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My boyfriend got arrested last night and I don’t know what is happening

269 replies

Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 07:43

Me and my partner are expecting a child soon, he has children form a previous marriage and yesterday around 5pm he took them home, he stopped in the street and they got out and left but their mum came out and started shouting at him and he shouted back and she kicked the car and he drove off. He got home and was quite upset by this and left a voice mail for his solicitor. Next thing police are at my door and he’s under arrest for trying to run his ex over apparently. This was 6pm. I got a call from the police at the station at 7:30pm telling me that my partner wanted me to know he’s fine I asked when will he be home they said the early hours depending on how busy they get as Saturday nights are busy. I haven’t slept a wink it’s now almost 8am and I haven’t heard any more. I went onto find my iPhone and he’s still at the police station. However he doesn’t have his phone on him so I can’t contact him at all. I tired to call the police station but a voice message says they can not give out any info regarding anyone in custody. I’m going out of my mind now and don’t know what I can do to find out what is happening or when he will be home or even if he’s possibly been remanded in custody. Can someone help me out please I don’t need this stress I’m heavily pregnant

OP posts:
TerranceandPhilip · 25/03/2018 07:48

In short you can do nothing. He can only be kept in 24hrs (they can apply for an extension but given what you've described in your OP that's unlikely) then they'll have to charge him/release him under investigation.

As he's over the age of 18, they won't and can't pass information to you. It's possible he's not even been interviewed yet given how stupid Sat nights can get

Somersetter · 25/03/2018 07:48

Sorry to hear this, it sounds very stressful. Did he explain why he was calling his solicitor? Just wondering if he told you the whole story.

Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 07:52

Because he has a non molestation order against his ex and she’s not allowed to contact him and she had came out of her house shouting at him which is breaking the rules of the order, so he rang her and left w voice mail telling her it had gone badly again as it’s going to court soon as he wants more time with his children but she won’t allow him and the closer th court date gets the more crazy she gets

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Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 07:54

So how do I find out if they have applied for an extension or if he has been remanded ? Hopefully he will be home long before then but I am going out of my mind

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Achafi · 25/03/2018 07:55

you can phone the custody suite and leave a message for him to call you when he can you can also call a solicitor on his behalf but there really isn't much else you can do.

Somersetter · 25/03/2018 07:57

Ok that makes sense - good luck op, hope you get some news soon. As far as you know did anyone else witness what happened?

Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 07:58

His solicitor is not at work until tomorrow morning 😔 I know he would call me the very second he could as he knows I will be so worried

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Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 07:59

She has neighbours who have been very friendly with her since he left her and haven’t spoke to him since. He said nobody was out in the street when it happened but her neighbours are the type of people to lie for her

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Achafi · 25/03/2018 08:08

Not a family solicitor a criminal one. If the firm does crime when you call the number their voicemail will give you a 24 hr if you are arrested number.

TerranceandPhilip · 25/03/2018 08:08

So how do I find out if they have applied for an extension or if he has been remanded ?

You can't. If a custody Sgt is feeling particularly generous he/she may allow him further contact with you but that's not a right. It's very unlikely they'll extend

Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 08:18

I called the number back but ended up on the control room they have told me to just keep trying his mobile and isn’t much more I can do

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Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 08:53

Feels so awful just sitting here waiting for him to call having no idea when it will be and not knowing what is happening

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Psychobabble123 · 25/03/2018 09:50

Legally they have until 6pm tonight to either charge or release him, so you could still have a long wait yet I'm afraid.

Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 09:58

It’s so unbelievably stressing me out

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Psychobabble123 · 25/03/2018 09:59

Can you go out and do something/see someone to help take your mind off it and pass the time?? Staying in the house on your own will make time stand still.

Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 10:00

Not really all my family are busy on sundays and me and my partner usually go out for lunch

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Greenkit · 25/03/2018 10:02

It sounds like he has you down as a nominated person, so they should speak to you if you ring.

If he was arrested last night, officers will probably have taken statements last night and will interview him this morning, if he wasn't drunk it should be quite soon. Then they probably have to go to CPS as its a domestic type offence, so that could take a while.

Unless this is a regular occurrence, then I doubt very much he will be remanded to court in the morning.

Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 10:33

Iv tried already they won’t tell me anything. No he’s never been arrested before. I still have heard nothing we’re are 16 hours in now

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Greenkit · 25/03/2018 10:55

Where I am if the detainee nominated someone, and he did as he asked the officer to let you know he was ok, then they should allow you to speak with him.

What are they saying when you ring up?
Perhaps they have to get him out the cell to speak to you, where as we can connect to the cell.

I wouldn't worry, he will be well looked after,

Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 11:09

It’s just a menu that says press 3 for custody so when I press 3 it says they can’t not for data protection give out any info on anyone unless they are under 17. Then it hangs us. I’m really at my whitts end Iv tried to keep busy with house work but I can’t take my mind off it

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AnchorDownDeepBreath · 25/03/2018 11:10

Go out. Take your phone; but go do something, even if it's wondering around town by yourself, or going for lunch somewhere new. There's nothing you can do for him now so keep yourself busy or your day is going to go really slowly.

AlbertaSimmons · 25/03/2018 11:13

Why are you going out of your mind? You know where he is, you do know what's happening (not much, lot of waiting around), you know he will be released later today, you know there's not much can be done. Cool your jets, he'll reappear later and tomorrow he can get on to his lawyer.

Emz2019 · 25/03/2018 11:25

They have called me and said they are waiting on the cps getting back to them to see if they are going to charge him with anything and could be around 2 hours. I asked if he will be coming home so said she doesn’t know it depends on what the cps say. Is that normal is every case?

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youarenotkiddingme · 25/03/2018 11:39

Sorry you're going through this.

I would hope the police would get information from a number of neighbours if they are asking them for evidence. Common sense says in domestic events some people's evidence will be bias based on relationship with neighbour. They'll also check if there's any cctv on site?

You would hope as he has a non mol against her they'll treat this fairly.

Hopefully your DP didn't actually try to run her over! It's possible he may have tried to drive off as she abuses him and she got in the way. Both situations can look the same from the outside sadly.

LLO7 · 25/03/2018 11:39

Hope he is home soon OP!

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