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Treated badly at a supermarket

128 replies

Peaceguide · 20/01/2025 21:11

Me and a mate went to a supermarket. When I was at the till, the cashier mentioned __ 'Camera' and some things quietly (he had a earphone). After this incident, I spoke to my mate. He and the people at the store are friends. He said one of the staff (his friend) said to him, He looks suspicious. The security in the room said he kept taking stuffs from the shelf, looking at them and putting them back. He walks around. He has a big bag. This is the 2nd time the system flagged. My mate said to the staff (his friend), He is just browsing the items. He likes to browse / look around. He is a decent bloke. He goes to a faith place. He also said while I was doing shopping, the security was watching you. The earpiece on his ear was flashing red. The security in the room said to him to watch 'him'. There are cameras above (the crystal ball / black dome). They are watching you.

He said they suspect you because you come out with a big bag, you look at stuff a long time etc. I said to him but you know what I have in my bag, I am not a bad / wrong person! (PC stuff, shopping bags etc in my bag cause I can't leave them in my place due to my living situation). He said You know! I know! but they don't know. They are doing this just to you. They do this to everyone because there are a lot of thieves and so on. That's why a couple of weeks ago, he sent a text Hurry up__ ! while I was doing shopping. He said It's nothing personal. After what he said to them, the staff (friend) went to tell the security in room and said to my mate, It's ok, I have told them, it's ok now etc. Which faith place does he go to?

I told him everything, This is what is bothering me. If a store or place suspects you, watches, how would you be? How would you feel? Won't you get upset, angry, offended, hurt, uncomfortable etc? He said he won't get offended etc. I said I won't go there anymore! He said Oh, come on. They are my friends. Look, they have already told them. It's okay. I said If someone, something causes problems, does bad, wrong, offends, hurts one or a certain number of times, I won't go there, I won't have anything to do with them anymore! I have to find a new place to shop at!

I am concerned how am I going to do shopping now. I don't want to go through the same experience again. It is very obnoxious, uncomfortable.

I want to know if there are any actions I can take against the store, how they treated me, for everything. Is there anything I can do? What should be done? I / my conscious is not good leaving this as it is and not do anything, if there is something I should do. I need to stand up. This needs to be sorted.

OP posts:
Peaceguide · 20/01/2025 22:32

SomebodyElsesName · 20/01/2025 21:49

I am open to hear other people's thoughts, what would they do if they were to face this situation. This is really bothering me. Trying to not let people, things affect (emotionally etc), deal with calmly and properly.

I would do nothing. But it wouldn't be bothering me so that's no use to you. Maybe just shop elsewhere?

Thank you for the reply. Maybe will just shop elsewhere, shopping delivery or will have to think of something.

OP posts:
MummytoE · 20/01/2025 22:32

I think you love the drama. It's literally securitys job to watch people. You didn't do anything wrong and they didn't approach you. It's a non event. Move on

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 20/01/2025 22:37

Your friend is not being very kind to you.
Please go shopping without this friend in future.

ErickBroch · 20/01/2025 22:41

Tell your mate to stop smoking so much weed jfc

Peaceguide · 20/01/2025 22:43

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 20/01/2025 21:18

What's a faith place? A church / temple type place? Or something else?

Tbh it sounds like your friend is paranoid more than anything. You're at the till, but somehow he knows what people were saying into the cashiers earpiece and what the security guard is thinking and saying in the back room?

Yes, a church / temple type place. I was at the till, the cashier mentioned __ 'camera' and was saying some things (Probably to someone on earpiece he was wearing). My mate said he was waiting (waiting outside the till), saw security was watching me, the earpiece they were wearing was flashing red, someone watching from camera room spoke to the security, said watch 'him' (me)

OP posts:
Meecrowahvey · 20/01/2025 22:45

You and your friend sound mentally unwell.

purpleme12 · 20/01/2025 22:46

I don't quite know what to think of this thread

OtherS · 20/01/2025 22:46

This is really hard to read, but I gather you are unhappy because your friend told you that some security guards he knows at a supermarket watch you on CCTV because you look suspicious? And he told them they needn't worry as you go to a 'faith place'? But they still think that even someone who apparently goes to a 'faith place' can steal things, and so continue to watch you on CCTV?

If that's the case then you've not been treated badly at all; it's the job of a security guard to watch for anything suspicious, and they are probably very well aware that even people who go to 'faith places' are not always upstanding members of society. Obviously; I think most people are very aware of that, at least if they read the news!

If you act dodgy, or look like you might potentially steal things, you'll be watched. Usually, you'll never know. I have no idea whether I'm watched when I shop, and I don't remotely care as I have no intention of misbehaving. I don't understand why it matters, unless they're always searching you, or hissing "thief" at you, or doing that two-finger 'I'm watching you' gesture... I suppose that might be annoying - but it would also be quite funny, so I'd probably quite enjoy it.

midgetastic · 20/01/2025 22:48

Look with your eyes not your hands unless you are very likely to buy

Taught it to DD from a very early age

CucumberBagel · 20/01/2025 22:51

Your mate is causing trouble.

