DS 13 being moved to new foster placement and me not being contacted

[TheLovelinessOfDemons]

My DS has been in foster care for a year and we knew he was going to be moved. Social services haven't contacted me or the present foster carers, they rang DS yesterday and are picking him up today to take him God knows where.

As the only reason he's in foster care is bc I'm a widowed parent, in work and he has ADHD and needs an adult with him at all times, therefore my knowing his whereabouts won't threaten his safety in any way, can they legally move him without informing me?

In the past few years his DB moved in with my aunt bc he has an eating disorder and could eat there, his DF passed away and he's been taken away from me, as he sees it. I dread to think what this is doing to his mental health.

Is he in a section 20 or 31 order? Do you participate in his care reviews? Do you have a good relationship with his SW? They absolutely should involve you in discussion even if not decisions.

As the only reason he's in foster care is bc I'm a widowed parent, in work and he has ADHD and needs an adult with him at all times

In my 20 years of dealing with safeguarding issues I've never known this be a threshold for foster care unless you mean respite for a short period

Do they have a care order? If so they can move him without telling you but they shouldn't. They don't necessarily have to tell you where the placement is. If it's section 20 they should tell you where he is and shouldn't make any decisions without discussing with you.

Agree - don’t work directly in it but worked with children for years, and have family working in SS. Never heard of this arrangement being in place for a situation like OP’s. Something more has to be happening here, or it has to be respite care. Other DS also not living at home and feels he’s been “taken” from OP?

There's clearly more to it than OP said in the post but does it really matter? The reasons he is in care aren't that important. The question is about him being moved without her being told.

The two are quite likely to be linked.

and he's been taken away from me

Should we interpret that as him being removed without your agreement/consent?

There is no way that he has been moved into care for the reasons you have listed above.

Seriously, whatever the reasons a child has been removed it's still not ok to move their placement without informing the parent. Even if the parent poses a risk of abduction to the child they don't have to share the location but should tell them that they are being moved at a minimum.

Probably not. But that's not the question she was asking. Are you just here to stick the boot in?

Could it be that the foster placement has broken down and he needs an urgent new placement?

I agree that the reasons the child is in care is not what OP asked, but if we don’t have the absolute truth from OP, the answers we can give vary. If there’s more to the story, his care team might have good reason to not notify OP. It would be my belief that OP should have been notified ahead of time, of course, but there could be complexities to the case resulting in this happening.

also not asking for the absolute truth from OP. OP will share whatever OP wants to share - but just keeping in mind that OP might not be sharing the full story, which isn’t going to lead to accurate replies

I'm more surprised the current foster carers haven't been informed. Is it normal that social workers would contact a 13 year old child first?

Well it is relevant, because if OP isn't honest about the reasons, she might not be honest about any degree of risk that she is deemed to be.

Definitely not normal

Again the two are likely to be linked.
Without knowing the full details of why the DS is in foster care there are far too many variables to give an answer that is likely to be correct.

So neither of your children live with you? Somehow, because their mental health/additional needs are too complex for you to manage?

I suspect there's more to this...

Maybe the foster parents have been informed but have been asked not to disclose to OP?

There may be situations in which the parent wouldn't be told about a placement move. Very very rarely. But even if a parent poses a risk to the child they almost always should still be informed that the child is moving, even if the location is confidential.

ETA the fact that OP heard this from her DS suggests that she's having contact with him, so would not be someone who wouldn't be told about a placement move.

I am a widowed parent and my DD had a serious life threatening ED but at no point was there any suggestion that she should go into foster care-this sounds very strange.

Poor child. I hope he gets some stability.

Do you have any children living at home, @TheLovelinessOfDemons ?

I wondered that too if something happened with the placement.

It seems very unlikely that SS would tell the child he was leaving today but not the actual carers. I wondered whether it’s possible, for whatever reason, that the current carers have been informed, but were asked not to tell OP.

I wouldn't have thought the Foster carers didn't know that the person they are fostering was being moved today? It sounds like the OP got this from her son, so maybe he's picked it up wrong?

@TheLovelinessOfDemons You did know that he was going to be moved at some point. So did they give reasons for that?