Potential grandparent requesting DNA test..

[user1499775533]

Hi, was wondering if anyone knows if a potential paternal grandparent can request DNA by starting the mediation process etc. Any advive would be appreciated.

And can i add again that what my ex does regarding alcohol and drugs are his business. He is an adult and does not ask for unsupervised access to any child. Nobody has a right to judge my decisions and as you can see my troubles are dated back to 2017. This has been ongoing and still continuing. I came on here to get personal advice, not legal advice.

Don't be ridiculous. You are literally asking about legalities involving the visitation of an infant and 'potential' paternal GP.
As well as throwing into it the thought of fleeing the country with two children.
You don't seem to realise that there is the potential for this to become a legal headache for you.

Also you can throw all the accusations at this grandmother that you want. But you need to think how it looks that in one breath you say what a god awful father her son is so awful that you decided to make another baby with him.

I have no feelings for my ex other than pity. The relationship fully crumbled after he didn't support me with his mum. He let her bully and intimidate me with my Daughter since she was born and it's been ongoing. He never stood up for me once even though he knew it was wrong. I have no time for either of them but i can tolerate him because afterall we were once in a relationship but i don't recall being in one with his mum 😕it's all a mess and if i left the country he would not contest a thing. He'd wave me on my way and be pleased he doesn't have to pay maintenance for the eldest child.

Also I just noticed you posted this in legal!!!

I have not once on this thread said he was an awful father. I have given facts about him and you clearly have made your own presumptions. I have said i keep my feelings to myself over how i feel about him because would not be appropriate to speak negatively about anyone in front of your child.

And again I'll say my question about potential grandmother was how can she start proceedings for a child she's never seen and son isn't on the birth certificate. Could she ask for a DNA test because how would she know for sure it's her grandchild

I posted in legal because DNA is a legal matter i presume?

You got legal responses, you just ignored them.

If the mother is manipulative as you say. She’ll manipulated her son to make you take a DNA test. He has sufficient grounds to.

He can't be manipulated by anyone. Trust me. He could try manipulate himself but not the other way

And the legal advice i have recieved so far has been positive so I'm unsure about legal advice on here and as to who is or isn't legally trained

My ex is aware what his mum uw doing and says he wants no part in it at all. He didn't even turn up to court for my elder Daughter

And by personal advice i meant if anyone on this thread had been in a similar situation or had a grandparent request DNA etc.

Also on my exes mums c100 form for my elder Daughter it stated she wanted contact at her house, never once stated i stopped contact just that she wanted it at her home. I've never been sure why she wanted contact away from me but i suspect it's to whisper things in my Daughters ear and like i say the order was made because she was being super nice and chatty that the magistrates thought we were the best of friends and that I'd probably be tagging along too but that was her act to trick them into thinking shes a nice granny. The order was against cafcass recommendations too and i didn't agree but had no legal representative with me and there was no cafcass officer there.

It sounds like it would be beneficial to change the access arrangements for your elder daughter in any case - make him see her at a contact centre.

The police officer suggested that i should change the contact arrangements too. She has willingly told the police that we haven't had direct contact in 2 years too just incase she tries lying. There's just a lot to sort out and legal fees are expensive that more than likely I'll end up fighting my own corner again again.

If you already have legal advice from professionals who know the full details of the situation, I'm not sure what you're gaining from positing on mumsnet other than seeking validation.

You've asked for opinions. Many people sympathise with the fact the grandmother sounds horrible, but have fairly pointed out the unfairness between the children and potential problems it has down the line only for you to tell us it's none of our business, you've had legal advice on your side and you're thinking of leaving the country.
It might be best to stick with talking to your legal team.

I have had brief legal advice over the phone but until anymore paperwork comes through my door they cannot help. The police officer gave some brief advice too which was helpful. I wanted to see if anyone had been in a similar situation to this before but obviously not by looking at the comments. And i said worse case i will leave the country if any orders are made for me to hand my Daughter over to strangers without me, the way this woman has made me feel in the 3 year process has been damaging and not normal. She actually believes she has some right to my elder Daughter and has treated me like the surrogate. Honestly, instead of judging negatively me just think about how I'm feeling mentally and emotionally- maybe I'm desperate to be free of this woman

If you do decide to move, don't tell her before hand. She sounds like the sort of woman who'd make it her life mission to stop you.

Her life mission is to destroy me mentally and then take my children i believe. She will go to no lengths to accomplish that. She told the cafcass officer i have mental health problems and I'm sure she'll be saying the same again. Anyone that dares to tell her no or stand up to her must be crazy in her eyes.

I'd love to hear the story from the other side of this.

She'd say i want to see my grandchildren. She said that to the police officer too even know she gets the contact she requested at her house and nobody denied her access the first time, she wanted visits away from me and my house. She has claimed she has no clue what you mean when you talk about her lack of boundaries, she's a very manipulative under handed person that puts the gran face on when necessary but I've seen the real face and that's of a woman that believes she can get what she wants. There were lots of problems with her other sons girlfriend and baby too.

I'm firmly of the belief that unless grandparents have been instrumental in raising the children, they shouldn't be given legal right of access just on the basis that they are blood related. I feel the only people who should get to decide who their children spend time with are the parents. Even if granny was the nicest woman on earth, they are not her children.

I totally agree. I think the family courts should be used for fathers and the grans that have raised their grandchildren etc. And you have to raise the question that if granny was such a nice woman why would she be going down the court route anyway! In my case for contact away from the family home to be in her home, a real grandparent would be grateful to see their grandchild anywhere.

Whether you agree with it or not, the law is what will be applied at any hearing.

Haven't read through all the thread, but the grandmother would have to apply for permission to make her application. You may object at that stage, but I think that given she's an order to see the other, she'd get permission.

This thread started with you asking about paternity and DNA testing. It seems to me that you're contemplating saying she's not the grandmother when you know full well she is.

I'm out of here.