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Original poster

My boyfriend got arrested last night and I don’t know what is happening

269 replies

Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 07:43

Me and my partner are expecting a child soon, he has children form a previous marriage and yesterday around 5pm he took them home, he stopped in the street and they got out and left but their mum came out and started shouting at him and he shouted back and she kicked the car and he drove off. He got home and was quite upset by this and left a voice mail for his solicitor. Next thing police are at my door and he’s under arrest for trying to run his ex over apparently. This was 6pm. I got a call from the police at the station at 7:30pm telling me that my partner wanted me to know he’s fine I asked when will he be home they said the early hours depending on how busy they get as Saturday nights are busy. I haven’t slept a wink it’s now almost 8am and I haven’t heard any more. I went onto find my iPhone and he’s still at the police station. However he doesn’t have his phone on him so I can’t contact him at all. I tired to call the police station but a voice message says they can not give out any info regarding anyone in custody. I’m going out of my mind now and don’t know what I can do to find out what is happening or when he will be home or even if he’s possibly been remanded in custody. Can someone help me out please I don’t need this stress I’m heavily pregnant

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 25/03/2018 17:33

Op, how do you know it's against her. Do you have more than his word for that?

It's just it seems unlikely. Again what is he charged with? Why aren't you answering that?

Original poster
Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 17:34

Yes he has reported her before for sending an email to him and the police came to our house and he showed them the order and she was arrested

OP posts:
Original poster
Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 17:34

I don’t know what he’s charged with nobody will tell me and he says he isn’t allowed to tell me either. I may find out tomorrow in the court room?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 25/03/2018 17:35

Ok, but there is a drip feed here. The accusation originally was he tried to run her over. Now you're saying he also tried to run the children over. That's a whole different ballgame.

What is he charged with?

Bluntness100 · 25/03/2018 17:36

He is lying, he can tell you. It's his decision if they tell you. Yes you will find out in court. I'm sorry op.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 25/03/2018 17:36

I’m honestly not sure if you will be able to speak to him if he’s remanded in custody. Have you spoken to his Solicitor yet? They should be able to answer that for you. They should also be able to tell you exactly what he’s been charged with.

riceandpeas123 · 25/03/2018 17:36

You won't be able to have a conversation unless he gets bailed no - at best a few words from the dock but that will piss the magistrates right off so definitely don't do it before they make a decision! I'd ask the police who represented him in interview (assuming he had a solicitor in interview) and make sure they tell you the firm and don't just say "duty" (though you can find out who that is worst case). They will probably be happy to tell you so you don't keep asking them stuff! The solicitor will hopefully be in a position to tell you what the charge is (if the police haven't - they aren't obliged to) and what the evidence is if he has given permission to speak to you.

Bluntness100 · 25/03/2018 17:38

They should also be able to tell you exactly what he’s been charged with

No, not unless he permits it. No one can tell her if he says they should not. It's his decision.

riceandpeas123 · 25/03/2018 17:38

Of course he can tell you. You will hear it in court but I suspect it's something he doesn't want you to know then...

JiltedJohnsJulie · 25/03/2018 17:38

Would you want him back OP if he’s tried to run over his own children?

Bluntness100 · 25/03/2018 17:40

Yes, there is a reason he isn't telling her. He can tell anyone he wants what he's charged with. So he is 100% lying and doesn't want her to know.

That is not a good sign.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 25/03/2018 17:44

“their mum came out and started shouting at him and he shouted back and she kicked the car and he drove off. He got home and was quite upset by this and left a voice mail for his solicitor.”

There’s More to this than he has told you. He phoned his solicitor as soon as he got in. He knew the police would be coming. If he was phoning the solicitor because she came out and kicked his car he would have been phoning the police too. As he did previously when she sent him an email.

riceandpeas123 · 25/03/2018 17:46

Out of interest, has he asked you not to go tomorrow? I'm curious why he won't tell you what the charge is...

JiltedJohnsJulie · 25/03/2018 17:46

Sorry blunt of course he can veto the OP being told. Pretty shitty thing to do though isn’t it?

Sorry OP but if he wants you to wait until the Court hearing to find out that’s pretty appalling. Unless of course he isn’t expecting you to go to the hearing and is hoping to spin you some lies.

Agree with the others, it’s not looking good.

Costacoffeeplease · 25/03/2018 17:49

I’m also wondering why he won’t tell you the charge, it does sound a bit suspicious

DaisyGiveMeYourAnswerDoo · 25/03/2018 17:51

Thanks for you OP. He is 100000% allowed to tell you.

Original poster
Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 17:52

No the police man dealing with this asked me to go. When I got to speak to dp before the lady from the station rang me and asked if I would be willing to speak to him I said of course and she then said to him do not go into any detail about the case... but I’m not sure if that’s because the cps had not made their descion at that time?

OP posts:
LyndaSnellsFeet · 25/03/2018 17:53

The system seems to be stacked against men.

Yes it is isn't it, that must be why the conviction rates for rape and domestic violence are so high.

Oh wait Hmm

Original poster
Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 17:53

When he was arrested the police said on suspicion of affray?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 25/03/2018 17:54

Telling you what he's charged with and going into detail of the case are two different things.

Were you not in the room when he was arrested? You said it was at your house

Bluntness100 · 25/03/2018 17:55

That doesn't make sense, affray is fighting in public. Which would indicate he attacked her or someone else. She's not been arrested?

riceandpeas123 · 25/03/2018 17:57

Affray can cover lots of things but is usually a scrap in the street. Not what I'd expect them to lock up for if he was in his car the whole time, but police may have used it for a catch all if they only had half a story when they arrested him. Only reason I can think for custody officer saying that is if they thought they might take a statement from you (due to him saying something in interview which involved you) but no reason he can't tell you once he's been charged.

LyndaSnellsFeet · 25/03/2018 17:57

He's not being straight with you.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 25/03/2018 17:59

Who told you she had accused him of trying to run her (and the kids??) over?

Bluntness100 · 25/03/2018 18:00

I wonder why the police asked you to attend. You're not married. There is no reason for the police to want you there.