MummytoE · 20/01/2025 22:53

Next time you are going shopping leave your friend and your bag at home. Don't just pick "stuffs" up all the time either. Look with your eyes .

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 20/01/2025 22:54

Peaceguide · 20/01/2025 22:32

Thank you for the reply. Maybe will just shop elsewhere, shopping delivery or will have to think of something.

Are you the lip gloss enthusiast?

purpleme12 · 20/01/2025 22:54

Oh yes I vaguely remember that now!

NiftyKoala · 20/01/2025 22:55

Meecrowahvey · 20/01/2025 22:45

You and your friend sound mentally unwell.

Agreed it sounds like you need some help. Is there a therapist you can speak to because this is not normal. It's no way to live with these paranoid thoughts. Get help so you can live with a clear mind and be happy.

Waterbaby41 · 20/01/2025 22:58

Nothing at all happened did it! So if you don't like shopping where nothing happens, shop elsewhere. BTW - security people in shops are paid to look for people who are looking and acting suspiciously - think about it.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 20/01/2025 23:13

We had a wave of shoplifting in our local Aldi. They asked everyone to put their bags on the conveyor so thé till operator could make sure we hadn’t hidden an extra tin of beans etc in it.

I suppose you would have had a panic attack about that.

Peaceguide · 21/01/2025 00:06

Rooroobear · 20/01/2025 21:34

Well unfortunately thefts happen often now. If you come in with a big bag it makes staff suspicious. The shop I used to work in was done over by two women who came in with big bags and just shoved in what they could as quick as they could. There’s zero action to take and if it’s upset you then that’s life. Don’t shop there again

You may be right. But I have stated my reasons. You can read them. What they came in may be different than me. Mine is a backpack. Good answer. I won't shop there again. People are problematic, troublesome. They misunderstand, make wrong / bad judgements, suspicions, give you a difficult time etc. Have to think how am I going to do shopping now

OP posts:
Gravitasdepleted · 21/01/2025 00:30

Do you want advice on how you can continue to shop there without feeling like they think youre a criminal? I guess if the staff stay the same theyll get to used to your oddness and big bag etc and pay less attention to you over time if you keep going.

SD1978 · 21/01/2025 00:33

Nothing happened and your 'friend' stirred the shit out of you. Only thing I'd change is listening to the shite coming out his mouth
.....

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 21/01/2025 00:46

I'm autistic and so being treated suspiciously, watched, and tailed in shops because I'm giving "wrong" body language or taking my time to decide on a purchase is basically a day ending in Y for me.

Security didn't stop you, they didn't search you, and they didn't call the police or bar you from the store. You have not suffered any material harm to complain about. If you go shopping with big bags, take your time choosing items, etc then you will have to learn not to take being watched personally. It's not about you as a person, but about a profile that you match.

stuffs

Guessing that you aren't British because a British English speaker would say "stuff". Is it possible that your home country deals with shoplifting differently, so you aren't used to British store security procedures?

People are problematic, troublesome. They misunderstand, make wrong / bad judgements, suspicions, give you a difficult time etc.

Try living whilst autistic. You seriously need to learn to brush this off.

Theunamedcat · 21/01/2025 01:00

Literally nothing happened and yes I've been followed harassed by staff in woolworths when dd was a baby and I was pushing a pram apparently I looked suspicious because I walked in bought what I needed and tried to walk out after making a big deal about checking my receipt I was "allowed" to go

LordEmsworth · 21/01/2025 01:13

The cashier was talking to the security team about you? That sounds unlikely. Especially if it's while you were standing at the till - generally supermarket security isn't sophisticated enough to have all cashiers with a headset to allow the security team to talk to them; plus why would the cashier be telling them to watch the camera; and why do it in front of you...

And you know the security guards were suspicious of you because your friend told you - again, why would the guard say to someone "the person you're with is acting suspiciously"? They must have known he'd tell you.

Your friend is winding you up. Impossible to tell whether they think it's funny or they're just being a twat. But they are deliberately playing on your paranoia. Don't move in with them, find somewhere else.

SheWasPureSound · 21/01/2025 06:15

Peaceguide · 21/01/2025 00:06

You may be right. But I have stated my reasons. You can read them. What they came in may be different than me. Mine is a backpack. Good answer. I won't shop there again. People are problematic, troublesome. They misunderstand, make wrong / bad judgements, suspicions, give you a difficult time etc. Have to think how am I going to do shopping now

Why though?! Nothing happened. Most people will have been watched via the camera at one point or another. It’s just life and they’re just doing their jobs. No one said anything other than your friend, and btw they’re not the oracle so they could be completely wrong and upsetting you for no reason.

Igmum · 21/01/2025 07:36

Nothing happened. It is literally their job to be suspicious of shoppers. The only reason you were aware of this was because your friend told you (which may or may not be true). You weren't accused of anything, you weren't searched.

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