Ex threatening police on me for “revenge porn”

[Lovelybitofsquirrel3]

I am highly stressed.
This ex manipulated me into sleeping with him by telling me he wanted to marry me and move in with me.
he “doxed” me by giving his friends my name and address and diagnoses and frightened me by sending me death threats on anonymous accounts. I didn’t report it to the police because I didn’t want him to be in any trouble.
The other month someone sent me photos of him in a thong dressed up as a woman, there are no nude parts shown. I was shocked. I sent it to his mother on Facebook and sent it to two of his friends who I thought would want to know. At the time I was being told by the person who sent me the photos that he was manipulative and has hurt all the girlfriends he has ever had which added up as it’s what he did to me. He is now saying by sending the photos I have done revenge porn and it’s punishable by two years in prison. It turned out that someone had made him do this to humiliate him years ago. He’s just told me this now and I don’t know what to think.

Well even if is was, he didn't force her to send it to his mum and friends!

OP what you did was revenge and porn.

You got played by him and took revenge using intimate photos.. yes it's revenge porn

I'd delete this thread... you're basically admitting to wanting to cause his relationships harm by means of sharing pictures. That's the very definition of revenge porn.

Your partner sounds awful. Equally you're a moron too

Hey I feel really bad for you, just change your number and block him on every social..honestly this seems a way he wants to abuse you and hold.this over you

What you did was awful and a crime.

It doesn’t matter what any of his friends or mum has done to you, because that wouldn’t have made you send the photos.

It’s a bit contradictory to imply you are afraid of him/his mates but do something to intentionally make him angry.

What’s done is done and you’ll just have to wait for the outcome.

In the meantime, do not communicate with him or his friends/family at all.
Anything you say will be used against you.

Do not do anything he says, even if he threatens you saying they he’ll go to the police if you don’t.

Screenshot all of the messages he sends you.

If you feel threatened then ring the police.

That would depend on whether they got a warrant for something which OP has described as a fully clothed image.
Arguably whoever sent OP the image would also then be equally in trouble if they tried to class it as something like harrassmsnt. I don't think this would be taken as seriously as actual revenge porn. It would have to be sexually explicit to meet that criteria which this doesn't sound like it is.

@FoxInTheForest they don't need a warrant and they can seize her phone when the interview her too. HTH.

@FoxInTheForest it's not a fully clothed image, OP has described her ex as wearing a women's thong. I've already explained on here what constitutes an intimate image. I have extensive knowledge and experience in this area.

Doubtful of your truth about experience, they would need a warrant in this case as it doesn't meet the stolen property/CSA/terrorism criteria which is the only exception requiring one. The police can't search the phone without permission or a warrant unless it meets specific criteria which this definitely doesn't.

@FoxInTheForest police can seize a phone if they reasonably believe that it contains evidence relevant to an investigation. Quick google will tell you that as well. Can you imagine the backlog in courts if police needed a warrant to seize a phone. A high majority of investigations in this modern day involve text messages, social media etc. police would never get any work done waiting for court warrants...

Doubtful of my experience? A quick google will tell you the above.

Section 22 of PACE @FoxInTheForest

Seizing doesn't mean a right to access the content. Similar to how misinterpreting some Google results doesn't make you an expert 😂

You've admitted your intentioned was to break up his friendship by way of humiliation

You had no right to sent the picture to anyone. It shouldn't have been sent to you in the first place.

He's a grown man and can do what he wants. It's not his mum's business.

I'd definitely be worried if I was you.

It should not be inherently humiliating to dress in a skirt, or otherwise in "women's" clothes, since gender is fluid and all that. It's not inherently porn either , just because it's unconventional in his social group. People wear whatever, trans people and drag queens exist, it is not a bad thing in the mainstream public eye overall to wear clothing associated with the other sex.

You didn't share widely to publicly bully him or target his job or whatever .
I think you're probably fine.
I hope you can get support on the other things you've mentioned , which sound horrendous!

Omg guys !

If my ex partner ruined my life I would want to ruin his .

You messed up op but people make mistakes . Tell him if he reports it you'll report him. I don't know you , only you know who you are deep down and you sound like someone who's made a mistake . I would go the police myself and explain everything and take the power off him . I wish you well op xx

This. You need legal advice.

There's no point asking mumsnet you'll get a wide spectrum of answers. Talk to a lawyer and start saving for legal representation should you need it

@behappybee didnt mean to quote you in my response sorry

No this is the same excuse that men give when they do revenge porn and share private photos of their ex gfs.

It’s wrong and shouldn’t be condoned, regardless of what the ex did.

It’s also about taking the high ground and not getting yourself into trouble.

@Wonderi

Sorry but I have zero sympathy for a rapist .

Has he actually reported you to the police? I have only skimmed through the thread. You really need legal advice to advise on what you should do.

This