Equity release daughter not happy

[KindGoldTurtle]

Hi I would love to hear off anyone who can understand my grief please. My husband of 36 years died suddenly he had made a will leaving 50% to me his wife and 10% each to his 5 adult children. I worked all my life struggling with raising children, working ,cooking,cleaning etc as soon as my husband passed my son 37 said he wanted his share and have not heard from him since after he got his share and not able to see granddaughter just took his money and left now daughters want their share so had to sell my home to give their shares as they all don’t get on my daughter is very abusive to me she is 30 still at home the youngest is 22 and wants to move in with me but if I use any of her share she dictates what I can do and cannot do to decorate my new home so I am paying for property my self and will have no money out of my share to make property my own so I want to take equity out of new property but my youngest daughter thinks I am selfish and need to make a will to leave to her as she is the youngest and didn’t get much time with her dad and didn’t asked to be born I am 60 now and don’t know what I should do Have learned adult kids only think about themselves

If you have paid all of your kids what they are owed, why do any live with you?

Isn't the point of paying them that they move out?

If you have done as stated in the will then anything you do from then on is none of their business.

I hope that anything you do have you will to a charity!

I'm sorry you're in this situation OP. Your children sound like they're being complete arseholes. Their priority in this situation should be to make sure that their mum is properly provided for. I've no idea what your husband was thinking making a will like that, but it sounds like you've had legal advice and there's nothing to be done.

It's not clear what your next move is. You say the sale of the house is still going through, but where do you plan to live next? Have you found a property or are you looking for one?

I'd just take your 50% share and use it to provide for yourself. I wouldn't entertain the idea of any of your children moving in with you, or giving the youngest one any extra money. Tell them to be grateful that they've got part of their inheritance now instead of having to wait until you die, and that if they don't start being nicer to you whatever is left when you die will be going to the local donkey sanctuary.

No it wouldn't. Only if they were divorcing would she have a claim against 50% or such other share as a court determined of any asset in her husband's name/his property or assets.

Sorry but your 22yo wants her cake and to eat it! Give her her share. Buy your own house. If she lives with you, she pays rent. You decorate as you see fit, she can decorate her bedroom.

That's it. Choose wisely what you include in your will, your other kids don't deserve anything, but your 22yo is pushing her luck too. If I were you, I'd release all the equity and enjoy my retirement.

I'm confused, sorry if I've missed the obvious.

House to be sold and 50% of proceeds to you, and 50% divided amongst children. Correct?

So why do you need equity release? Is it because there was a mortgage on the property, but surely there was mortgage protection policy that would have paid it off.

OK, if there wasn't, do you have to pay off the outstanding mortgage? Where will you live, and how do you pay for a property in order to get equity release?

Sorry, but I don't understand the circumstances here, either OP or someone else might clarify.

Presumably in case you remarried.

Get professional advice - equity release is an awful idea for most people at your age!!!!

Your kids are awful. Give them their shares and walk away. Leave your money to charity

Thanks - that's really interesting
I never knew this

Tell your daughter there's not a person in history who 'asked to be born'.
Then boot your kids out, get financial advice re the equity release versus other alternatives, and worry about your own future. Maybe rent out their rooms instead?

I'm sorry your children don't give a shit about each other or you, but accept it and protect yourself as much as you can. You have no choice.

The children are forcing the sale, as they want their cut, 50% of the sale price is yours, 10% to each child.
When the house is sold, you use the 50% to buy a place for yourself, there is no onus on you to house the brats that have forced this.
They wanted their money, they have it now, so they are on their own.
Actions = consequence

Havalona sorry my situation is so difficult to understand but I will try to clarify I have 5 adult children 1 son and 4 daughters son is married and 1 daughter is married 3 daughters live with me after my husband died suddenly at 59 in his will it stated I get 50% and each child gets 10% after combining all his assets the property of which was in his name too put all together and then clearing the mortgage that was left and paying off all his credit that he owed all the rest had to be divided as stated in the will whenever but my son straight after his dad’s cremation wanted his share so we paid his share and never saw him again bills started to pile up and nobody wanted to pay as they never needed to pay as their dad paid for household bills and then arguments and insults came when I had to confront them for bills that needed paying debt mounted up so needed to sell house had a buyer it’s now going through after funds of house have gone through the 4 daughters will get their share with my share I have found a property but need a little work doing to it hence I need equity as I barely have enough with my share so it’s a small place but my youngest wants to move with me but dictating what I can do if I use a little of her share there is more but then it gets to deeper

I don’t have the right to ask any of them to leave as they have the same right to remain in property as solicitor has said

You don’t have the right to ask them to leave the house you all currently co own but you don’t have to agree to any of them moving into your own home. The 50% is your money. Do as you please with it, don’t tell anyone whether you use some of the money for decorating or not. It’s not their business.

Your husband was a sick not giving you a life interest in your home. Children are awful human beings. Good luck for the future, big hugs x

Don't let your youngest move in. She's got a bloody nerve.

Do equity release , spent ot all and enjoy your life so that when you die there is nothing left . Who would do that to their mother ffs !

If they aren't your dc then your dh solicitor let him down massively by letting him make that will knowing what you would have to do! Quite shocking !

I agree. What entitled brats your children are! You need to tell your children that none of them will be living with you, and what you do with your finances is your affair, nothing to do with them.

However, your husband's will sounds very strange, and whoever advised him needs their head looking at.

I’m not sure how legally this can happen as if you were married the house was a joint asset.But as it has happened and a solicitor has checked it is legal and advised your issue now are the children.

have you sold the house already? If so no none of your children are to ever live with you, because of their greed you have lost your home. So you have your half and buy yourself a little flat and no do not consider any of them staying with you ever.

I’m sorry that’s happened to you it sounds awful the children should have not have ever had their share whilst you are alive as it was your home.

Get a lodger so you can manage financially, but don't let kids live with you. I hope you have a will which leaves the kids a quid each and the rest to charity. They should be ashamed.

The will does sound very strange. Usually everything goes to the surviving spouse. Shocking behaviour by your children and the executors of the will. I hope the move to your new home goes well. Don't let your daughter move in. Shes looking for a free ride. Shes probably realised that she can't actually afford to live alone and so she's coming to leech off you. I'm sorry for your loss OP and wish you peace and quiet in your new home.

Was your name on the deeds of the house before your DH passed away?

OP buy the house you like with your 50%

If your daughter wants to live with you, charge her a sensible amount of rent. If she won’t pay, get a lodger instead.

Don’t use any of her inheritance on the house.

If you want to release equity - do so.
Tell her it’s your house and your choice. She has no say, end of debate.

If the house needs a bit too much spending on it, see if you can find another one that is in better condition or is cheaper.

So sorry for the loss of your husband. I’m sorry he made that bloody awful will.

💐

What a difficult situation for you, it sounds like you are carrying the weight of everything and have become a scapegoat for your families problems.

Your adult children should be pulling together and supporting you, emotionally and financially.

If there is any way to avoid taking equity release I would do it, even living in the new property and slowly doing the work as you get the money.
Can you get a female lodger to help with bills?

This in spades. And didn't you have mirror Wills? This set up is very unusual in an estate with no real assets other than the marital home. Your husband was either completely thoughtless or had a really crap solicitor

No name on deeds just his