My husband's girlfriend's house

[ErictheHalfaBee]

New to this, so please be kind!

I have recently discovered that my husband of 24 years has not only had a girlfriend for the last three years but has bought her a house and a car. I'm devastated as you can imagine. Of course I will be seeing a solicitor ASAP, but does anyone know if I am entitled to a share of the property? I'm not sure if it's in his name, her name or joint names yet.

He also owns a small business jointly with his business partner. Am I entitled to any of that? I know, I'm so naive. I should have seen it happening but I've always left all the finances to him. Stupidly trusting of me. She's half my age (and his).

You can download the deeds from Land Registry . gov to check whose name the property is in.

I know the town the property is in but not the address.

I'm thinking of hiring a private detective to track him.

You need to see a solicitor. If you're going to divorce him then that property should be taken into consideration. I.e. deducted from his share of assets. This is only my opinion though. I'm not in legal profession.

What a shock for you. Utter bastard

Save your detective money for a solicitor.

I feel completely numb. Just trying to be practical and act normally in front of the children. Solicitor it is then. This is all alien to me.

As his legal partner, you're entitled to half of whatever he owns and vice versa. If he's bought a house and it's in his name, you're entitled to some of that, but if he's bought it in her name then you're not.

What a horrible situation for you.

Does he know you know ?

No, a mutual friend told me. He doesn't know I know yet. I'm hoping to keep it that way for as long as possible.

Take copies of any relevant documents, bank statements etc

I'd start by getting proper evidence and legal advice

Oh OP, what a terrible shock. You're right not to mention anything to him until you get your ducks in a row. No practical legal advice to give you, but stay strong!

Even if it is in her name if he used family assets to buy it you may have a claim for the value of the assets used. Please get a decent solicitor.

Anyone know a decent solicitor?!

Don't know a decent solicitor but good luck getting your ducks in a row. I hope he bought it in his name so you are entitled to a share of it

Oh and if I am not mistaken many solicitors offer a free hour of consultation so you can 'shop around' until you settle for a decemt one.

Good lord what a sneaky fuck! Thinking of you OP. I would probably save the private detective as you already know what he's up to and will probably just end up more heartbroken than you already are.

Get the best solicitor you can and stick it to him. You deserve so much better.

The children know nothing. They will be heartbroken, especially my daughter who hero worships her dad. What a bastard. I hope the OW dumps him shortly after the divorce!

As his legal partner, you're entitled to half of whatever he owns and vice versa

No she is not. The OP is entitled to a fair share of the assets of the marriage. That may be more or less than half of what he owns depending on the circumstances.

I hope the mutual friend doesn't tell him you know.
Is there anyone you trust that you could get to follow him to the property so you can find out who owns the house on the land registry?
You need to find out really before you file for divorce. If you know the house it doesn't give him chance to try and cover things up.

That was the idea of employing a private detective really. I don't know who I can trust in real life any more because most people have apparently been aware of it for a while and not told me. I am so stupid. I've asked him several times if there was anyone else and he has always said no. I have no idea what he thought the ultimate outcome of this would be.

I am so sorry. I have no personal experience of this but have had a couple of close friends go through similar.

Are you able to ask your friend not to tell your husband you know? As others have said, you need to get evidence of assets etc before showing your hand. Please get yourself a decent lawyer. It might be worth going on your local Mumsnet board and asking there if anyone knows a good divorce lawyer.

If you know the OW's name and approximate address then you can search the electoral register for her exact address. You can then check the Land Registry to find the deeds of the house.

Good luck OP and remember that you absolutely deserve better than this.

If his business is a limited company you can get the accounts from companies house for £1.

In that case I would hire a detective. It will be worth it in the long run.
I'm sorry your husband is such a twunt

It sounds as if he's worth a few bob. In your situation, I'd also be talking to a private detective. I don't think it will cost much to find out from them what you want to know. I would have thought they will be able to give you some idea of cost before you employ them. If the house isn't already in her name, he can quickly change it and squirrel away his assets so I'd not be showing my hand either.