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Original poster

My boyfriend got arrested last night and I don’t know what is happening

269 replies

Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 07:43

Me and my partner are expecting a child soon, he has children form a previous marriage and yesterday around 5pm he took them home, he stopped in the street and they got out and left but their mum came out and started shouting at him and he shouted back and she kicked the car and he drove off. He got home and was quite upset by this and left a voice mail for his solicitor. Next thing police are at my door and he’s under arrest for trying to run his ex over apparently. This was 6pm. I got a call from the police at the station at 7:30pm telling me that my partner wanted me to know he’s fine I asked when will he be home they said the early hours depending on how busy they get as Saturday nights are busy. I haven’t slept a wink it’s now almost 8am and I haven’t heard any more. I went onto find my iPhone and he’s still at the police station. However he doesn’t have his phone on him so I can’t contact him at all. I tired to call the police station but a voice message says they can not give out any info regarding anyone in custody. I’m going out of my mind now and don’t know what I can do to find out what is happening or when he will be home or even if he’s possibly been remanded in custody. Can someone help me out please I don’t need this stress I’m heavily pregnant

OP posts:
peridito · 25/03/2018 18:41

I know someone ( a polio vicitin who walks with a crutch ) who in his late 70's was arrested ,held overnight and had an order preventing him from returning to the home he had shared with his partner for 15 years .

She was in the early stages of dementia ,he had grabbed and bruised her arm to stop her picking up a pan of boiling water .
Her relatives ,visiting later ,called the police .Relatives took her to live with them .She died a few weeks later and my friend never saw her to say goodbye .

He 100% had not deliberately hurt her ,he had no previous convictions for anything .There had never been any complaints about him to anyone .

The duty slcr advised him to accept a caution .He refused .The case was later dropped for lack of evidence .

My point is that innocent people can get caught up in the system and be presumed guilty .

Vangoghsear · 25/03/2018 18:41

OP you would be wise to prepare yourself for the possibility of a serious charge and your partner being remanded in custody. As others have said the information you have at the moment is almost certainly not the whole story.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 25/03/2018 18:42

Different sizes of shoes prints? Who else was there? Did he say it was just her or other people kicking the car?? Sounds strange. Does he wear nike air max?

Bluntness100 · 25/03/2018 18:44

Peri, that's very different this man has been charged.

Op, none of it makes sense. It makes sense he was fighting in thr street with her, it makes sense he would be arrested for affray based on that, but affray there is someone else involved. So why is he the only one arrested.

If this is real, then he's done more than drive his car at her and the children. Although that would be enough for me.

Crispbutty · 25/03/2018 18:47

Definition of affray in the UK:

(1) A person is guilty of affray if he uses or threatens unlawful violence towards another and his conduct is such as would cause a person of reasonable firmness present at the scene to fear for his personal safety.

Crispbutty · 25/03/2018 18:48

Which does fit what is being said to have happened.

Original poster
Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 18:48

Their children kicked the car too hence the different shoe prints. And no he does not wear nike air max but possibly his ex did I’m not sure. And maybe it’s not the whole story but it’s all I have to go off right now they told me he would call me later on, that was 2 hours ago so hopefully he can ring me soon

OP posts:
Nannyplumssillyoldelf · 25/03/2018 18:49

I hope you get some answers soon.

Bluntness100 · 25/03/2018 18:53

Crisp. I don't think it does make sense, I would expect something else because it's car related. It's very loose to say this is threatening violence. I get where you're coming from, but that's not normally how police would deal with it. It's strange. Affray is normally fighting, which yes is threatening violence. Unless he's been charged with something else...

LineysRun · 25/03/2018 18:53

Why were the children kicking their dad's car??

Original poster
Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 18:54

Because their mum was and they are quite on their mums side

OP posts:
Crispbutty · 25/03/2018 18:55

I can imagine there was probably a lot more screaming and shouting before any car kicking happened. I would have thought the ex would /should be in for questioning too though.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 25/03/2018 18:55

Drip drip drip.

So now the children were kicking the car too? Hmm

Original poster
Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 18:56

She may have been I don’t know. And yes once the argument got heated the children took their mothers side

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 25/03/2018 18:57

What? You said the kids left. Then you changed it to the kids kicking his car. You said he ran at her, then you said he ran at her and the kids. Kids don't just kick their dads car because their mum is after spending time with him.

Either you're making this shit up or you're drip feeding to make it look better for him.

OnNaturesCourse · 25/03/2018 18:57

🍀

IlikemyTeahot · 25/03/2018 18:57

How old are the kids? Would they not have noticed if their mum was outside yelling? Maybe they saw

Original poster
Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 18:58

Yea that’s what I was told this morning and things keep changing I can’t keep up. I do need to speak to his solicitor but they said only my partner can give me his details and he hasn’t rang me back I only spoke to him once

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 25/03/2018 18:58

And yes once the argument got heated the children took their mothers side how do you know this OP?

turnipfarmers · 25/03/2018 18:59

What a mess. You know you don't have to stay with this man, leaving is an option if you choose to take it.

Original poster
Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 18:59

It’s what people are telling me has been put on Facebook that the kids joined in with their mum but one was crying and ran away

OP posts:
ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 25/03/2018 19:00

How do things keep changing, you haven’t been able to speak to him?

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 25/03/2018 19:02

Take screenshots of everything that has been posted on Facebook, the police might want to speak to anyone who says they witnessed it .

mamakoukla · 25/03/2018 19:03

Flowers keep strong, be sure to look after yourself.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 25/03/2018 19:05

I'd be careful how much belief you have in second-hand accounts of Facebook posts - as much as I can understand you wanting any information possible.

When he calls, I'd expect to, at the very least, know what he's been charged with. And if he is cagey or lies; that'd be it for me. This is serious; he is hampering your ability to know what is happening, you are pregnant. It would undermine my trust in him that he wouldn't keep you informed.

If it does become apparent that more happened than you're aware of, for whatever reason - do you have someone who could be with you?