Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Treated badly at a supermarket

128 replies

Peaceguide · 20/01/2025 21:11

Me and a mate went to a supermarket. When I was at the till, the cashier mentioned __ 'Camera' and some things quietly (he had a earphone). After this incident, I spoke to my mate. He and the people at the store are friends. He said one of the staff (his friend) said to him, He looks suspicious. The security in the room said he kept taking stuffs from the shelf, looking at them and putting them back. He walks around. He has a big bag. This is the 2nd time the system flagged. My mate said to the staff (his friend), He is just browsing the items. He likes to browse / look around. He is a decent bloke. He goes to a faith place. He also said while I was doing shopping, the security was watching you. The earpiece on his ear was flashing red. The security in the room said to him to watch 'him'. There are cameras above (the crystal ball / black dome). They are watching you.

He said they suspect you because you come out with a big bag, you look at stuff a long time etc. I said to him but you know what I have in my bag, I am not a bad / wrong person! (PC stuff, shopping bags etc in my bag cause I can't leave them in my place due to my living situation). He said You know! I know! but they don't know. They are doing this just to you. They do this to everyone because there are a lot of thieves and so on. That's why a couple of weeks ago, he sent a text Hurry up__ ! while I was doing shopping. He said It's nothing personal. After what he said to them, the staff (friend) went to tell the security in room and said to my mate, It's ok, I have told them, it's ok now etc. Which faith place does he go to?

I told him everything, This is what is bothering me. If a store or place suspects you, watches, how would you be? How would you feel? Won't you get upset, angry, offended, hurt, uncomfortable etc? He said he won't get offended etc. I said I won't go there anymore! He said Oh, come on. They are my friends. Look, they have already told them. It's okay. I said If someone, something causes problems, does bad, wrong, offends, hurts one or a certain number of times, I won't go there, I won't have anything to do with them anymore! I have to find a new place to shop at!

I am concerned how am I going to do shopping now. I don't want to go through the same experience again. It is very obnoxious, uncomfortable.

I want to know if there are any actions I can take against the store, how they treated me, for everything. Is there anything I can do? What should be done? I / my conscious is not good leaving this as it is and not do anything, if there is something I should do. I need to stand up. This needs to be sorted.

OP posts:
Divastrout · 22/01/2025 05:45

yipyipyop · 22/01/2025 03:08

AI? If not, it's very poorly written.

I am actually extremely confused 😕
I am pleased other posters can understand this narrative.
I am only trying to follow for some clarity

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 22/01/2025 12:17

yipyipyop · 22/01/2025 03:08

AI? If not, it's very poorly written.

I think the OP is not a native English speaker.
AI would know that "stuff" doesn't have a plural form.

fatphalange · 22/01/2025 12:29

Very easy to follow. Not everyone on the internet has English as their mother tongue.

Peaceguide · 22/01/2025 17:09

SomebodyElsesName · 20/01/2025 21:49

I am open to hear other people's thoughts, what would they do if they were to face this situation. This is really bothering me. Trying to not let people, things affect (emotionally etc), deal with calmly and properly.

I would do nothing. But it wouldn't be bothering me so that's no use to you. Maybe just shop elsewhere?

I spoke to my mate. He seemed / talked like was defending them. It's understandable. Anyone would defend, take sides for their friends, loved ones. He said It was the camera above me that was flashing red. He kept saying they were watching 'everyone' (Although previously when we talked, he said it was watching 'you'). He said don't complain about them! His friend had already went to talk to the security in the room. He told his friend that I had my phone stolen before etc that's why I have to have my gadgets / stuff out with me. I said what about me!? They treated me badly!? I can't just let this go! ...
He said if you complain about the friend, they lose their job, how are they going to take care of their kids? etc. His grandkids and friend's kids go to the same school. The friend is also _ and goes to _ faith place.
If I complain about them, as soon as his friend comes and tells him, your friend complained about me, you won't be coming here anymore. My mate is at x age. He said Sorry, I am x age. I just can't have any aggravation anymore..

I am thinking, bothered and having feelings about what our conversation, everything. What should I do..?

