your voice wouldnt change again if you did detransition, though some speech therapy might be helpful.

I went into pretty much the manliest profession I could think of. Hid my periods from my mum for years. Had only male or tomboys as mates.
Took huge risks to prove to myself that I wasn't feminine and scared.
Please consider the possibility that we DO understand.

Testosterone as mood enhancing is a great point.

Irreversible surgery won’t be. I think you are being badly guided by the adults around you.

@FamilyOfAliens

As I said in my post, if you haven't experienced it personally OR if you haven't had friends or family that have experienced it then you won't understand it.

I spent the first paragraph explaining about my friend being transgender. She was 16 when she first told me. And yes, I didn't fully understand it at the time but I still supported her 100%. It didn't take very long at all however to realise that the person I thought of as a brother was actually my sister. (He is a man who identifies as a woman)

How do you have a male physique?

Could you have a look at my reply please @crazyhat? I've invested some personal detail in that as a means of reaching out to you, so would really appreciate if you could consider it. Thanks

Thank you for explaining that you haven’t experienced it personally, @Littlemeadow123.

When I was about 8 I couldn't get my head around the fact that I was going to grow up to be a woman and not a man. All the people I admired were men. I genuinely felt inside as though I must be male. When I grew up (into a very feminine looking woman) I realised that we live in a world where all you see in the movies is men having great adventures and being cool and women being weak and silly...
A light bulb went on!
Anyway, op it's your body and you must do what you feel is best but please wait to be 18-it's not such a long time?
Also, whatever you do you know you can never have a mans body, penis etc? I think that would be a difficult thing to live with.

@temporypemanent when starting Testosterone i was informed that voice depending is a permanent change, I have never read otherwise. Also I actually do have quite a large Adams apple! It's not the same for all trans men but that's how it's worked out for me

@crazyhat
The person I married is transgender, MtF and talks about all this internal feeling. You just know its wrong but cant overly explain it.
I am so glad that people are now allowed to be who they truly are.
Yes I've lost my husband, in such that 'he' doesnt exist anymore, but the person she is now is amazing.
Good luck with everything :)