My ex will not return my son

[Sunrisesmile]

My ex and I have a son, we both have parental responsibility and my ex has him every weekend, a couple of weeks ago I dropped my son off at his dad's on Friday evening as usual and went away on holiday without him agreeing to have our son for me to go away, I texted him the following day to let him know I was on holiday and would not be returning to the following week now he will not return my son, where do I stand

It’s a reverse, read the OP’s posts.

I find reverses say more about the OP than anything. Unethical, dishonest, sneaky, manipulative.

Sorry, no sympathy.

It’s because it’s the man, go on, admit it.

It is annoying, especially when it’s so overt because the OP is so blatantly unreasonable.

But taking you at your word, you need to go to court. You’ll need all the evidence you can get of times, dates ect. Any times your son has missed school or activities or had his routine disrupted otherwise been harmed because of your ex’s actions. The inconvenience to you is not relevant, so focus on what is best for your son.

Good luck

We did work together but she asks unreasonable requests during the week knowing I'm at work and because I have to say no she gets nasty. She doesn't work but expects me to get time off work to pick him up from school so she can stay out with her friends or have an extended weekend, this is happening weekly, this is not a one off occurrence

WTF did you expect.

OP, there was no need for it to be a reverse. That's removed most credibility IMO

Is this some sort of wind up?

You fucked off on holiday abandoned your son. Now you want him back. I don't blame the ex for not giving him back.

Totally understand why you wanted to start with a reverse.

You sounds like an amazing dad. And your ex sounds like a very selfish and immature individual. Your son needs protecting from such an unstable life. How can a child expect their parent to be there for them when you can’t even stick to a basic schedule.

I don’t know how the legal process works but please do try to take your son full time to give him a stable home.

I am not annoyed by the reverse - it was quite obvious from the start, so ludicrous was the premise.

You need to get cracking and do this legally. Your ex sounds like a proper wastrel and unfit for motherhood. I'm thinking about the Sunday parties, as well as the unscheduled holiday - a holiday from what, if you don't have a job??? No one, but no one is going to see that as essential. But you absolutely must get the courts to agree. It is essential, even if you think she will eventually give up. She sounds thoroughly unreliable and could just turn up on your doorstep at a future point if you don't get it all done and dusted.

It is hopefully a shortish burst of pain all round for the right outcome. Thank Goodness there is one decent parent, the poor mite.

Please read the OP's updates

OP is the dad, it is the mother of his child that went away on holiday with no warning at all.

If the facts are correct I believe OP/dad is the one that should have his child to give him/her stability.

It's a highly dishonest reverse (quite obviously so even before you admitted it) so I don't trust your account at all. I don't know why you didn't just tell us the truth at the start. Either you value the responses in which case be honest, or you don't, in which case you shouldn't ask. There's no point in asking us what we think if you have to lie about the account before you'll give any value to what we think.

I would go to court and get a court order so he can live with you permanently. She's too chaotic and unreliable to be a good mother.

I think you’re right to go to court.

They’ll decide in the child’s best interests and if what you type here and the end of the linked thread is true you stand a good chance of being awarded resident parent status.

As long as you’re doing it for your child’s stability.

If I posted this as a dad you would not of had a problem with her doing what she has done and if it was the other way round I'd be a dead beat dad, I want honest opinions from honest people, thank you for your time

You make presumptions about posters so your solution is to lie to them? You have no idea what we would have said if you'd been honest from the beginning. You expect honesty but won't reciprocate in kind. My honest opinion still stands: that reverses make the OP look dishonest, manipulative and unethical.

Honest opinions from honest people, when you lie about who's speaking and whose account it is?

If you think we are so sexist and misandristic that we have nothing to contribute, then why would you suddenly value our views if you lie to us?

Your entire account is now totally unreliable. We don't know what your ex's side of the story is although you presumed to speak for her. Either tell us the truth as you see it, so we can take into account that we haven't heard from your ex when we form a response, or just don't ask us at all.

On the surface she seems unreasonable but I'd like to know mums side of the story.

She’s a testable mother and the child doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. You are doing the right thinking op.

The reverse is annoying but I will get over that.

This isn't the same as "abandoning" a child. The mum knew the child was safe and well cared for with the dad. It's still very shitty behaviour from her but it's more about manipulative abuse of her ex partner.

The dad should absolutely get a court order for full residency with him, and structured contact times with mum - which she will still be flakey about. However, it is sensible for the parent who has more stability in their life to be the primarily resident parent, regardless of which parent that is, if there are no other overiding factors.

However flakey and unreliable she is, she's still the child's mum. Your actions need to be based around the best interests of the child. The child needs regular contact with mum, the bond of love between mother and child is still important even when mum is chaotic. Base your decisions around what the child needs rather than your own convenience, and you will be OK. It certainly is not in a child's best interest to have their main-resident parent disappear at no notice like that, so I think the courts are likely to grant your application.

FWIW the original structure of the child being with dad every weekend was a bad idea from the start. Both parents need a balance of weekday time and weekend time with the child

Thank you all for your responses good and bad, I did what I did cause all I read previously was lots of people bashing dad's, I have been honest with all information as hard as that is to believe and the only people I have anything to prove to will be the courts and I have all the messages printed to submit

If what you say is true, then hire a PI, get evidence and go for full custody.
Then put your current CM money into reliable childcare to give your child stability.

And re your ex, she is a div but then you already know that!
Being the childs mother doesn't excuse the bad behaviour.

So you abandoned your child ? I wouldn't let you have him back either!