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Treated badly at a supermarket

128 replies

Peaceguide · 20/01/2025 21:11

Me and a mate went to a supermarket. When I was at the till, the cashier mentioned __ 'Camera' and some things quietly (he had a earphone). After this incident, I spoke to my mate. He and the people at the store are friends. He said one of the staff (his friend) said to him, He looks suspicious. The security in the room said he kept taking stuffs from the shelf, looking at them and putting them back. He walks around. He has a big bag. This is the 2nd time the system flagged. My mate said to the staff (his friend), He is just browsing the items. He likes to browse / look around. He is a decent bloke. He goes to a faith place. He also said while I was doing shopping, the security was watching you. The earpiece on his ear was flashing red. The security in the room said to him to watch 'him'. There are cameras above (the crystal ball / black dome). They are watching you.

He said they suspect you because you come out with a big bag, you look at stuff a long time etc. I said to him but you know what I have in my bag, I am not a bad / wrong person! (PC stuff, shopping bags etc in my bag cause I can't leave them in my place due to my living situation). He said You know! I know! but they don't know. They are doing this just to you. They do this to everyone because there are a lot of thieves and so on. That's why a couple of weeks ago, he sent a text Hurry up__ ! while I was doing shopping. He said It's nothing personal. After what he said to them, the staff (friend) went to tell the security in room and said to my mate, It's ok, I have told them, it's ok now etc. Which faith place does he go to?

I told him everything, This is what is bothering me. If a store or place suspects you, watches, how would you be? How would you feel? Won't you get upset, angry, offended, hurt, uncomfortable etc? He said he won't get offended etc. I said I won't go there anymore! He said Oh, come on. They are my friends. Look, they have already told them. It's okay. I said If someone, something causes problems, does bad, wrong, offends, hurts one or a certain number of times, I won't go there, I won't have anything to do with them anymore! I have to find a new place to shop at!

I am concerned how am I going to do shopping now. I don't want to go through the same experience again. It is very obnoxious, uncomfortable.

I want to know if there are any actions I can take against the store, how they treated me, for everything. Is there anything I can do? What should be done? I / my conscious is not good leaving this as it is and not do anything, if there is something I should do. I need to stand up. This needs to be sorted.

OP posts:
SomebodyElsesName · 20/01/2025 21:43

How on Earth do people manage to take stuff like this personally?

They don't know you. You don't know them. You just fitted a 'profile' by carrying a big bag, if I'm understanding correctly (I'm not certain that I am!)

Nothing personal about it - nothing to be offended about, or hurt, angry etc.

ApolloandDaphne · 20/01/2025 21:45

Security staff in supermarkets are paid to look out for shoplifters and they know what they are looking for. If you carry a big bag and spend ages looking at stuff, lifting it and putting it back you might be considered to be acting in a suspicious manner. If you know you are not stealing then you have nothing to worry about.

Peaceguide · 20/01/2025 21:46

LittleRedRidingHoody · 20/01/2025 21:16

They've not done anything wrong. Security guards are suspicious of plenty of people, and some of those times they're wrong 💁‍♀️

If you don't like it, shop somewhere else. It sounds like your 'friend' is messing with you.

No, they misunderstood, suspected (wrongly / badly), made judgements (wrongly / badly) that I look / I am 'suspicious', a 'bad' person just because I look at stuffs (the way I do) and see the reasons in post. My mate, God knows I am not a 'bad' person, doing anything wrong. Was genuinely doing shopping there.

My mate also said it's because of you are out with a big bag, you look at stuffs long, you take them and have a look and put them back (He said to the staff that I was looking at details such as weight etc). There are a lot of crimes, people stealing, it has happened before. They suspect, watch everyone. It's not personal. I said to him, I always go out like this (with a bag), nothing has happen, this rarely happens. I normally leave computer, PC stuff etc at place but due to living situation I take them out.

I said now I have to find a different place to do shopping! He said he will take me to a different supermarket etc. It may become a bigger thing as may be moving to their place and the store which the incident occurred is located near his place.

'Security guards', and you also mean the security in the room watching cameras. And when those times they're wrong / you're the victim, how would you be? How would you feel? Won't it be injustice? Won't you be unfairly treated? Won't you want to get justice, fairness, make a complaint, take legal action, do something?

I am open to hear other people's thoughts, what would they do if they were to face this situation. This is really bothering me. Trying to not let people, things affect (emotionally etc), deal with calmly and properly.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 20/01/2025 21:47

Stop going shopping with large bag. You must look suspicious.

Msmoonpie · 20/01/2025 21:48

Do you want to the supermarket and had a conversation about how security guards work and your problem is …what ?

If security wanted to watch me I couldn’t give a shit. They can do that if they want. They’ll be bored soon enough.

Mrsttcno1 · 20/01/2025 21:49

Not a single member of staff said anything to you OP. If you’re shopping with a big bag, loitering around, picking things up and putting them down, you do look suspicious, security are doing their job. You didn’t steal anything, so security didn’t intervene.

What is your actual problem here? Security doing their job? Staff doing their job?

LunchtimeNaps · 20/01/2025 21:49

I get followed round Tesco loads by one security guard. If I have time I make extra trips round the isles just to see how far she'll go 🤣

Yourfootisinmysirachamayo · 20/01/2025 21:49

Can you stop using so many (unnecessary) brackets, please

SomebodyElsesName · 20/01/2025 21:49

I am open to hear other people's thoughts, what would they do if they were to face this situation. This is really bothering me. Trying to not let people, things affect (emotionally etc), deal with calmly and properly.

I would do nothing. But it wouldn't be bothering me so that's no use to you. Maybe just shop elsewhere?

