Neighbour taken mother's car keys..... would the police intervene

[whenlifegivesyoulemonssuckonthem]

Simple facts.

Neighbour has done a lot for mum over the years
He has now convinced himself she has dementia and she can't drive
He wants me to put her in a home

The ulterior motive is He wants to buy mums house for his son and buy mums car.

I live 300 miles away and do what i can. Only this weekend I got her admitted to hospital for an assessment I didn't think she needed as I was with her the week before last. She passed flying colours.

He took her keys off her three weeks ago and I made him give them back then he had a go at me for letting her drive.

Now he's walked into her house taken her keys again and said she won't be needing them again.

I've threatened the police if he doesn't give them back but worried its an idle threat.

Definitely involve the police. This is theft, harassment and intimidation. I’d consider seeking a non-molestation order.

Can your mum oerhaps pretend the house has akready been transferred to you? Old people get harassed far less when people believe they have no property.

You need to change the door keys. No way the NDN can go in and out of her house like this.
And emptying the fridge because they didn’t think she would come back 😱😱 On which planet are they??

Then have the keys back again.

What does your mum think about the NDN? Is she in good terms or does she think he is a pain?

@SeatonCarew

i think OP meant to say “as good as”
not “a good shag”

OP call the police. Will she listen to you and not engage with him?

That does make more sense. I was a bit taken aback by the alternative!

Me too!

This is really sinister. You can't take any half measures here, he needs to be thoroughly frightened off.

Locks changed, ring doorbell and police immediately.

This. Even if she did have dementia he can't just walk into her house and help himself to her things.

100% ring the police!

I am totally baffled as to why you are not calling the police with great urgency!

Get a locksmith over there to change the locks, don't give anyone else a key! This is unbelievable. He's a scammer, grifter, conman, thief. I don't understand allowing one's mother to be treated this way by criminals and not phoning the police.

• Call the police and get them to have a word
• Change the barrel locks on the doors
• Get Ring or similar so you can monitor record and communicate remotely (ie you can tell him to get the F off the porch and leave your mother alone from your own living room)
• If your mother feels she needs his help in case she falls or similar. Organise one of those panic button things you wear around your neck.
• Separately I would consider organising a cease and dissent type solicitors letter to arrive concurrent to police to really put the fear into them

I am a PA for a disabled lady and if this was happening to her I’d be reporting it to the police without hesitation.
Does your mum have any friends or other family close by? Anyone else you could ask to keep an eye on her or could you contact social services and let them know you are concerned?

OP, you know the NDN are out of order but are you worried that if you kick off about it, that your DM won't have their support? I guess you feel guilty that you are so far away and can't help practically but I really feel that you have to alert social services or even the Police. At least get professional advice about the situation.

OP, I would check that the neighbour hasn't got access to your mum's bank card too.
My family had a similar situation with my great uncle a few years ago, who was living alone more than a hundred miles away, his wife had died, with no immediate family and relatives living near by.
His "helpful friend" who started as an odd job man but saw a main chance also had door keys...along with a bank card to "pick up some shopping"
Within a year he'd persuaded my great uncle to give him his two cars, there was missing jewellery and had cleaned out his bank account.
When my uncle was admitted to a
care home the helpful friend dropped him off with just a single suitcase of tatty clothes. He very nearly signed his very large bungalow over to this "friend" too. After his death the police were involved but could do nothing...he ended up with a very large share of my uncle's sizeable estate.
I used to visit him with my parents every three months or so, we noticed the cars were missing, but he said he'd sold them,and we didn't know the extent of the deception until he was admitted to the care home.
Change the locks, OP!
My lovely great uncle was fiercely independent, but he thought this man was his friend.
Apparently it happens quite a lot.

Not sure if I read this correctly but did you say she got the car through Motability? If so, you can call them for advice.

Is she safe to drive, though? Have you seen her driving recently? You don't want to wait until she has an accident for her to be made to stop driving if she actually is unsafe now.

This!

When did you last see her?

This might not be sinister. He may well be looking out for her.

I think you need to go to her and sort this tbh. Only so much you can do from 300 miles away.

That's a separate issue and not for the neighbour to decide. He has stolen her keys. That's theft.

If it’s a mobility car he could end up in very hot water… Get them and police involved

Yes change the locks OP!

Capacity or not is nothing to do with her neighbour. If he feels she is a danger driving there are proper channels. Taking her keys is theft.
Call the police, it sounds like neighbour is trying to take advantage, maybe coerce her into selling to him.

Eh? Why have you left her? It must be terrifying for your mum. Call the police to get the car key back and get the house locks changed asap for fuck’s sake.

Yes, but the OP could have taken the keys instead of making the neighbour give them back to her mother last time. If this woman genuinely is unsafe on the road then someone needs to take action to prevent an accident.

Jesus this is scary!

Don’t make him return the keys - get the locks changed.

Someone like this I wouldn’t put it past him to have copies. Or to help himself to other things.
Get police involved
Get car key back
change the locks
tell your my to never open the door to him again.