DS 13 being moved to new foster placement and me not being contacted

[TheLovelinessOfDemons]

My DS has been in foster care for a year and we knew he was going to be moved. Social services haven't contacted me or the present foster carers, they rang DS yesterday and are picking him up today to take him God knows where.

As the only reason he's in foster care is bc I'm a widowed parent, in work and he has ADHD and needs an adult with him at all times, therefore my knowing his whereabouts won't threaten his safety in any way, can they legally move him without informing me?

In the past few years his DB moved in with my aunt bc he has an eating disorder and could eat there, his DF passed away and he's been taken away from me, as he sees it. I dread to think what this is doing to his mental health.

I’d rather be unemployed than have my child in foster care. This can’t be the only reason.

She knew a move was planned. She was not told it was finalised and when it was happening.

Oh FFS
obviously it's not the only reason. OP didn't even claim it was the only reason! Why are you so curious about why this woman's children are in care?

In the past few years his DB moved in with my aunt bc he has an eating disorder and could eat there, his DF passed away and he's been taken away from me, as he sees it. I dread to think what this is doing to his mental health

Whose mental health? That of your son with an eating disorder, or that of your son with ADHD? Has your son with ADHD been moved into foster care because of his behaviour? If so, why can’t your son with an eating disorder come home now his brother is elsewhere? Or do you yourself have problems?

You were informed that a move was happening but it’s clearly come suddenly and unexpectedly to you. Can you phone SS and ask for more details - or, at least, as much as they can tell you? You must know the reason you were given initially for the move, yes?

People calling out inconsistencies aren't wrong though, because if the reasons he's looked after aren't what she says (and as an ex foster carer, it wasn't something I heard of) there may be other reasons she isn't being told.

Highly HIGHLY unusual not to tell the foster carer though, and if he was at risk from the carers he should have been removed immediately and their caring agreement suspended pending investigation (or at least should). How do you know the present carers don't know OP? Has your son called you and told you they don't know or do the foster carers facilitate your contact and that's how you have spoken to them?

Surely it would be cheaper to give you direct payments for a carer rather than putting him in care?

I have met many, many naive social workers. You seem to be one of them. You are taking the OP's posts at face value. Do you seriously think that your fellow social workers would just whisk a child away like this, has supposedly happened?

OP you're using the term foster carer, however is it that the foster carer is friend or family to you, and that's how you know? I do know family members can go through the fostering assessments as the allowance they get then is more than if it were kinship care.
I only ask this as if the above is applicable, it could be that some of the terms of contact have been breached and if they were concerned about absconding, they wouldn't give prior notice. Although that doesn't explain why they told your son in advance.

Oh absolutely! Social workers can be disorganised, forgetful and absolutely do forget parents and keeping them informed in the process of finding a placement and arranging a move for a child. I'm not naive, I'm a social worker and now manager of many years experience. I've dealt with exactly this situation in SWs I have managed! It's not deliberate, they just forget to keep parents informed.

You've never heard of a child going into foster care because the parent wasn't able to give them the care they needed at home? Because that's what it boils down to, and of course it's a reason.

It's not sticking the boot in.

It's pointing out that the information is not sound. And querying what the point of asking a question on that basis is.

Because there'll be a reason for these logistics that would likely be very apparent with the correct information.

There might. But it's far far more likely that the social worker has forgotten to inform OP.

Is it usual not to tell the foster carers that a child is moving placement the next day? Just because they would normally have prior notice so that the childrens things can be packed and the goodbyes had by the family. That's the bit confusing me.

Exactly this.

OMG, there are some judgmental people on this post. The OP probably did not want to give you all of her business; she came with some questions to help herself. If you cannot be kind, don't comment and be nasty because that's what I'm seeing!

It's just hard to understand what is going on without any real information. Yes parents should be informed if their child is being moved placement but sometimes there are measures in place so that they can't be told this.

The problem is that the OP was asking for opinions on a situation where she had clearly not shared much/any of the pertinent information.

No, of course not! But a crap social worker very well might

Yeah that's fair comment.

OP is probably not coming back.

If people aren’t told the truth about why the child was taken into care, they can’t give an informed answer about whether the OP should have been told about his move.

I don’t think anyone can give the OP the answers she is looking for because we don’t know the situation.

In some circumstances children can be moved at very short notice, in some circumstances parents will not be informed of the child’s whereabouts, in some circumstances parents will not be informed of the move before it happens. In some circumstances current foster parents will be asked not to discuss the move with the parents, and indeed might not know why or where the child has been moved.

Probably not the only reason, but it does seem to be the OP is suggesting.

We don’t know the full story. I am a single parent to a teen with severe autism, she needs 24 hour care, I can’t work, I have begged SS many times for help so I can work and I’m basically laughed at because I can claim carers allowance and UC to allow me to not work and look after my dd. She’s now 18 and even though she’s an adult social services still expect me to care for her and not work. So he’s, I’m sure there’s a lot more to OP’s story because 1000’s of parents are in the same position and don’t get their kids taken into care. And it is relevant to OP’s post because there may well be reasons why SS have not told her that her son is being moved to another foster home.