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My partner moved in 2 months ago and now refuses to leave

144 replies

LilacwineGirl · 26/04/2012 13:14

Hi, my partner moved in to my house 2 months ago. We are not getting on at all. On top of this, he is refusing to look for a job, so he hangs around my home doing absolutely nothing and complaining about life. I have asked him to move out as he has huge temper rages and shouts at me and my 3 children. He is not paying any money towards the bills, food, mortgage etc I have asked him/ told him to go but he is refusing, saying that he gave up his council home to move in with me. The actual truth is that the council were evicting him for non payment of rent. He is saying that my house is now his home and I will have to pay him to go. Can I just change the locks and refuse him entry? I know I am really stupid and scared. I just work really hard to support my children and myself and I am scared that this is now turning into a money battle. When he moved in we agreed it was a temporary situation. I don't know what to do as stupid as it sounds I really don't want him sharing my bed and bedroom and I dont have a spare bedroom. I really don't want him around upsetting my children. I have had to call the police on previous occasions because of his mad temper. Please help the stupid idiot that I am.

OP posts:
KeepOrfThemCarbs · 28/04/2012 12:16

I am glad this has been sorted OP.

What a bloody situation. Brilliant help from MNers on here as well.

LilacwineGirl · 28/04/2012 12:19

Yes brilliant, the other night I felt so low and totally alone and then I got thinking about all those messages and felt secure. I have googled the Freedom P and am going to purchase it / turn over a new leaf!!!

OP posts:
UphillBothWays · 28/04/2012 12:29

yay for Mumsnet :)

Jux · 28/04/2012 12:38

Good on you Lilac!

timetoask · 28/04/2012 12:40

Well done to you for acting quickly and not lingering on for years with this man. You are a strong woman! Xx

AIBUqatada · 28/04/2012 12:59

I'm SO pleased for you and so relieved, Lilac. I was really worried when the first lot of police were unhelpful, and it is fantastic to hear that you have managed to get a better response from them now.

You have been strong and effective. Do congratulate yourself for managing this awful situation and getting a good result. It is sad to read you being so self-critical: you are simply a nice, kind, reasonable person who was faced with a person who was exactly the opposite of those things.

Stay strong. Don't make any concessions to this man and remember that you deserve maximum support and action from the police and any other agencies involved.

HateBeingCantDoUpMyJeans · 28/04/2012 13:01

I am do pleased for you. Take this as a positive step, you took control.

howmuchlonger · 28/04/2012 13:18

I'm currently doing the freedom programme through women's aid. Brilliant,it explains everything so well and you will sit there nodding at everything in amazement! I asked them if they'd met my ex lol!
You're a brave lady op, hold your head up high x

RandomMess · 28/04/2012 13:34

I am so glad to read your update.

All the best with the freedom programme - you deserve a positive wonderful relationship at some future point when you are truly ready for it.

clarajane1 · 28/04/2012 13:36

Freedom programme sounds wonderful- it will keep you strong.
What you have done takes enormous courage.You should feel so proud of
yourself that you have got that monster out of your life.

Blessings x

LilacwineGirl · 28/04/2012 13:46

Thankyou. I am truly overwhelmed at Msnet and the Biggest hearts of everyone.

OP posts:
captainmummy · 28/04/2012 18:59

Well done Lilac - i am also giggling at him kicking the door down...to meet the strong arm of the law. How funny! Couldn't have been better timed

LadySybilDeChocolate · 28/04/2012 19:15

That's really great news. Onwards and upwards! Hopefully, you'll never hear from the slime again.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 30/04/2012 10:58

Ah Lilac I am so happy to hear that you and your children have the house back. I LOVE the idea of his face when he was expecting to see you or a child, someone he could terrify (scaring people is obviously his thing) and instead of that - a brace of coppers with their handcuffs at the ready. Comeuppance and a half.

Do press charges if it is up to you, and don't even think about feeling sorry for him. You wouldn't stand a stranger trying to scare your kids would you?

ditavonteesed · 30/04/2012 11:09

just read this whole thread and I have to say I am so proud of you. what a fantastic strong person you are.

AIBUqatada · 30/04/2012 11:30

I hope everything is still ok Lilac. It does sound like you have got things sorted, but remember that we are still here to support you if you do have any kind of a setback.

Beefy1 · 17/02/2015 09:18

Hi me and my ex partner lived together in my house. He never helped towards shopping and bills I paid for everything but he is now refusing to leave. Even though he has his own home that he rents out

Allstoppedup · 17/02/2015 11:37

Just stumbled upon this reading with my heart in my throat and then actually cheered when I read your update about him being arrested.

You have been so brave. I hope you are still feeling better. Flowers

DeliciousMonster · 17/02/2015 11:41

Beefy1 - try starting a new thread for your issue.

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