Ex threatening police on me for “revenge porn”

[Lovelybitofsquirrel3]

I am highly stressed.
This ex manipulated me into sleeping with him by telling me he wanted to marry me and move in with me.
he “doxed” me by giving his friends my name and address and diagnoses and frightened me by sending me death threats on anonymous accounts. I didn’t report it to the police because I didn’t want him to be in any trouble.
The other month someone sent me photos of him in a thong dressed up as a woman, there are no nude parts shown. I was shocked. I sent it to his mother on Facebook and sent it to two of his friends who I thought would want to know. At the time I was being told by the person who sent me the photos that he was manipulative and has hurt all the girlfriends he has ever had which added up as it’s what he did to me. He is now saying by sending the photos I have done revenge porn and it’s punishable by two years in prison. It turned out that someone had made him do this to humiliate him years ago. He’s just told me this now and I don’t know what to think.

Of course you shouldn't have done this.

You had no permission to share this, and I'm not sure nudity is a requirement to sustain a charge against you.

You sending it to his mother. Good luck explaining this motivation

If you really wanted to get people's opinions advice even help and support that's a conversation not a photo bomb? Someone is sending me pictures of your son dressed as a woman to my inbox I've no idea who it is (but why you would send even a message to his mother I don't know)

You could have spoken to the police about unwanted messages asked their advice you could have taken the (probably pointless) step of reporting to meta or whichever platform they sent it to you on you don't forward it on!

You may get a caution but it’s not revenge porn so don’t freak out!

This isn’t correct. A private sexual photograph is a picture of genitals, a picture of someone engaged in sexual activity OR a picture of intimate parts of the body which specifically includes things like upskirting and downblousing (where the body parts are covered by underwear.

A photo of someone wearing only a thong and cross dressing most definitely meets the statutory definition.

I've already explained that this is an offence. It's not revenge porn it's called sending an intimate image with intent to cause distress of humiliation. It doesn't have to be nude.

Why would anyone's actually friends care if they dress in women's clothing?
So you did do it to cause distress- to break up a friendship group.

are you positive this wasn't done by him to set you up? It seems like something this type of man would do.

You should not have sent the photos - it does sound like revenge and that you did it to cause trouble for him.

If you had proof that he was sending you death threats, you should have reported this to the police immediately.

I don't know what your diagnosis is but is there someone that supports you that you can speak to about this? A trusted friend or support worker?

Either way she's unlikely to go to prison.

Who sent it to you in the first place? Surely if you get some form of punishment they would too? Not that I'm saying any of this is okay. I don't get why anyone would send you pics of your ex dressed in a thong! What is it to do with you? What is it to do with your exes friends or even his mother for that matter?

Also you should have reported him to the police when he started targeting you. I can understand why you wouldn't feel up to that but still, what he did was awful.

Who told you he manipulated his ex girlfriends? Your post got hard to follow towards the end.

You're unlikely to go to prison but it was a shitty thing to do. Take a look at yourself.

Either way she's unlikely to go to prison.

So you're admitting you did it as an act of revenge to try and get people to cut contact with him? Sounds like the definition of revenge porn to me.

I haven't said she is, none of us can possibly comment on that with the information available as we don't know if OP has any history with police or previous convictions.

So basically youre transphobic as well as trying to humiliating this man.

I think start by telling the truth to yourself them go from there.

This is all messed up.

I don’t think what you did was a good idea, nor do I agree with the reasoning. However, the best advice here is to calm down and seek legal advice before speaking to anyone, if you’re able to.

He might not pursue it, but either way, don’t panic yourself into a bad headspace. You can see your actions were wrong now and didn’t understand the gravity of it at the time. This will be a bad memory soon enough, I’m sure. Get yourself a hot drink and some fresh air before you think or read any more on the subject.

Stupid thing to do but you know that. Block all of them and ignore any correspondence you receive from them. Do not engage. Don't apologise, explain, beg etc. If you hear from the police get legal representation.

Who sent them to you? You must have some idea. They have committed an offence too.

But you absolutely should not have sent them to anyone else. You did so as revenge.

Is he threatening to report the person who sent the photo to you? Neither of you should have shared the photo without his consent, where did the photo originate? Was it a party, fancy dress, stag do, intimate moment?

Fair point but given the vast majority of sexual offences do not result in convictions, based on the info shared alone, a picture of a man dressed in a thong, shared with the OP and then shared on to 3 known people to the victim, it seems highly unlikely she would go to prison.

To OP this is really not the place to reduce your fears. Wait and see if the Police get in touch. Don't contact him or connected people again.

But he’s dressed????? I can’t therefore see how it is porn.

Why on earth did you send the photos to anybody else. Especially to his mother -that was very wrong and totally unacceptable. Your explanation may not be believed. I agree you need legal advice.

@CatG021024 sending it to three people known to the victim would be an aggravating factor.