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Original poster

Potential grandparent requesting DNA test..

329 replies

user1499775533 · 09/06/2019 15:50

Hi, was wondering if anyone knows if a potential paternal grandparent can request DNA by starting the mediation process etc. Any advive would be appreciated.

OP posts:
Collaborate · 09/06/2019 16:16

You can always request it. the parent may refuse (I presume the parent here is the mother and you are the paternal grandparent).

To get the court to order testing an application needs to be issued. If there is a question over paternity the court might or might not order DNA testing, but it all depends. You really ought to take advice before taking this any further.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/06/2019 16:18

They can request it, doesn't mean they'll get it. The real question is why isn't the son/potential father the one trying to sort this?

LilQueenie · 09/06/2019 16:19

surely its up the other parent to request a dna test and not the grandparent.

Original poster
user1499775533 · 09/06/2019 16:26

I am the mother. My daughter is 12 months old and never seen the woman. Her son is not interested. She has initiated mediation which i oppose. I have contacted the police and they have told her if she sends anymore handwritten letters or emails then she'll be arrested. I have 1 3 year old daughter with her son which she sees but this child is nothing to do with her.

OP posts:
LilQueenie · 09/06/2019 16:33

She sounds unhinged. I would wait as it sounds like she will get herself arrested anyway.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 09/06/2019 16:36

Is your younger DD her granddaughter? If so, why do you let her see the elder one and not the younger. If she’s not, then that’s fine for her not to see you DD if she has a different father.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/06/2019 16:37

If you don't want her in your life, she has no right to be in it. Grandparents do not have any rights where grandchildren are concerned.

Original poster
user1499775533 · 09/06/2019 16:39

She is a narcissistic bully. It's always been about the fight and not the child involved. She took me and my ex to court to get access to our daughter even though she was getting that at our home but decided she wanted it at her house without me there, i agreed and she goes once a month with her Dad. I agreed at the first hearing so wasn't forced to do it but with my new Daughter she has no right, her son is not on the birth certificate and we were not together at the time of conception, it's really a private matter that has nothing to do with her. I'm not sure what legal steps i need to take to stop her.

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 09/06/2019 16:44

I have 1 3 year old daughter with her son which she sees but this child is nothing to do with her

So I gather that your baby has a different father to your 3 year old? She obviously just doesn't believe that her son isn't the dad and wants proof. Not sure how she can force it though.

Frusty · 09/06/2019 16:44

You haven’t said if the child is actually her relation or not. I can see that you don’t want her to have anything to do with the woman, but if her sister is and she isn’t (and if they are actually both related to her) won’t your lo wonder why she didn’t get to have a grandmother but her sister did?
Obviously if a different father that’s a different story.

Original poster
user1499775533 · 09/06/2019 16:44

My elder Daughter goes once a month for 2 hours to have to sit there possibly listening to all kinds of things. She doesn't like me and i kind of don't like her now, so it's awkward. Her son has his own issues and I'm sure her too. Even if my younger Daughter was proven to be her grandchild i still wouldn't want the same for her. Trust is massive and you cannot leave people with your children if you don't have that. With my elder Daughter i initiated the contact she had so didn't want to take that away from her as much as we didn't get on but i feel with my second Daughter this is a private matter.

OP posts:
WhereForArtThouBray · 09/06/2019 16:45

I think it could cause issues as the younger child grows up. Their sibling is allowed to have a relationship with family but they are not.

VodselForDinner · 09/06/2019 16:45

She has initiated mediation which i oppose

Hi OP. I’m a mediator (though mainly do workplace cases, not family, though the same principles apply).

Mediation is 100% voluntary. She’s can’t initoate anything without your agreement. You are under no volition to take part.

Just decline mediation.

Original poster
user1499775533 · 09/06/2019 16:48

The mediation place have put a note on their system not to send anymore letters to me. I'm fed up of it all. Since my elder daughter was 9 months old she's been doing this. They said they can't stop her from applying for the permission which she will.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1499775533 · 09/06/2019 16:49

She isnt your average gran. She wants parental rights and is not a nice person to deal with if she doesn't feel she's getting that.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1499775533 · 09/06/2019 16:52

It isn't in my elder childs best interests to be going there if I'm honest because she is starting to sense there is bad feeling. She has to go on a Tuesday so her so called 'father' isn't drunk or taking cocaine because at the weekend he's busy doing all of this plus now he has his community service to do. It's like a Jeremy kyle episode. I can't cope.

OP posts:
titchy · 09/06/2019 16:57

So she IS the biological grandmother? And sees one grandchild but not the other.

Original poster
user1499775533 · 09/06/2019 16:59

We don't speak. Her son isn't interested so even if my daughter was her grandchild how would she see her.

OP posts:
ChicCroissant · 09/06/2019 16:59

So the younger child is also her grandchild?

Original poster
user1499775533 · 09/06/2019 17:00

Sometimes as mothers, you may have your reasons for not confirming paternity. But i feel that's a private matter.

OP posts:
LilQueenie · 09/06/2019 17:01

titchy she is the biological grandmother of the eldest only. not the youngest.

1moremum · 09/06/2019 17:03

the woman is NOT the grandmother to DD2, she made that pretty clear.

her son is not on the birth certificate and we were not together at the time of conception, it's really a private matter that has nothing to do with her

Collaborate · 09/06/2019 17:04

You’ve been asked repeatedly if the child is her grandchild and have not answered, so I’ll assume she is. Your question about DNA testing suggests you are thinking of misleading the court by claiming she isn’t the grandparent.
If the court finds out you have deliberately misled it you could get in to all sorts of trouble.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 09/06/2019 17:05

@1moremum I'm not sure it is clear. They were not together, and the ex is not named on the birth certificate. Doesn't mean they couldn't have had sex and the OP become pregnant. I think this is what the OP is being vague about.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/06/2019 17:05

You might not want to confirm paternity legally but it might help you get advise on here.

Legally her son would be the one to ask for a DNA test I would have thought. If he isn't interested in knowing of youngest is his or not, I can't see she has a right to demand it.

Tbh I'd stop the visits. He clearly isn't a fit or interested parent and your eldest is getting nothing from the visits. Stop them abd if HE wants access, then arrange that seperatly and supervised

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