Anonymous funky pigeon card

[Spuggz]

I’ve received a really horrible card from this company but it has no details of who sent it, it’s the second card sent because the wife of my friend received one in the same subject with my contact details on it? Is it a police matter? What can I do?

I work closely with men including lots of overnight travel, communication outside of work hours, trips abroad together etc. In my experience, it's a good idea to meet the wife if you can. Show you're no threat.

Until now, his wife being the culprit never crossed my mind, yet all this time I've been more concerned about the card she got because it's blowing up his marriage than I have about the one I received! I'm a big girl, I don't particularly care what people think of me as long as I know I've been true myself.

So you think she sent that to herself?

I understand what you're saying but I've no interest in our personal lives crossing over. In all I don't really want all his family etc knowing the ins and outs of my private life. Apart from this situation, there's never been anything between us for there to be any reason for this to happen.

Do you think he is attracted to you at all?

It's certainly given me food for thought that it could be his wife,

Possibly, in another lifetime we may of been a couple but those lines can't be blurred. We respect each other too much.

This sounds like more like spunky pigeon.com

A tenner on it being his wife.

Eh?! 🤔

😂😂

That was my thought. Maybe the wife is jealous of your working relationship and suspects an affair? So she has sent them herself. One to you and one to herself making her look like a victim? Trying to see how you both react. 🤔Or maybe I am just way too suspicious of people 😂

We've never discussed being attracted to each other, because he's married but we have a lot of shared interests and our outlook on life itself is very similar, so maybe we could of been a good match but it's a line he's never crossed and I never would,

@Spuggz do you spend a lot of time in contact with him? Messaging about non work stuff etc? Could it be perceived as an emotional affair?

I don’t think the updates about how you could have been good together are helping OP. I was leaning on the side of it being the wife…now I think it’s you! 🧐😁

EDIT: missed a word.

Well I asked about the attraction as I was wondering if it was him!

And did the wife definitely receive a card?

I ask because a friend and I worked out some weird texts she was having which appeared to be an ex-gf of her partner was actually him all along.

Probably unlikely but the whole thing is weird so you never know!

If FP won't give you the details, can they at least stop allowing that person to send you a card? Like flag your address or something and not allow cards to be sent?

100% not me! 😂😂

I just mean that we could possibly be compatible, I've never given much thought about it, it's not that we are or that we would ever act on anything, he's a really loving husband and he loves the life he has with his wife/kids etc,

We do talk a lot and not always about business, surely that can't be seen as a basis of having an affair?

I'm not a suspicious person, following this thread it seems I'm bloody more naive than anything else! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Not unless there's been more than 1 instance of communication,

Could it be your ex deciding to stir things for you?

Unless you’ve opted out of the public side of the electoral register, it’s pretty easy to find your address for a small fee

I know I know! Just being silly here.

Could it be the ex with whom things fell apart five years after you met this man?

I does sound rather like you are quite close - closer than a normal working relationship.

I also think that you stating things might be different if he wasn't married is a bit of a red flag for emotional entanglement.

Nice sentiment, but not so easily done. Some years ago, I worked with a man (I am female, he was my boss) and we got on famously at work and made a very good team. I was very happily married (25 years later, I am now a widow, and sadly he died about 20 years ago), and my husband liked my boss very much, trusted me and him, and had no problem whatsoever with how much time I had to spend with him for work. Our particular job necessitated us going to Belgium for a couple of days regularly and the hours in the uk office weren’t set in stone so I could often be late home. I think it’s fair to say we were really good friends, but there was never anything else going on. Unfortunately, his wife wasn’t as wise or trusting as my husband and absolutely loathed me! At staff functions she took great delight in making snide remarks which others relayed to me. She was convinced we were having an affair. If we had been, it would have been more like incest as we were more like brother and sister. We had the same values and beliefs and both loved a particular TV soap which we argued about on the way to work! One of the things I liked about my boss was that he never ran his wife down. None of this ‘my wife doesn’t understand me’ rubbish. We only mentioned our other halves in passing, and where relevant, eg. ‘X bought me a lovely gift last night’, or ‘X and I went out for a meal at such and such’. It was a very safe and relaxing work situation.
It is completely possible to work closely with someone of the opposite sex although I appreciate it is rare. We treasured the friendship we shared and both regretted the fact that his wife’s jealousy/mistrust meant we could never socialise as a foursome. The silly woman didn’t know what she was missing!

My ex is well off the scene, married someone 18 months after we split, no love lost there!

I can see what you mean about emotional entanglement, but it's not like we lean on each other for personal support with anything, he's not my go to if I have a problem etc