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Legal matters

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Original poster

My partner moved in 2 months ago and now refuses to leave

144 replies

LilacwineGirl · 26/04/2012 13:14

Hi, my partner moved in to my house 2 months ago. We are not getting on at all. On top of this, he is refusing to look for a job, so he hangs around my home doing absolutely nothing and complaining about life. I have asked him to move out as he has huge temper rages and shouts at me and my 3 children. He is not paying any money towards the bills, food, mortgage etc I have asked him/ told him to go but he is refusing, saying that he gave up his council home to move in with me. The actual truth is that the council were evicting him for non payment of rent. He is saying that my house is now his home and I will have to pay him to go. Can I just change the locks and refuse him entry? I know I am really stupid and scared. I just work really hard to support my children and myself and I am scared that this is now turning into a money battle. When he moved in we agreed it was a temporary situation. I don't know what to do as stupid as it sounds I really don't want him sharing my bed and bedroom and I dont have a spare bedroom. I really don't want him around upsetting my children. I have had to call the police on previous occasions because of his mad temper. Please help the stupid idiot that I am.

OP posts:

Original poster

LilacwineGirl · 26/04/2012 19:25

Hi things went haywire. He came home, I repeatedly asked him to leave . He refused . I went into the bathroom to call the police. He smashed the door and broke in and ripped my phone away. I have gathered up my children and phoned the police.
The freedom program sounds great. I will research and definately do this. I am waiting now for help.
Many thanks

OP posts:

RandomMess · 26/04/2012 19:28

Hope the police turn up very soon.

Gigondas · 26/04/2012 19:29

You poor thing- I hope police arrive soon

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 26/04/2012 19:31

Are you safe for the moment? Hope the police are fast.

CointreauVersial · 26/04/2012 19:34

Hope you are safe, OP.

HotDAMNlifeisgood · 26/04/2012 19:55

Awful man. Well done calling the police. I hope you come back when you can to tell us you are all safe.

AThingInYourLife · 26/04/2012 20:11

Really hope you are OK

FannyPriceless · 26/04/2012 21:50

Oh god, really thinking of you. Hope you are OK and hope the police have been helpful. What a horrible man. Where are you now? And where is he?

colditz · 26/04/2012 21:56

I really hope you are ok x

Collaborate · 27/04/2012 00:27

For ripping the phone away they should throw the book at him. Make sure you insist that they press charges. That way you can get a restraining order against him on conviction which can last for up to 5 years.

Original poster

LilacwineGirl · 27/04/2012 06:17

Hi the police came , 2 very young men. He sweet talked and they have said they cannot do anything as he was not doing anything when they came. They will only take action if he is kicking off and they can then stop him. I know this is all going to happen again, so I have to call them when he gets mad. Thankyou so much for your help, it s keeping me going. I can't use my computer if he is around because he will just smash it if he sees this, but I will sneak to it when I can. He has got to go

OP posts:

TanteRose · 27/04/2012 06:28

Bloody hell - he HAS NO RIGHT to be in your house, if you are no longer in a relationship

what the hell are the police thinking??

the situation now is like if some random man knocked on your door and told you he was moving in.

I am so sorry - it must be completely terrifying

are you safe? is he in the house now?

just awful...keep posting, Lilac

Portofino · 27/04/2012 06:28

Did you show them the damage and explain that you asked him to leave? I can't believe that they took no action. Why did you not take the advice and lock him out?

oohlordylordy · 27/04/2012 06:35

OMG.. I am shocked and actually a little bit scared for you OP.

I cannot believe the police are seriously saying he has a right to live in your house. I mean, if you came home to find a few strangers making tea, could you not kick them out if they weren't creating a disturbance at exactly the time the police arrived?

That is scary beyond all belief.

Seriously. Change the locks. Now. Make sure your kids are safe elsewhere and you are not there alone.

CinnabarRed · 27/04/2012 06:39

That reaction from the police warrants a complaint to their superior officer surely. They were wrong as a matter of the law.

LoopyLoopsTootTootToots · 27/04/2012 06:47

Have you called the local police station (when he's not around) for their advice on getting you out?

It sounds like they couldn't do much at the time as the call was threat of violence and he wasn't being - I wonder if you tell them he's coming home at x time, you won't be letting him in, you know he will be difficult, they might agree to be there? Just a thought.

msrisotto · 27/04/2012 06:47

Look, he needs to go. Can you go to the police station and explain the situation and ask them to be there when you ask him to leave. I can't believe they'd say no given you've called them about his behavior before and he's prevented you from calling them. I'm so angry they said they couldn't do anything but it sounds like you need someone strong to help you, keep trying womens aid.

msrisotto · 27/04/2012 06:56

I'm horrified and appalled at the police.
Whereabouts in the country are you?

ComradeJing · 27/04/2012 06:58

That's bullshit. They can do something and they should have done something. Please, as cinnabar says, complain to their superior officer when you feel able.

You need to call the police again and say that he is refusing to leave your home. He has no right to be there. None at all.

mrspnut · 27/04/2012 07:06

I think you need to ring the station and ask to speak to the sergeant about what happened.
I'd also advise you to put his stuff outside and make sure he can't get in when you have someone else there. Then when he is breaking down the door the police will have to act. He can behave all sweetness and light in front of the police officers but your approach wil be the same, he has been asked to leave and has no claim to your property but is instead trying to cause damage.

Follyfoot · 27/04/2012 07:07

I would ring your local police station and ask to be put through to the control room. Tell them what happened, that the response of the officers who visited was wholly inadequate and that you want to speak to a senior officer now.

The bit about them witnessing him doing anything is rubbish. How do they ever arrest anyone then, as most crimes arent witnessed by the police at the time they occur? Take photos of your door too.

PattyPenguin · 27/04/2012 07:32

Try to find out if your local police force has a Domestic Violence Unit. I found the local one where I live by Googling the name of the force and "domestic abuse". Then phone the unit and tell them what's been happening.

You need legal advice too. A solicitor can help with arrangements to legally bar your exP from your house. Try the Rights of Women website www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/

There are lots more useful links on the Domestic Violence web guide here on MN at www.mumsnet.com/webguide/domestic-violence

Figgygal · 27/04/2012 07:38

That is outrageous how can the police think he has a right to be there when it is your home, you have asked him to leave and he's only been there 2 months not 2 years or any significant time at all. Chuck his stuff out next time he goes out change the locks and call some male friends to be there when he gets back since the police seem useless. I'm also all for giving them another call and speaking to someone senior there.

HecateTrivia · 27/04/2012 07:44

What a crock of shit

It's your house. He's no right to be there. The police could have removed him. He's no legal claim to the house, he's just some bloke who's been living there for 2 months. TWO months.

Phone the police and complain. You have the right to throw him out. It's NOT HIS HOME

The police can't remove him because he wasn't doing anything when they got there?

This is total bollocks.

Maybe they couldn't remove him if he had a legal right to be in the home because it was his too. If that's not the case, then it is bollocks to claim that.

lookingtobuy · 27/04/2012 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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