OP posts:
SheWasPureSound · 22/01/2025 17:10

Peaceguide · 22/01/2025 17:09

I spoke to my mate. He seemed / talked like was defending them. It's understandable. Anyone would defend, take sides for their friends, loved ones. He said It was the camera above me that was flashing red. He kept saying they were watching 'everyone' (Although previously when we talked, he said it was watching 'you'). He said don't complain about them! His friend had already went to talk to the security in the room. He told his friend that I had my phone stolen before etc that's why I have to have my gadgets / stuff out with me. I said what about me!? They treated me badly!? I can't just let this go! ...
He said if you complain about the friend, they lose their job, how are they going to take care of their kids? etc. His grandkids and friend's kids go to the same school. The friend is also _ and goes to _ faith place.
If I complain about them, as soon as his friend comes and tells him, your friend complained about me, you won't be coming here anymore. My mate is at x age. He said Sorry, I am x age. I just can't have any aggravation anymore..

I am thinking, bothered and having feelings about what our conversation, everything. What should I do..?

Edited

What the hell? Are you okay? These are ramblings.

Hoppinggreen · 22/01/2025 17:11

I think you should step away from the internet

purpleme12 · 22/01/2025 17:11

Peaceguide · 22/01/2025 17:09

I spoke to my mate. He seemed / talked like was defending them. It's understandable. Anyone would defend, take sides for their friends, loved ones. He said It was the camera above me that was flashing red. He kept saying they were watching 'everyone' (Although previously when we talked, he said it was watching 'you'). He said don't complain about them! His friend had already went to talk to the security in the room. He told his friend that I had my phone stolen before etc that's why I have to have my gadgets / stuff out with me. I said what about me!? They treated me badly!? I can't just let this go! ...
He said if you complain about the friend, they lose their job, how are they going to take care of their kids? etc. His grandkids and friend's kids go to the same school. The friend is also _ and goes to _ faith place.
If I complain about them, as soon as his friend comes and tells him, your friend complained about me, you won't be coming here anymore. My mate is at x age. He said Sorry, I am x age. I just can't have any aggravation anymore..

I am thinking, bothered and having feelings about what our conversation, everything. What should I do..?

Edited

I think the consensus is... Nothing

SheWasPureSound · 22/01/2025 17:11

You should do nothing as nothings happened!! I think you need to go to your GP.

NiftyKoala · 22/01/2025 17:13

You desperately need metal health help. The more you post the more clear it is you are suffering from some sort of mental problem.

Peaceguide · 22/01/2025 17:14

Hoppinggreen · 20/01/2025 21:50

Go without your friend

May be an option. The reason I go with my mate is there someone to support me, I am more confident, if anything happens, there is someone to help me complain, talk etc.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 22/01/2025 17:20

Peaceguide · 22/01/2025 17:14

May be an option. The reason I go with my mate is there someone to support me, I am more confident, if anything happens, there is someone to help me complain, talk etc.

Everthing you write here about your friend suggests they are making things worse

LordEmsworth · 22/01/2025 17:29

Your friend is not your friend.

None of the people in the supermarket treated you badly.

Your friend may be playing a stupid joke, he may be trying to upset you, or he may have mental health problems; but he is the only one who has treated you "badly". Back away from him and you'll find your problems are, or at least seem, less...

vodkaredbullgirl · 22/01/2025 17:32

Think you need a new friend, this is one is no good for you.

fatphalange · 22/01/2025 17:40

The supermarket worker will not lose their job as they have done nothing wrong. Management wouldn't say who you are in terms of a complaint being communicated to them. You're a 'customer' or 'a member of the public'.
Nothing is wrong here. You're not been mistreated in any way but you do need to make an appointment with your GP.

BobbyBiscuits · 22/01/2025 17:43

Make a complaint to the head office if you feel the desperate urge.
It sounds like you're making an unnecessary fuss over it though to be honest.
And so what if someone goes to a 'faith place'? It doesn't stop them looking like a shoplifter. They were doing their jobs.

DemonicCaveMaggot · 22/01/2025 17:51

I have been followed around by a security guard. I asked him for advice on which wine to buy when we got to the alcohol section. I don't see the point in getting all upset about it, they are doing their jobs. Don't pick things up and mess around with them if you aren't going to buy them, and if you are carrying a big bag loaded with stuff into a supermarket, leave it with the customer service desk team while you go around the store (I do this).

