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Legal matters

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Child protection

367 replies

Fairypick · 11/05/2024 21:42

Hi, this is my story and am looking for any advice or guidance in regards to my post. Please don’t judge.

Almost 10 years ago I had my second child and at around 8 months old they sustained unexplained none accidental injuries these were the injuries caused from the Drs review:
2014 baby was presented by his mother at his GP surgery with bruising and swelling to his feet, she was unable to offer any explanation to how an immobile child could have sustained these injuries, baby was then referred to Hospital and examined by a doctor. Baby was found to have linear bruising on the tops of the right foot as well as bruising on the tip of the right big toe and diffuse bruising on the soles of both feet. There was also a small 0.5 superficial scratch on top of baby’s chest and a small 5mm linear bruise on the posterior aspect of baby’s left ear. A skeletal survey also found baby to have 6 healing fractures to the ribs, which appeared to be old ones.
There were concerns that the injuries may have been caused by either mother or her partner (not the. Baby’s farther) and they were arrested and bailed with no further action due to no evidence an interim court order was granted. It is noted that in a court of law and family court the judge determined either mother or her partner had caused the injuries and a Lancashire finding was accepted as neither mother or partner were accepting responsibility for causing the injuries that baby had sustained although the blamed each other at the time of the incident.
As part of this section 47 enquiry SW spoken to both in question about the injuries and they both remain clear that they did not cause the injuries to baby nor can they explain what happened or how it happened. Mother also shared that if she had of caused the injuries she would not have taken her baby to get treatment as she knows this would have got her into trouble. Almost 11 years on me and my partner are now expecting our first baby together, there has been no DV in almost 7 years and we have remained very positive in our relationship since and very much looking forward to the arrival of our new born baby. We were made subjected to a child protection order in January due to a referral and we were very open and honest about this, we have worked very closely openly and honestly with the LA since the order was made and have never dismissed anything to them. We are due to have a review conference shortly before our baby is born and we currently scored a 3 and this still remains a score of 3 in the report from the SW before the next review meeting. However despite working extremely hard and jumping through many hoops we were informed that they will be seeking legal advice and can not define an answer as to what will happen next this was not mentioned in the very first meeting, we have completed all the assessments and tasks even agreed to any plan needed to ensure we get to be a family and keep our newborn baby, no pre birth plan has been completed yet either. The reason being that that they are seeking legal advice from what they have said is is that we are both saying now that we don’t think either of us caused the injuries, LA didn’t realise the seriousness of the past case either. We have consent to having a virtual baby for 48hrs and will do anything in our power to show and demonstrate we are no risk at all. We understand that they have a duty to ensure children are protected and especially newborn a babies we have never dismissed that, yes it’s difficult to tell what happened or why it happened as we do not know ourself, yes I admit I did at that time failed to safeguard my child who sadly sustained injuries. What am asking is really what do you think will happen, do we stand a chance of keeping our newborn baby and maintaining as a family unit or are we losing a fighting battle that we have worked so very hard for? I fully understand their worries and concerns but surely with a lot of positives and the length of time passed we could be given a chance at this? We are more then happy to be placed in a mother and baby unit, a foster placement or a supervision order, the last thing we want is to have our baby removed. Any advice or experience would be much appreciated and please don’t judge we are not horrible bad people just two people who would very much like the opportunity to show we can care, protect and love our child to the best of our ability with the support of the LA until they feel satisfied that the risks are no longer there. Yes they have expressed in their report that they think the new born baby will potentially be at significant risk of harm when born, but surely if we are not given a chance to prove this wrong they is that not fair at all? We have been told to keep providing for our baby and that they don’t know what the plan of the next steps will be although they have expressed that we have engaged positively since the very beginning and that no DV has been present for many years also.
Thank you for your understanding.

OP posts:
LuckysDadsHat · 11/05/2024 21:50

Was your first baby taken into care? Or have they remained with you?

Are you also saying you think your partner caused the injuries? You say no more DV was this to the baby?

IAmThe1AndOnly · 11/05/2024 21:52

Was your baby removed?

