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Original poster

My ex will not return my son

232 replies

Sunrisesmile · 14/08/2025 14:54

My ex and I have a son, we both have parental responsibility and my ex has him every weekend, a couple of weeks ago I dropped my son off at his dad's on Friday evening as usual and went away on holiday without him agreeing to have our son for me to go away, I texted him the following day to let him know I was on holiday and would not be returning to the following week now he will not return my son, where do I stand

OP posts:
glittereyelash · 14/08/2025 15:20

Really terrible thing to do why didn't you ask him? My brother had similar happen to him and nearly lost his job over it. You need to organise appropriate childcare. You cant just dump your child off for a week with no prior arrangement.

HornyHornersPinger · 14/08/2025 15:21

This is a joke, right???

CatchHimDerry · 14/08/2025 15:24

What is wrong with you OP, hope he doesn’t give them back to be honest. Shame on you

DottieMoon · 14/08/2025 15:30

What an idiot you are. I don't blame your ex.

pinkyredrose · 14/08/2025 15:31

Really? You really did that?

kimbear87 · 14/08/2025 15:37

You sound like a terrible person were a bit inconsiderate to be honest.

HereWeComeAtLast · 14/08/2025 15:38

If I was your ex I wouldn't return the child either.

ThejoyofNC · 14/08/2025 15:41

This is shocking. Why would he return him after that?

Original poster
Sunrisesmile · 14/08/2025 15:45

No this is not a joke, I am the father writing this, wanted to know from other women their views, I am not a part time dad, I work for a living, pay for my son and have him every weekend, he is my world. Yes she really did this and not for the first time, very often on a Sunday she will text me, at a party, you'll have to get him to school, making me late for work in the morning, she doesn't work. I have asked her previous on a number of occasions, to have him live with me, for routine for both me and my son as I have family that will support with childcare for me to continue to work but she won't for benefit reasons. This is the last straw for me I am now keeping him and getting a court order.

OP posts:
Ratafia · 14/08/2025 15:50

Apart from the annoying reverse, I think you've definitely made the right decision about going for a court order. Your ex has played straight into your hands by abandoning her child.

CatchTheWind1920 · 14/08/2025 15:52

Ratafia · 14/08/2025 15:50

Apart from the annoying reverse, I think you've definitely made the right decision about going for a court order. Your ex has played straight into your hands by abandoning her child.

Agreed

Original poster
Sunrisesmile · 14/08/2025 15:58

Sorry to annoy anyone about the reverse but I am at my wits end, all I hear is about dead beat dad's not dead beat mothers. I just want stability for my son

OP posts:
AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 14/08/2025 15:59

Eyepoint · 14/08/2025 15:15

From the previous thread copied above.

Show quote history

The OP only posted once on that thread and didn’t mention the child’s age.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 14/08/2025 16:01

Sunrisesmile · 14/08/2025 15:45

No this is not a joke, I am the father writing this, wanted to know from other women their views, I am not a part time dad, I work for a living, pay for my son and have him every weekend, he is my world. Yes she really did this and not for the first time, very often on a Sunday she will text me, at a party, you'll have to get him to school, making me late for work in the morning, she doesn't work. I have asked her previous on a number of occasions, to have him live with me, for routine for both me and my son as I have family that will support with childcare for me to continue to work but she won't for benefit reasons. This is the last straw for me I am now keeping him and getting a court order.

Good for you. Hope it goes your way.

Starlight1984 · 14/08/2025 16:03

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 14/08/2025 16:01

Good for you. Hope it goes your way.

Show quote history

Ditto.

GonnaeNoDaeThatJustGonnaeNo · 14/08/2025 16:04

She would need to go to court to get him back.

you should go to court first.

good luck she sounds awful.

LBFseBrom · 14/08/2025 16:05

Yamyamabroad · 14/08/2025 14:58

So you dropped him off at his dad's for a normal weekend visit, then buggered off on holiday texting to let him know he needed to keep him for the week with no warning? I hope I'm reading this wrong

I don't blame you for being pissed off. Good luck.

glittereyelash · 14/08/2025 16:05

Best of luck. As I mentioned I had a brother who had a situation that began in a similar way. It escalated over time and he has full custody of his children now.

Nextweektoo · 14/08/2025 16:11

Just make an application to the Courts for CAO but if I were a judge I would take deem view on how you handled that.

Cilliana · 14/08/2025 16:13

I have asked her previous on a number of occasions, to have him live with me…as I have family that will support with childcare for me to continue to work but she won't for benefit reasons.

If your family are going to support with childcare make absolutely sure they are truly okay with this! Routine childcare is very different to occasional or weekend childcare and grannies are too often left holding the baby.
Sometimes family members can find it hard to say no when they know you’re stuck, even when they’re not really able/entirely happy with the amount of work involved. Just make sure you’re not making assumptions or unintentionally emotionally manipulating them. It can be very hard to say no when you love someone and their child.

Just something to consider.

BeMellowAquaSquid · 14/08/2025 16:13

I hope it goes your way but I can’t help thinking this would have been a different case could you and your ex partner work together to co-parent and realise that you BOTH need a break and/or holiday. Before you go in all guns blazing for full custody work together to realise the impact this has on all of you. If your ex partner really just wants to keep your child full time because of the financial benefits then shame on her.

LargelyBusiness · 14/08/2025 16:14

My ex will not return my son

You mean ‘our son’.

This child has two parents. (fortunately it seems)

lifeonmars100 · 14/08/2025 16:18

Try just for a little while to imagine how this must have felt for your child. You drop him off at his dad's and then bugger off without any warning or explanation that you are not returning at the usual collection time. He must have felt very confused and abandoned wondering where you were and probably thinking that it could be his fault that you had cleared off without tellling him why. Children get stressed when the other parent is late to collect them let alone when they don't even turn up.

3awesomestars · 14/08/2025 16:21

If he refuses to return your son and has parental responsibility then you have to make an application to family court and they will complete an assessment of the situation to decide what is best for everyone but especially your child. Going on holiday without prior arrangement will need to be explored in depth as part of the assessment - that’s not in the best interests of or prioritising your child’s needs. You don’t say how old he is to gauge this better. Obviously there will be some context which may make this not as bad as it sounds.
if there are significant safeguarding issues around dad then that’s different but assuming there are not if you left your son there.

lifeonmars100 · 14/08/2025 16:22

Just seen that it is a reverse, my comments on the child's feelings still stand of course. Poor thing, they must feel confused and I hope they get the stable home they deserve

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