ex husband has reappeared and wants money

[ItGetsBetter]

After 13 years of no contact, no maintenance, my ex husband has been in touch on social media.

In 2008, he vanished abroad, draining our bank account, leaving me in massive debt and with our baby son.

During the marriage, he put 90k inheritance from his father, into a second property.

When he left I sold it. It took two years to sell.

The money I used to pay off the debts he left me with and keep the mortgage paid on our house, and keep myself and my son going. I worked as many hours as I could.

I was able to divorce him as he cropped up on an internet search and my solicitor dealt with him. The divorce judge ordered that he pay all costs but he was never around so I paid.

There was no financial settlement.

I paid for a court order to legally change my son's surname to mine, which the court agreed to.

My former husband has now emerged demanding some of his inheritance back.
Our son is 13 and suffered a serious illness aged 4-8yrs (cancer). I could not work. We were constantly in hospital/chemo/vinc and dex etc.

We are back on our feet now, my son is thriving and I have bought us a small ex-council house outright so that we are financially safe.

I have never had another relationship.

My ex husband wants me to find a lawyer and get a 'legally binding agreement' to get his share of his inheritance back.

I have no idea where I stand or what to do. I don't think my ex lives in this country. I think he is still in Thailand or Cambodia or wherever.

Does he legally have rights to his money back?

I should say - after 13 years of hell, paying debts, keeping ds alive, buying our little house, I literally don't have any money anymore.

Thanks

He is threatening me now

with what?

he seems to want you to do the leg work and get the solicitor and pay them to sort out his legal affairs...

just tell him the solicitor says he's busy right night but will work on it soon

I remember you and your amazing son UA. I'm so pleased to hear that he is 5 years clear now. All the very best to you both

As much as posters are telling you to just block and ignore, I would tread with extreme caution and would seek some legal advice.

As there was no clean break order he may well be entitled to assets from the marriage and even subsequent to that. There have been cases where ex’s have been able to sue their now ex’s for money they have acquired since the split purely because there was no clean break order on divorce.

There is no doubt that he is a complete bastard, but you need to cover your back here and find out legally what you’re up against.

You don’t need to communicate with him, but you do need to communicate with a solicitor to find out the score.

As The house being in your name is irrelevant, it was a marital asset and by law he would have been entitled to half of it. The debts incurred etc may well offset that fact but you need to find that out and then wait and see what he does.

@ItGetsBetter
I remember you well, you were so kind to me at a horrible time in my life.
I'm so pleased to hear that your son is well, and I wish you and your son so much happiness in the future. All the very best to you both UA.

Firstly ignore the fucker totally, he can come back and sort it if he wants the money. I hope he has no idea where you live.DO NOT respond at all or do anything on his behalf.
If you don't have a clean break settlement stamped by the court he can indeed claim money from you at any time in the near future, this is why clean break settlements are so very important. You need to go to a solicitor for an interim chat with the details and find out what you can be stung for should he come back to this country and start legal action.
One of my friends ex wife went to court for more money 10 years after the divorce and because they didn't have a clean break settlement she did get more money.
The soilicitor will look at all the facts and figures and will tell what if any money you are liable for.
My ex husband decided he wanted more money and went to court to try and overturn our clean break order - he was not successful and ended up with a massive bill.
I would think the fact you paid for the house sale and court costs that were not yours would act in your favour but you must get proper advice.

Spoke to my solicitor at length yesterday.
He was super and didn't charge me.

He said that because my ex has remarried, he has no claim over anything.

Since the ex has publicly announced that he remarried in his online articles - which I have copies of - and texted to say that leaving me was 'the best decision of his life' and that's it's now been '12 years of bliss,' I am guessing it might be difficult for him to say the marriage was illegal under Thai law even if it was.

Narcissists don't mind losing face however. They have a tragic ability to delude themselves. They really think they are something special, they re-write history and believe the re-write.

My guess is he's aiming to return to the UK now that he's mid-fifties and had his fun.

Congratulations OP 🎉

turns out his own vanity has been his downfall ... thank goodness for that article 🌺

I remember your original threads too OP. Glad to hear your son is doing well. Good luck in the future.