The reality is that no-one can tell you what will happen. And let’s be honest. No-one ever admits to harming their baby, and the level of injuries you’ve described can’t have happened accidentally. Someone abused that baby, and if I knew it wasn’t me, then I would have got rid of the partner. So why didn’t you?

Jellycatspyjamas · 11/05/2024 21:59

yes it’s difficult to tell what happened or why it happened as we do not know ourself

With the greatest of respect, one of you knows what happened. Immobile babies don’t develop those kinds of injuries without someone else being involved.

Assuming it’s a pregnancy with the same partner you were with when your infant was injured, and given neither of you are showing any insight into what happened, as a social worker I’d be looking to remove any children coming into the relationship. Different if you both took responsibility for what happened and were able to evidence changes in your relationship and behaviours. But if you’re telling me neither of you have any idea how an 8 month old in your care came to sustain serious injuries, I’d be foolish to leave another infant in your care, because if you have no idea how it happened you equally have no idea how to prevent it happening again.

indianwoman · 11/05/2024 21:59

IAmThe1AndOnly · 11/05/2024 21:52

Was your baby removed?

The reality is that no-one can tell you what will happen. And let’s be honest. No-one ever admits to harming their baby, and the level of injuries you’ve described can’t have happened accidentally. Someone abused that baby, and if I knew it wasn’t me, then I would have got rid of the partner. So why didn’t you?

This. It's ridiculous to suggest that you don't know how a baby got all those injuries, especially the broken ribs. If you didn't do it then it must be your partner, is this the same one? Why on earth would you stay with him if so?

If you did do it, then admit it and prove you have got help to deal with your issues.

nocoolnamesleft · 11/05/2024 22:03

One of you seriously abused that baby. And whichever one of you it was didn't admit what they did. The one who knows they didn't do it, from the sound of it, either helped with the cover up, or at least stayed with a partner they knew must have injured their baby. I should bloody well hope that social services are taking this very seriously, to try to protect your future baby.

TokyoSushi · 11/05/2024 22:03

What happened to the baby? Is this the same partner? It must have been somebody, if it wasn't you, then your partner is the must likely candidate, unless somebody else was very closely involved?

I'd say it's going to be a difficult road...

Pterodacty1 · 11/05/2024 22:03

Is your current partner the same partner who was the co-accused in the previous child abuse charge?

Scottishgirlinwales · 11/05/2024 22:05

Was your baby removed from your care?

Are you with the same partner ?

blackandgold88 · 11/05/2024 22:06

You say there’s been no DV in the last 7 years but it this happened 11 years ago? So he’s been violent to you in the past?

QueenOfTheEntireFuckingUniverse · 11/05/2024 22:07

but surely if we are not given a chance to prove this wrong they is that not fair at all?

While i understand what you're saying, the issue SS have is that if you "prove them right" then another baby has been seriously harmed. They can't risk that.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 11/05/2024 22:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BodyKeepingScore · 11/05/2024 22:09

If you are absolutely adamant that you did not cause those injuries to your baby then your partner is lying to you and it was him. There is literally no other explanation if you are being truthful here. You say about being given the chance to prove yourself... the reality is that in taking that chance SS take the view that they would be leaving a child at serious risk and I'd be inclined to believe them. I cannot see any way that you can remain in your relationship and keep your baby. If you were to leave your partner and fully engage with SS (eg mum and baby placement) you'd likely stand a much better chance of the baby remaining in your care. Given the seriousness of the injuries inflicted on your elder child whilst they were a young, immobile baby, I don't think the odds are in your favour though.

HugeCwtch · 11/05/2024 22:09

blackandgold88 · 11/05/2024 22:06

You say there’s been no DV in the last 7 years but it this happened 11 years ago? So he’s been violent to you in the past?

Yes at least 4 years of DV. Assuming op is being honest with us (or herself)

Bambinomino · 11/05/2024 22:10

If this is the same partner that the previous baby was with, and you KNOW you did not injure your baby, then it MUST have been him that hurt the baby.

In which case, no, you should not as a couple be given a chance to injure another baby.

