Anonymous funky pigeon card

[Spuggz]

I’ve received a really horrible card from this company but it has no details of who sent it, it’s the second card sent because the wife of my friend received one in the same subject with my contact details on it? Is it a police matter? What can I do?

I would suspect that the card was sent by her... she's testing yours, and his, reaction...

This is one of those times that reading back what you have written and remembering your audience knows nothing, so you need to explain more than you think, would really help!

You are a female, who works with an older man who lives with his wife, a long way away from you. Someone has sent you a Funky Pigeon card saying you and this man are having an affair. A card saying the same thing has also been sent to the man's wife, who you have never met. Is all of this right?

Yes, that's completely right ( definitely clearer than how I've put it )

I deal with everything behind the scenes and he puts up the finances for it. It's not a company as such it's a management team. My address is on nothing, my phone number is easy enough to find but no other personal details ( I believed )

This, goodness it’s taken over a page to explain what’s going on.

It’s a very odd situation. I’d be looking at the company as there must be your address in the records somewhere.

My money is on his wife having sent both cards. She has her suspicions and is forcing the issue.

For how many years have you and he known each other and been working together, and how many other people would know that information?

Wild stab in the dark time... You do realise that he may actually be having an affair with somebody else, don't you, and whoever has sent the card may be his affair partner who wants to split him and his wife up, but wants to get you to take the blame for it instead of them. Or somebody else is warning his wife about the affair and they mistakenly believe that you are the OW.

Must be someone who knows you both reasonably well. Both addresses,did you say your phone number?
May well be his wife. Or someone at work stirring.

In general I would agree but she's also some 6/7 years older than him, it just ( in his opinion) not something she would even contemplate doing. It's obviously a woman, nothing about it screams male to me.

There's only 2 people in the management team so it's definitely not from there.

Never even thought of that tbh. In all he doesn't really seem the person to have an affair, we talk all the time and when he's away on business I'm there as well?

You know he isn't having an affair with you. Is he having an affair with someone else?

I can see someone thinking there maybe something between us because we are close, but it's that sort of situation where a man and woman can't be friends unless there's something going on!

The unnecessary details you keep giving without being asked are a tad odd OP...

You say that you and this man aren't having an affair, did you in the past?

I think something I would be considering is why now? Why have they sent the card now?
have you made any decisions that have negatively impacted somebody else? Been on a business trip where you’ve had a particularly nice time with your friend? If you can think of an event that might have triggered the maliciousness, you might get closer to finding out who it is.
There must be a reason they are doing it.

Known each other for 15/16 years, worked together around 13 years! That's the only true thing the person has said on the card!

I'd bet they are in the Police.

No, there's never been anything between us, obviously he's married and although I've been single for a long time I did have a partner when we first met which fell apart about 5 years later

I would report to 101, not because you expect them to do anything but in case it escalates, this is serious stalker stuff imo. Just get it logged to protect yourselves.

I know a man who's had cards from either this or Moonpig from a woman saying things like she wants to be with him, call me, he makes her melt, you know you want to be with me etc. The funny thing is he is a terrible player and he doesn't know who sent it, it could be anyone! It isn't defamatory though and I can't see why the police would get involved.

Do it on Twitter/X though and it's a different tale.

Something similar(ish) to this happened to me decades ago - not quite the same, but similar. My ex (call him Andy) and I both received anonymous letters accusing us of still sleeping together while he was engaged to someone else. Andy's fiancee (call her Becky) also received a letter telling her that Andy and I were sleeping together.

Long story short: turned out that Becky sent all three letters, because she was a fucking mentalist.

This is one of the biggest mysteries! Why after all this time is this happening now? There's nothing happened recently that would cause someone to do this, imo it sounds like we've upset someone and they're trying to get back at us but even this isn't the case!

If you've done nothing wrong (and it sounds like you haven't), then I'd just chalk it up as weird and crack on with life. If he's done something dodgy, it'll come out in the wash at some point.

Another vote here for his wife being the one who sent it .
Maybe trying to get you both to admit to something .
It would be very odd not to be someone who knows you both quite well.
So she knows he is having an affair and has decided it's you .
Or a co worker hates you both and trying to cause trouble.
Just because he says it's not like her doesn't mean it isn't. Who knows what he gets up to or what she thinks he gets up to anyway .
People go to extreme lengths to get the truth out of cheating partners

I think it's his wife because who else would know precisely how long you've worked together and also would have access to your address.
It would be an excuse to the pair of you s spending less time together and the only person that would benefit would be his wife.
Also why would she tell her kids off she thought it was daft unless that was her intention all along.
🎤 Drop & you're welcome

I read a post here some time ago from a woman whose husband confronted her with an anonymous letter he'd got at work saying that his wife was cheating on him at her workplace, supposedly coming from her colleague(s). It turned out he'd sent it himself and used his left hand to write it, trying to smoke her out or something.

The OP says earlier in the thread that the job is sports management.