Potential grandparent requesting DNA test..

[user1499775533]

Hi, was wondering if anyone knows if a potential paternal grandparent can request DNA by starting the mediation process etc. Any advive would be appreciated.

I would also stop posting on all social media concerning your children so grandmother doesn't have access to photos/info. She may not be a "friend" but doesn't mean someone else won't pass them along to her.

I don't know what that number means? I don't know original poster or any of The other members. I have DNA tested and reading the post, her doing the same might be wise so at least she knows. It is private and not court ordered, she doesn't have to tell anyone she is doing it.

I don't use social media and I'm a pretty private person. The solicitor i spoke to said there's a huge backlog in the family courts at the moment so could take months to get a hearing if any, she said the courts first have to sieve through cases to decide if they're that helpless that they couldn't sit a hearing etc. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. The mediation place have waivered anymore letters to my address because they know that she has and is wasting court time but they said they can't stop her from putting an application in, they can only advice.

That's very poor advice. The court don't "weed out" applications, and few courts fail to get private child cases listed outside the 8 -12 week zone. Every application is heard, although serious procedural defects may have to be remedied before it is listed.

A DNA test between siblings is actually quite pricey. It's much harder to compare siblings to parent and child.

And if you lie about having had it done that is serious stuff, and will destroy your credibility with the court.

If you don't believe your baby should meet her grandmother, that's your shout. The court may or may not agree with you. Although it is interesting to see how a court would set about DNA testing if the father doesn't want to know.

Ancestry have a sale on at the moment - £70 full price per DNA test. Usually around mothers day, father's day and DNA day there are sales.

Ive submitted 4 test recently and they do work rather well in predicting relationships based on shared DNA. Not 4 tests for me but 4 tests for 4 individual family members, including my own half sibling.

This was my initial question. How could a potential grandmother apply for contact if her son is not on the birth certificate and not interested because it could be any tom, dick or harrys child you're asking to spend time with and surely asking for a dna test would be a matter for the potential father to organise? I don't understand how an application based on this and never seeing the baby in question could even make a first hearing.

I suspect OP knows exactly who the father is and there is no one else it could possibly be, but is continuing with 'potential' and 'private matter' purely to avoid the grandmother knowing for definite. Even if this means denying her own child of knowing who her father is.

This was my initial question. How could a potential grandmother apply for contact if her son is not on the birth certificate and not interested because it could be any tom, dick or harrys child you're asking to spend time with and surely asking for a dna test would be a matter for the potential father to organise? I don't understand how an application based on this and never seeing the baby in question could even make a first hearing.

But you know she is the grandmother, and you trotting this line out time after time is simply a lie. You will be distracting the court's attention from the serious business of deciding whether she should get to see a second grandchild when all the judge is thinking is that you were prepared to lie over this.

Let's be honest, the family court is a secretive corrupt place where maybe your wishes aren't considered as the parents but i would love to know how they plan on enforcing my 1 year old to a 2 hourly contact without me, her main and only carer to a woman's house that she has never been and around people she has never seen. And in regards to dna surely that would be an issue because unless she was there when i conceived then there's a chance she isn't her granddaughter. She never reached out whilst i was pregnant so what right does she think she has to get my baby alone?

Why would dna be an issue? GM makes application. Judge says any objections. You spout a load of stuff about parentage is a private matter etc. Judge asks is she or is she not the GM. You say....? What? Yes she is. Judge considers matter. Or no she isn't. GM says that's a lie. Judge says OK and orders a DNA test.

There isn't a judge there at the first hearing. It's usually 3 magistrates and a court advisor or whoever he was, and a cafcass officer is meant to be there too-cafcass are there to represent the child in question. I just think the whole process isn't right and time these kind of courts are made public. To be honest i know they will possibly say she can apply for an order, i have no faith. Who am i afterall? Just the parent. And in regards to dna I'm not saying a word but if her son isn't bothered or trying to gain PA then what does that say to these people anyway?

And in regards to dna I'm not saying a word but if her son isn't bothered or trying to gain PA then what does that say to these people anyway?

It says the father is shit, and encourages the GM contact as the only means of the child feeling part of their fathers family....

It says the father doesn't support his mother and doesn't want to get involved in baby snatching away from their mother. If any judge granted her unsupervised i would call the police every time to do a welfare check.

And that's a quick way to looking extremely unstable and getting yourself arrested...

You're doing a great job of showing her as the most stable factor in your children's lives.

I think the police would swiftly stop listening, and you would be dismissed as a complete loon.

Incidentally, magistrates have virtually all the powers a family court district judge. So please don't make an arse of yourself by disrespecting them.

You really need to calm down and deal with this sensibly or any sound arguments you have will not be heard.

And in regards to dna surely that would be an issue because unless she was there when i conceived then there's a chance she isn't her granddaughter. She never reached out whilst i was pregnant so what right does she think she has to get my baby alone?
And in regards to dna I'm not saying a word but if her son isn't bothered or trying to gain PA then what does that say to these people anyway?
It sounds very much like the son is the father for both daughters but the OP is quite happy to lie to their children and have them having different knowledge about their paternal family.

This is all very confusing from someone who cant hold a consistent line on their children knowing their family, lying to their kids about being half and not full siblings, is on about taking the children overseas to prevent family relationships, continually talks about them and their right to their baby, and has now decided the family courts are some mad conspiracy. There's too much going on and it seems more about beef between adults than it does the kids.

There is a Family Judge present in all cases. Let the Court come down heavy on you because i think you need a massive reality check

This would suggest to me that as there has been absolutely no contact between the potential grandmother & the child that the Courts wouldn't authorise any contact going forward. That the woman doesn't have any evidence that the child is actually even related to her anyway would to my mind result in the Courts denying her any www.thefamilylawco.co.uk/information/do-i-have-any-rights-to-see-my-grandchildren/access. I'm not in the legal profession, just giving an opinion.

