Neighbour taken mother's car keys..... would the police intervene

[whenlifegivesyoulemonssuckonthem]

Simple facts.

Neighbour has done a lot for mum over the years
He has now convinced himself she has dementia and she can't drive
He wants me to put her in a home

The ulterior motive is He wants to buy mums house for his son and buy mums car.

I live 300 miles away and do what i can. Only this weekend I got her admitted to hospital for an assessment I didn't think she needed as I was with her the week before last. She passed flying colours.

He took her keys off her three weeks ago and I made him give them back then he had a go at me for letting her drive.

Now he's walked into her house taken her keys again and said she won't be needing them again.

I've threatened the police if he doesn't give them back but worried its an idle threat.

OP says in her OP that she was with her mother the week before last.

"If your mum is disabled and living alone, she needs a carer."

How utterly fucking ableist and ignorant!

My mum was disabled by RA for 30 years. She worked to 62, she drove until she died. She travelled all over the world. She lived happily alone.

She had a cleaner from 65, and a gardener from 67. If anyone had dared suggest she needed a carer just because she lived alone she would have verbally taken them down until they were destroyed.

Being disabled doesn't automatically mean someone needs a carer ffs.

You can't see the contradiction in that?

If you thought your elderly vulnerable parent was well would you make them go to A and E to potentially sit for hours upon hours( will take much longer if they are well) before they are reviewed?

And she passed- what?? a capacity assessment? Again that doesn't make sense- capacity assessments are decision specific. You can have capacity to decide what to have lunch but not be safe to decide on finances.

Which is exactly why a ' capacity assessment ' is nonsensical unless the person has absolutely no mental health/ memory issues at all.

You cant do capacity assessments. You determine if the person has capacity to make a certain decision., or say they don't have any mental/ memory concerns.

So it's not clear what they assessed- memory problems or physical health problems.

Very confidently wrong...

Be careful op, the next thing you know he’ll get her to sign a will and leave everything to him. You have to be careful of these coffin chasers. I’d be straight up there. Phone in sick to work and get there. Call the police, SS and a locksmith. Get those car keys back.

If it’s a Motobility car
she can’t sell it to him as it’s leased
he won’t be insured to drive it unless your mum added him and if Motobility find he’s driving it and it’s not insured they will boot your mum off the scheme

They don’t stop as soon as you reach state pension age

Because he was telling her that her mum was having some sort of crisis she is 300 miles away and believed he was telling the truth

Not read the full post but if car is on Motability it can’t be sold to him anyway it’s there’s
also they would not be happy with an uninsured person having the keys do you could also report it to them they may help with police if you have to call them

Easier said than done. I know two separate cases of people who tried not to sell their properties to people they disliked. Both got stung. Ended up selling their properties far cheaper to "someone else" who turned out to be a front man for the original buyer. So the people they didn't want to sell their property to still ended up with it but at a much cheaper price.

This is beyond belief. If it was me I'd move there for a short while, change locks, refuse him entry. Is there anyway you could go stay for a while?

well this is the issue - the OP has rather foolishly let her mother be overly reliant on a neighbour who isn't qualified to make these assessments

There is no doubt this is elder abuse and theft. Make a police complaint and make it clear to your neighbour that you are making the complaint and he needs to clear off. Is there someone you can rely on, such as a cleaner who can visit the property and keep an eye on things?

How do you know he's a coffin chaser? The level of vitriol against the neighbour on this thread is wild. The OP should stop relying on informal care/odd job men and get there and sort it out herself immediately.

I live in the North of Scotland, my mum.lives in the northwest of England. I was down in London today for a work meeting hence trying to deal.with this from city airport.

Thanks everyone.

I saw my mum for the whole week the week before last and I was the one who gave her keys back to her then.

She has phoned the police and motability and they will be back in touch tomorrow morning.

I have been wary of causing too many issues up.to.today just because he has been a lot of help but he's gone too far.

And for those offended by my comments about my mums driving in general. It's something we have a laugh about and I've said it.to her face.

Thanks all and I'll.update when there are any developments

Unfortunately if the assessment you are referring to is one that the doctors do to look for signs of dementia, it’s pretty meaningless and possible to pass with ‘flying colours’ even when there is definitely something wrong.
How do you know that the neighbour wants her house and car? How could he get the car if it’s not even hers? And surely if his argument is that she doesn’t have capacity to make decisions, how would he expect her to be able to sell her house to him? Are you sure he’s not actually concerned about her and that you don’t see the full picture cos you’re so far away?

Even if the neighbour is genuinely concerned, it's not his place to take her keys.

Because if you think your neighbour shouldn't be driving you report it to the relevant authorities you don't steal their car keys

I would want to hear the other side of this. The OP admits that her mum is a dreadful driver, and seems to think that this inability to drive properly is funny rather than concerning. Has the neighbor seen some concerning behavior behind the wheel?

I visit my mum one week in every five. I wfh so.spend a full week with her. I have not abandoned her. She doesn't have a carer or home help because she won't bloody have one. Her disability is arthritis.

Ndn was insured on her car so he always had a set of keys. He's taken her set as.well. I don't know why he was on it but he was. He is not anymore.

He ignoring me, my mum, my DH and my uncle who have all tried phoning him. Uncle banged on door and he didn't answer.

Fine, but that doesn't make him a coffin chaser. Tbh the OP's mother sounds pretty reliant on this neighbour who sees a lot of her and while a clearly a bit off for him to take the keys it doesn't necessarily mean he has completely evil motives particularly as they've all been acting in an informal ad hoc way rather than going through any professionals for anything.

OP, I hope it all gets sorted out. It does sound a bit worrying but if you can access any professional help I hope you do, and then the neighbour won't be needed for anything and your mind can be at ease.

You need to contact the police asap , you also need go change her locks . Is her house owned ? If it’s ok to ask

I'm 100% certain this happened to me when my dad died.

She owns her house. In the short term she's left her key on the inside so he can't get in.

We will see what tomorrow brings.

Thanks akk.