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 22/01/2025 17:56

No one at the supermarket did anything wrong. You have nothing to complain about. So as far as the supermarket goes you do nothing. Shop there again, or don't, it's up to you but there's no reason for you to stop going there.

Can you see that this entire situation has been created by your 'friend' assuming things, making things up, telling you things they think are real, as though they are facts?

The reason your friend is panicking about you complaining and people getting sacked (they won't, because no one has done anything wrong, including you!) is because for whatever reason he has made up a completely random scenario about his 'friends' in the shop and if they find out from you telling them what he's said then they'll be angry with him for telling you a load of rubbish.

It really sounds like you're spending a lot of time worrying about what you think people are doing, saying and thinking about you. That's rather alarming and I think you need to talk to someone about your mental health.

Also, your English, while perfectly fine is I'm assuming either not your first language or not it's British English. So things you think you've heard people say and what you think people mean might be being misinterpreted because of a language barrier.

At the bottom of all this though is your friend either having problems of their own, or winding you up. Neither of which are helpful to you, and they're certainly not the fault of the supermarket staff! I really do think you should rethink your friendship with this person, they don't sound like they are actually supporting you at all, even if you think they are.

Gazelda · 22/01/2025 18:05

You're evidently an anxious shopper. You have a large backpack loaded with tech. You like to pick things up and observe them for a long while.

All of these are unusual behaviours. So it's understandable that staff might be observing you. Thats what they're paid to do.

But if you've not done anything wrong, then there's no need to worry. And there's no need to take your friend who is making things worse for you rather than being supportive.

Brefugee · 22/01/2025 18:08

Peaceguide · 20/01/2025 21:15

Thank you for the reply. What is it that you don't understand here?

practically nothing of your OP. But if the store detective sees suspicious behaviour, what do you think they should do?

MummytoE · 22/01/2025 18:16

Get a grip and move on. Id hate to see how you would react if something has actually happened to you

myslippersarepink · 22/01/2025 18:22

Don't listen to your friend, think about the facts. Security guards are there to stop people stealing. In order to catch people who steal, they watch people who look suspicious. If you act suspicious, then they watch you. You have to accept that. If you walk around the high street with a knife, people will call the police as you look suspiciously like you are out to stab someone. If you take ages in a shop, bring a large bag, picks lots of things up and don't buy them, people will think you are stalling to steal things.

If you don't like it, think what you need before you go in the shop, find it, have a quick look then go and buy it and leave.

Also, thanks for the words stuffs. I am going to use it now. Where are my stuffs? I left my stuffs here?!!!!

pestowithwalnuts · 22/01/2025 18:29

What was that all about.?

Midnightlove · 22/01/2025 19:09

I started a new supermarket job in a new area when I was younger. I realised I was being stalked around the alcohol aisle by my new manager before she realised who I was 🤣 I don't really care, I have nothing to hide

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 22/01/2025 20:23

Your friend telling you that his friend was in the security office talking about you - i do not believe your friend.
I work in a supermarket and the security staff are not permitted their friends or family in the security office.

Are you male or female ?

Do you have a support worker or someone that works in the place you live in that could help you with shopping next time.

Just because the security guard's head set glowed red for a couple of seconds it does not mean they were talking about you, every person that has a head set on in that store has to listen to every message, so it could even be the person on self service till asking to be relieved so s/he can go to the toilet !

Oldenpeculiar · 22/01/2025 21:47

I agree with other posters that your friend isn't being particularly helpful here, even if all this stuff is happening, it's quite commonplace in a supermarket (with the exception of taking random people into the security office) and expected of staff, and telling you all this seems to be for no reason other than to upset you and make you feel victimised, or at least try and goad you into complaining/causing a scene with the shop staff for their own entertainment.

I suspect a lot of this isn't actually happening to be honest and your friend is making it up, or at least greatly embellishing.

You will be watched in a shop, in person or on a camera, everyone is, but look at it this way, if you're not stealing from the shop then it's going to prove that as much as it would prove you were stealing if you were. It will show there's no stealing from you, no matter how many cameras are pointing at you.

And I also agree with pp that you probably need some intervention if something this normal is making you so anxious and upset.

Swipe left for the next trending thread