BodyKeepingScore · 11/05/2024 22:11

In your position I'd also be asking myself why I trust a man not to have harmed my baby when he's clearly capable of DV towards me... the man is an abuser. That much is fact.

FuckTheClubUp · 11/05/2024 22:12

do we stand a chance of keeping our newborn baby

I hope not. You had an 8 month old who was seriously abused by either yourself or your partner (who wasn’t her dad). If you’re 100% certain that it wasn’t you, then why stay with the person who clearly abused your baby?

You don’t mention whether your baby was taken into care but I imagine they were otherwise you wouldn’t be wondering if you’re able to keep the baby you’re currently pregnant with. Why you’d have a baby with a man who most likely abused your child (if it wasn’t you) is out of this world. I’m very grateful that SS are on the ball and taking this as seriously as they are.

You asked for no judgement but it’s extremely hard to read that and not judge either of you

FuckTheClubUp · 11/05/2024 22:14

There were concerns that the injuries may have been caused by either mother or her partner (not the. Baby’s farther)

Just to clear up some of the comments, it seems that the partner is not the father of the baby who was abused. That same partner is the father of the baby that the OP is pregnant with (unless I’ve seriously misunderstood)

NeverDropYourMooncup · 11/05/2024 22:15

You're still with the man who abused your first baby.

This one's going to be protected from the pair of you - thankfully.

keffie12 · 11/05/2024 22:16

To be blunt (I'm experienced in this area of the law) if they already have a child protection order, the high chances are they will want your baby removed.

They won't tell you that, though, for many reasons and will deny it if you ask them. That's why they have the order so they can easily remove your baby.

My best advice to you is to find a local solicitor who deals with social service cases. You need a solicitor who is trained in this.

I am sorry I have had to be so blunt. However, I want you to understand the gravity of the situation.

I am well versed in how social services work. I know they make you jump through hoops, have expectations beyond belief, and move the goal posts regularly. This is why I have said this so you go and her legal advice as they will tie you up in knots at a very vulnerable time for you.

It is also important in this where your first baby is now. You don't say whether he/she is with you or/and still in your life

Blueeyedmale · 11/05/2024 22:17

Well I'm sorry to be blunt one of you is a bad person,a child got hurt and you still don't know what happend,there has been dv,there is no way this child is going to have a loving home

WittyFatball · 11/05/2024 22:19

So almost 10 years ago the man you were in a relationship with very severely abused your 8 month old baby including breaking his ribs, and you decided to stay with him.
He was then also violent to you/there was violence in your relationship.
Now you have decided to have another baby with this man?

It does sound like your new baby is at very serious risk - one parent is capable of inflicting extreme violence on a baby and the other parent is incapable of keeping the baby safe.

IAmThe1AndOnly · 11/05/2024 22:20

My partner’s mother sought help for his injuries as well, and was adamant she didn’t know how they happened. She engaged with her hv and social services.

my partner has lifelong disabilities because of the injuries she caused.

I really hope this baby is removed at birth.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 11/05/2024 22:21

It is evident that one of you injured your previous child in a severe manner. If you haven’t accepted this and made any changes requested, then yes, you would deservedly have this child removed for their own safety

nameshame24 · 11/05/2024 22:22

IAmThe1AndOnly · 11/05/2024 21:52

Was your baby removed?

The reality is that no-one can tell you what will happen. And let’s be honest. No-one ever admits to harming their baby, and the level of injuries you’ve described can’t have happened accidentally. Someone abused that baby, and if I knew it wasn’t me, then I would have got rid of the partner. So why didn’t you?

Exactly this. If I knew it wasn't me, there was only one other person it could be. I wouldn't be with them at all never mind having another baby with them.
I think you also have to understand what a massive risk it would be for the LA to allow a child to be left in yours and your partners presence when there are still questions left unanswered as to what happened to that poor baby 10 years ago Sad

SonicTheHodgeheg · 11/05/2024 22:24

If the man you were with 10 years ago is the man who is the father of your baby, then I hope that the baby is taken away.

If you didn’t hurt the baby, then you know who did unless there were other people looking after the baby too. You are not safeguarding your second child either and I hope that social services act decisively.

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