Hoppinggreen · 20/01/2025 21:50

Go without your friend

murasaki · 20/01/2025 21:51

You looked dodgy, Any claimed religious beliefs have no bearing on anything, and nothing was actually done.

If you don't want to be looked at as suspicious, don't act in a suspicious manner.

SheWasPureSound · 20/01/2025 21:59

Nothing happened? Why are you making such a big deal out of this? God help you if you ever shop in Superdrug the staff always seem to follow me about 😂

Bodeganights · 20/01/2025 21:59

The security staff, the shop staff, have no idea you have a faith. They probably dont care that you have a faith (if I'm reading your op right) you look suspicious. Stop looking suspicious and they wont follow you.

I wouldnt care at all about being watched on camera or by a guard so no, I would do nothing to stop it.

They won't get it wrong, you'll be pulled if they think you have stolen something,they'll check your bag etc and if you've not stolen anything, your ok.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 20/01/2025 22:00

Why are you so focused on the security guard in the room watching the cameras? Why do you think they were watching you? How could you possibly know? For all you know he was in the toilet the whole time you were in the shop...

Honestly your friend is being totally bizarre telling you everyone is watching you and talking about you. If I've understood what you're saying then you had no idea about any of this until your 'friend' stuck his oar in and told you all this stuff he magically knows about what people are thinking.

Yes if you're lugging a big bag of computer equipment around a supermarket you're going to stand out as a bit unusual and catch the staff's eye. But security guards look at people. They look at everyone. It's literally their job.

No one has done anything or said anything to you, other than your 'friend' who seems to be going out of their way to upset you for some reason.

Peaceguide · 20/01/2025 22:03

Viviennemary · 20/01/2025 21:47

Stop going shopping with large bag. You must look suspicious.

What you say may be right. Thing is, it's just laptop, PC stuff - mouse, battery charger, glasses, bags (so I save money otherwise will have to get shopping bags), powerbank, notebooks, drink bottles (save money from getting drinks out), tissue, hand cream (hand sanitizer alternative), gloves, hat etc. When used to live in long term place, I leave some stuffs, laptop, PC stuff at place. But current place is temporary, they have masterkey. It's not safe, secure and don't trust leaving some stuffs such as laptop, PC stuff or valuables here.

Also, if I stop going out with 'large' bag, how am I going to bring bags with me when I go shopping? I don't want to spend money getting bags at store.

OP posts:
WhoPutTheBomp · 20/01/2025 22:06

Maybe put the bags in your trolley, with the top sort of tucked under themselves so you can't obviously sneak stuff in a bag without faffing?

I hear you with regards having to tote your valuables around with you at the moment as your living quarters are insecure.

WartOrNot · 20/01/2025 22:14

Mountain out of molehill. You wouldn't even have known they were watching you, had your 'friend' not told you about it. After all, that's all they did: watch you. That's what security do in a supermarket.

Of course you bring your shopping bags with you, and you can carry whatever it is you carry into the shop. Next time, fold up your shopping bags and put them with the rest of your stuff all into one bag, which you put into the trolley and do not then touch again until you get to the till. That's what everyone else does.

C152 · 20/01/2025 22:15

This happens to everyone. Stores are allowed to have security cameras and, whether we like it or not, they pay more attention to customers that fit whatever profile they're wary of - whether it's shoppers that dawdle, wear oversized coats in warm weather, single parents with big prams or customers with big bags. If you don't like this, the alternative is to shop online or at street markets.

If the security guards behaved inappropriately in some way, or said or did something offensive, you can complain to the store manager or head office.

landbeforegrime · 20/01/2025 22:15

try going shopping with a pram. I hate it. very obvious I've been profiled and I'm being watched. they are wasting their time but what really really bugs me is actual shoplifters know I look sus because of the large pram and leave at the same time as me, setting off the alarm, sending me into a panic and I stop as I think maybe something has a tag left on, maybe my toddler picked something up, maybe I, in a sleep deprived state did something wrong... then I notice the person who left at the same time as me as a dot on the horizon and realise what had happened. so get over yourself. they are doing their job and pick on loads of innocent people. not just you.

WhatsitWiggle · 20/01/2025 22:18

OP, do you believe you have been racially profiled by the store and flagged as a suspicious person as a result? Rather than due to the large bag and unusual behaviour?

I think if you were to consider raising a grievance for discrimination, you'd find the shop justifying their actions on the grounds of your behaviour.

The only way you'd know is if you were to go into the supermarket with a smaller bag / no coat and see if you were followed by security in the same way.

www.gov.uk/discrimination-your-rights/what-you-can-do

supersonicginandtonic · 20/01/2025 22:25

OP I work in substance misuse. A lot of my clients are regularly caught shoplifting. They all have large bags, it does look suspicious.
Also why do you spend so long looking at items?

itwasmadeofelm · 20/01/2025 22:25

@Peaceguide you must realise how truly bananas all of this sounds? Literally nothing happened.

Are you expecting someone to tell you to get a no win no fee lawyer?

DeliciousApples · 20/01/2025 22:27

Take a basket or trolly. Put stuff you want to buy in it.

Stop picking up stuff and putting it down continually.

Accept that we are all getting watched all the time and ignore it. It happens in all shops. No matter where you go.

If you don't steal you've nothing to be scared of. You've not been treated badly.

There was a thread like this before. Was that you too?

Peanutssuck · 20/01/2025 22:27

2025hello · 20/01/2025 21:18

Did you have issues with interflora by any chance?

So upset that thread got pulled 🤣🤣

LittleGreenDragons · 20/01/2025 22:31

Can anyone explain what the shop actually did?

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