My husband has been paying for lap dancing and escorts through his company. He said he would take legal action against me if I told anyone.

[watchout]

Sorry, shaking at the thought of this. I'm at my dads. I've left him.
But if he, through expenses, in a limited company has paid for lap dancing clubs - can I share this? Would it be subject to a freedom of information request?
He said if I told anyone he would take legal action.

I get you are hurting but do not be surprised if when you tell people they justify it away.
It will be seen as business. Something men must do to seal the deal
Mens sexual wants always come before morals

I fear you will need others to be as disgusted as you but then you will be devastated when they are not.
Just prepare for that OP.

If I were you I would gather as much financial and business info as possible and file for divorce.
He is not a good man. Not a good husband. Not a good father.

It’s not a legitimate business expense. And he certainly has no grounds to take legal action against you for telling anyone (friend, family or HMRC!)

Before you tell others.

@Lifeinthedeep thank you. Just thank you x

Defamation of character doesn't apply if it's true,

@Pityparty4one I'm not telling people because I'm ashamed! Not him.

No-one is having a go at the OP and no-one has said she shouldn’t confide in friends and family. You’re not reading properly if you think that’s what’s been said. People have said she should tell friends and family for support but that she should also think about how publicising this will impact her financially. No one has said she should just keep his dirty secret.

And you shouldn't be ashamed you have done nothing wrong.

Just gather the right info then divorce the twat.
He does not deserve you.

I’m so confused by the “you sound bitter” and “why would you want to ruin him” messages.

Because he’s ruined her life and she’s angry? People are allowed to feel emotions.

Best advice is as a pp said- use this as leverage for a quick divorce. Fucking prick.

In terms of Scotland, you need to be careful in case it is defamation. This is defined really quite broadly, so whatever you do affecting those other than your husband, take legal advice.

I wonder if your husband means he will sue you for libel or slander or whatever the version of this is in your jurisdiction- that is about the only thing I can think of. I think, as you need legal advice anyway for your divorce, you can also ask your lawyer if there are any grounds for this. Of course you can seek support privately (I cannot believe people are saying you should not), but whatever you put in the public domain should be legally watertight.

I am not sure really what putting names in the public domain will achieve though. It is not going to put the money back in the bank or your marriage back together.

I'm going to sleep on it . But really I'm feeling the need to share his dirty secret. It's not just lap dancing which is abhorrent but paying sex workers to visit him at his place of work while I was on maternity leave. He told me if I told anyone I'd be legally charged for damaging his business

@misspiggy19 My opinion of the OP has completely changed reading the above. You just sound like a bitter wife hell bent on revenge on your husband and sod anyone else.

really - the guys a arsehole, and you're worrying about her motives?? he is out fucking women in the sex trade, who probably don't even want to be there, taking other men with him, putting other families at risk from STDs etc.... and you're calling her a bitter wife wanting revenge? are you the exH?

“small specialty sector in industry”

It’s a bit naive to assume none of them know already. Maybe they know but don’t want someone like you and publicly shout about it creating a humiliating situation. It’s also naive to think none of those named will not lash back out at you. Are you prepared for the sort of shitstorm that would rain on you from the individuals you name (and maybe even their spouses)?

OP

1. you have NO NEED to feel any shame at all

2. You NEED every penny you can lay your hands on for your kids and yourself

3. tell whoever you want but I'd avoid the wives - let them find out from others. The news will spread like wildfire if it's a niche industry, otherwise it could all backfire on you. The business needs to remain viable to get the money your disgusting H owes you (see 2)

He done this. Not me. His business associates did this.
I hate the fact they exploit vulnerable women because they have the money to buy them to take their clothes off.
I hate the fact I married him.

I totally get it OP.
When your family and friends say "Why are you splitting up?", you are perfectly reasonable to say "because my darling husband was paying for lap dancers and strippers"
Don't keep his dirty secrets, but think smart before you start spreading it around to all and sundry.
Get a lawyer.

What a total twat for threatening you. It’s fraud. Plain and simple.

I posted my experience on your other thread - please just step away from the computer! Defamation and suing you for loss of earnings might be his pipe dream, but getting arrested for harassment is a very real consequence. Take the higher ground. Tell friends and family so you have support, but don’t post anything online or name his company!

I'm not in their industry (no wives at corporate do's) 🙄, but believe me I never thought my husband of 20 years would be able to live a double life. I'm devastated.

I agree with most of the posters, who say don't post anything online. when your family ask, just tell them, and think about the wives etc, but really think about it - once you have told them there is no going back

I just wish someone had told me, I could have left earlier

I think you can do whatever you want op. He's been a lying cheating tosser. You haven't done anything wrong. You are entitled to fight back and if he doesn't like it. Tough shit. I don't think he had such a dilemma when he was planning his lap dancing sessions. Neither should you.