DS 13 being moved to new foster placement and me not being contacted

[TheLovelinessOfDemons]

My DS has been in foster care for a year and we knew he was going to be moved. Social services haven't contacted me or the present foster carers, they rang DS yesterday and are picking him up today to take him God knows where.

As the only reason he's in foster care is bc I'm a widowed parent, in work and he has ADHD and needs an adult with him at all times, therefore my knowing his whereabouts won't threaten his safety in any way, can they legally move him without informing me?

In the past few years his DB moved in with my aunt bc he has an eating disorder and could eat there, his DF passed away and he's been taken away from me, as he sees it. I dread to think what this is doing to his mental health.

Could all the people that want to de tail the thread back off so the op can get the answers and advice they were looking for?

Questioning the reasons behind the foster care is not sticking the boot in. There is no way a child is taken into foster care for a whole year because Mum works. So the OP is not telling the full truth which may be linked to what SS never told her he was being moved

Tha'ts not a reason to be in foster care.

Unless you elaborate with the real story, no one can really advise you.

This'll be one OP who never returns, frightened away by the Nest of Vipers.

No-one so far on here derailing the thread? The question asked by OP doesn't give sufficient information to answer the question, so people are trying to work out whether the question answer should be a yes or a no?

Yes to this.

Also yes to this.

It really isn't likely. Parents have the right to be kept informed about their children unless they are the very tiny number of highly dangerous people who would not have any contact with their children - whereas OP clearly does.

It doesn't sound as though social services are refusing to tell you his new address so much as a planned move is now moving at pace and you haven't been updated.

When your dc is moved you should get the information you need although this may not include the address of a foster carer.

Sometimes foster moves are planned and organized often they can be a scrabble when the right place unexpectedly opens up.

I have recent experience of a (non authority) foster carer being unable to share something very serious with birth family because their own contact worker told them they couldn't. Could it be something like this?

Something very serious == the fact that the child is moving placement.

Honestly, it would be almost impossible that the OP is deliberately not being informed about a placement move. That is not acceptable practice.

OP, I never usually do this but I looked at some of your other posts because I wanted to see if they gave us any clue about whether this is a respite arrangement or something long term, which might help people answer. I saw mention as recently as last month of a partner, so have you very recently been bereaved and aren’t coping? Is this an arrangement with a family member for a short respite for you? If you can give some more answers people with good knowledge of the system will be better able to help.

First line of OP's post: "My DS has been in foster care for a year"

Both her sons have been taken out of her care. There's a lot we're not being told here.

It's terrible that you were widowed, OP. But I've seen other posters on Mumsnet being in denial about why their children were taken away from them, and blaming the system instead of thinking about why it had happened.

She's not asking why it happened. This line of questioning of the OP is really unfair. She doesn't owe anyone here the whole story. She was asking a question and hopefully now has answers. Why should she come back here and give information she doesn't want to share?

Exactly. There’s definitely more to it than this

Because she is asking a question and if people don't know the full story they can't give a correct answer.

If she didn't want to share the details she shouldn't have posted.

There are experts in this field saying they have never come across this and its not a reason for FC so she is right to be questioned further.

Don't like to be questioned Don't post.

The reasons for him being in care absolutely are important. He isn’t safe to be with her which is why he’s in care. So why should she know where he is?

Well without "the whole story", or at least a genuine version of it, how can anyone advise the OP?

Is it legal to remove a child from one foster carer to another carer without informing the parent? - of course it is. Depending on the circumstances

It’s very strange isn’t it? OP mentioned her son would eat at his aunt’s place but not his own home? Why? What about the environment was so reinforcing for his ED? And then to have another child in the home be taken into care? Because of ADHD & a single parent household?

It’s really not adding up at all

If her son needs constant supervision and was presenting as a danger to himself or others then he may be in care on the basis of being "beyond parental control". Regardless though, OP should be told where he is.

Unless OP - or someone in her life, or the previous foster carers - is a threat to her son.

I'm a FC and occasionally this does happen. The SW decides if a parent will be given new location cation of a DC or not. The parent would always be told their DC has been moved though, just not always told where, if SS deems it inappropriate for DC to know.

One thing I’ve learned in life is when something doesn’t make sense it’s because you don’t know the whole story

I'm a foster carer.

I've never heard of a child being moved without the carers knowing.

Are you sure there's not more to this than meets the eye as, where possible, they will always endeavour to keep children and parents together? ...

I even know of a single family where the parent has to work. The parent was struggling and approached children's services about having their child taken into care. Children's services even offered to pay for after school care so that the child doesn't have to go into foster care (it's hugely expensive for them).

(I wouldn't suggest this to anyone struggling to pay child care costs as it had the potential to backfire)!