The DNA between my kids and my ex is my business. He knows the truth and me too. Who would lie to their children over such a matter but the question is still there for the potential grandparent. How do you know you are related to my child through DNA. Same question to a courtroom! And anyhow i feel what benefit will a second child have by having contact with this woman? A few whispers in her ear too about me, another opportunity to pick up on the bad feeling between us? In reality it isn't going to work. The order she had doesn't work because we have not had direct contact in 2 years. I do not want that and she too told the police she doesn't want to see me. Main thing is she's getting the visit with my elder daughter and her father, who knows what will happen in the future with my second daughter but at this stage she is far too young to be away from me for 2 hours with a stranger, it's for my ex to initiate contact in the future if he chooses so and not for magistrates or whoever to be decided. And this is the problem with the grandmothers boundaries, she has none and can't respect decisions that parents make and feels she can over ride that by taking you to court. She has no right morally or legally to be doing this so i will call the police as many times as i want if i find her behaviour intrusive and abusive and that's my right to do so.

I've tried typing this a few times, as it's been playing on my mind. In posts you come across as rather defensive, as if, 'What do you mean I can't dictate everything to do with DD?' It's my way or no way, how dare a judge award something against my wishes. Argh I'm not in charge, how do I get the ball back in my court.

Does the ex agree with everything as he can't overly stick up for himself, knows you focus on negatives over positives, so anything for a quiet life? Like with your ex FIL, you started with I dislike him because, then praised him as he doesn't have the inclination to want to see your DD frequently.

I hope you can grasp that GP are notorious for listening to what the parents say, sneaking in a bag of milky buttons anyway, as this kind of thing has been going on since time began. It's not vindictive, it's them knowing it's very unlikely to harm their GC.

I think it's pointless highlighting stuff, as you have your rhetoric and won't deviate from that, to accommodate anything that differs to what you want.

I hope at some point you calm down and see that it's easier to compromise, than to throw thousands at solicitors to try and get things your own way.

Ex MIL has likely said to the police, I just want to see my GC, it's her way or there's hell to pay, it's been a constant battle and it's tiring me as much as it is her. This isn't one sided.

I really do wish you all the best, I hope you can see just because you want things to go one way, it's not guaranteed. Your stress levels will reduce maybe when accept, DD's GM isn't doing anything bad, you perceive it that way, as things with you both are strained. You said yourself GM wants as little as possible to do with you, why would she bow down to your demands of contact under your supervision only?

Just to add, I've held in my thoughts, many are saying pretty much what I think, at present parentage isn't clear, although it's like both DD are full sisters. It's almost like a way of you delaying any reasonable requests, whilst saying, 'Well the GM hasn't seen DD2 anyway!' As if you would allow that if she tried.

I hope the professionals can see that this is ultimately about you, your perceived ideals about what should happen. Anything that doesn't fit in that box is deemed as a negative.

It's about protecting my Daughter from an awkward atmosphere and i don't consent to my child going, with my elder daughter i did but this time i feel my daughter is far too young. My baby had a serious illness when she was 3 months old which could of lead to sepsis, I don't want to go into that but basically i don't and won't have my child out of my care unwillingly. No way would she be going on an order because at that age things change and happen and if she had to go back to hospital again then no orders would work. And like i have said before the grandmother has said things to my Daughter, some disgusting words she has repeated aimed at me which i have addressed her over and asked her to stop. At the end of the day she gets the contact with me elder Daughter and that's guaranteed so in the future that particular day could be used but there's no way anyone's adding my babies name to that order. And it's easy for you to say I basically have it in for her because it has to be my way but first ask yourself what you would do if a controlling narcissist tried to lay down the law with your kids, dismissing everything and anything you have parents have said because in her mind she believes she has very important rights. I've researched alot into narcissism and it's a fact that the grandparents that start court proceedings over children when they've had basic contact are in fact narcissistic.

She's very manipulative but like i say she's an under handed cunning person, she hides behind the 'i just want to see my grandchildren' line because she's cunning. In the past i hold my hands up and admit i have bit back and gave her a reaction like any mother would if they'd had letter after letter through the door demanding i have to share my daughter because if not she will take me to court, as a parent i can say it's awful and not been very nice. I believe underneath she is a very insecure troublesome woman that has nothing better to do with her life than cause trouble for people. If her own son has said he knows what she's like then what does that tell you. Like i say i have given her reactions in the past but now I'm not entertaining her, I'll leave her to do what she thinks is necessary to do. She has enjoyed the reactions but each time she initiates one i will be calling the police because it is harassment and my kids are not possessions, they're vulnerable children that don't deserve to be involved in this.

Blimey you really don’t listen to anyone else OP do you. You just keep saying the same stuff in every post even though others have come on here and given you an alternative view. You come across as mad whilst the GM comes across as just wanting to see both of her granddaughters - nothing wrong in that to be honest. I would do the same even if my son didn’t want contact. I would want to keep a link between families and that is what any family court will see. You really do across as deranged.

I actually think the court could order DNA.

She has access to the oldest one. With mo proof of problems caused. Just the ops 'she probably says bad things about me'

She knows the youngest is her sons. Everyone knows. She could press the point that it's very unfair and potentially damanging on the youngest child to miss out on a relationship with her, while the oldest one gets to have that relationship.

She could also claim that until recently, she believed the ops lies that the youngest wasnt her sons.

She could also claim that it's very unfair amd damaging on the youngest child, for the oldest to know who her dad is and the youngest not know. Purely based on the fact that her son is a feckless father and isn't bothered

The court could be very concerned that the OP acts in a way that suits her rather than what's good for the child.