My husband has been paying for lap dancing and escorts through his company. He said he would take legal action against me if I told anyone.

[watchout]

Sorry, shaking at the thought of this. I'm at my dads. I've left him.
But if he, through expenses, in a limited company has paid for lap dancing clubs - can I share this? Would it be subject to a freedom of information request?
He said if I told anyone he would take legal action.

Ok, i will leave it for now.
Sit tight if you are a man from the British Isles. I have the proof.

Do you have children?

If not I'd tell everyone.

I did similar with my ex. Ruined him.

It felt so good and I don't regret a thing.

I can't tell anyone why I'm suffering without telling people just how awful he is. So, I have no support as I'm keeping his dirty secrets. I'm ashamed. His shame has become mine.

I don't see why you can't tell your friends and family. You do need support. I don't think you should be hiding the reason that you have left him.

But I do think you should leave the business out of it.

I can't tell my family without the rest of the work industry finding out.

Don't tell people, tell HMRC.

If you own a business you can spend money on whatever you like, but some expenses cannot be included in the calculations when working out taxable profit. The business would be committing tax fraud if they are including these payments in allowable expenses.

Seems to me that the company is overdue for a visit from the tax inspectors.

Who knows what personal sacrifices those wives are making to support their husbands! I think it would be fair to tell them. I don't understand why people would be all oh they must never know.

You can’t ask your family to keep it to themselves?

You have done nothing wrong.

Anyway, the best thing you could do is get some real legal advice. Find a solicitor in the morning.

I don't see why it's an HMRC issue - if he was taking customer or colleagues and they ate dinner there as well it's a legitimate business meeting, company expense or company entertainment surely? The fact that women were shaking their bits in their face at the table and shagging them afterwards doesn't change that does it - tho makes him a massive prick.

I do think he's playing yoy - people who get their income through a limited company rather than PAYE have a vested interest in making that income and company profitability seem as small as possible come divorce time - I've seen it so many times. He'll hive a load off somewhere first of course.

Use it as leverage to get a quick divorce. That will give you fastest peace of mind. He has shown you his cards by threatening legal action if you reveal his secrets. Now you know how to play it. Got a good solicitor?

Surely you can tell people that he visited lap dancing clubs, if you feel you need support from friends and family? Just don't tell them who he went with or that he paid on company expenses.

It's a small specialty sector in industry.
I'm more ashamed than him, and he paid sex workers

To friends and family you can just say he hasn't been faithful?

Our house is a tip and he spent so much money on lap dancing. We have two small children who can't do all the activities they want. We don't go on holiday. Yet he pays vulnerable women to dance naked. He pays sex workers.
And yet I can't tell anyone.

Of course you can tell!

Tell everyone!

He has no legal recourse. Stop being a martyr for no reason!

He can’t take legal action, there is no cause of action in English law that covers this.

Well you can. But you need to properly think through the implications.
Unless you never need another penny from him, think twice about ruining his business. If you have children and live in a small community this will follow them for years.

He works in a small niche industry.
Can I tell the wives who I don't know in the British isles?

I don't want a penny from him

Of course you can! It’s true!

Does that include Scotland and Northern Ireland?

I don’t understand why everyone is having a go at the OP. If I was one of the wives then I would definitely want to know. Sounds like a lot of you on here have secrets you wouldn’t want your partner being told about.

I don't want a penny from him

Yes, you do. You have said you have two small children who can't do the activities they want to. You want every penny a SHL can get you.

Many of you are also suggesting that the op shouldn’t confide in friends and family despite going through emotional turmoil? Fuck him. He has behaved like a rancid bastard. Why should op protect his name?