Starting the journey thread 3

[squirrelnutkins1]

Don't want to lose touch so new thread ready x

@Anaesthetist83 sorry you've been in hospital. When will they update you on how many embryos they have frozen? Hope you're able to rest.

@VenusStarr you're amazingly strong. Do whatever helps you most. Do you get the bank hol off?

@venusstarr oh no, I'm so sorry, it was a bit insensitive of me to ask, please don't feel like you have to share if you dont want to xx I'm glad you have someone to be taking care of you, and that you're not having any pain. that must be a good sign, surely? I'm sure you must have so many emotions, I'm sending positive vibes, hoping for the best for you, stay strong xx

Thank you @veeboo, I don't feel very strong :( I'd started to feel a bit excited but all that has gone now. I don't know how to feel. Dh feels that if the worst is confirmed and it is an ectopic that we should focus on the uterine pregnancy and not think of the other as a baby. I'm not sure my head works in the same way. It's just being in the unknown limbo, again 💔

Please don't be sorry @CloudSway, I didn't think you were insensitive. I'm hoping no pain is a good sign, my shoulders are aching but I think it's tension. The nurse said ectopic shoulder pain is very specific and I'd know if it was that. Feel like I've spent this whole year wishing my life away :( I'm hoping that we'll see some progress with the actual pregnancy next week, might give me some hope. Hope you're OK? I'm sorry, I've lost track of where you are up to? Xx

Awww @VenusStarr - sorry to hear your update and I hope you manage a few relaxing days away.

I’m still like a beached whale, and uncomfortable one at that. My waist circumference has increased from 29 inches to 36 😳. Home from
Hospital, but in honesty, only because it is easier to get paracetamol and antiemetics than wait for them on a busy ward.

Some
Positive news though -
16 retrieved
15 mature
12 fertilised
10 still developing
8 of those as expected for day 4
2 a bit behind
So looking like we may have some embabies to freeze for transfer at a later stage 🤞

@VenusStarr and @Anaesthetist83 soo sorry u ladies are having such a horrible time! Keep us updated and as always if yous want/need to talk we re all always here x

Morning ladies hows everyone holding up? Hope you all have a lovely weekend x💜

Thinking of you @VenusStarr ❤️

So sorry to hear you've been in hospital overnight @Anaesthetist83, but it sounds really positive news about how many you're going to have on ice 🤞🏻🍀

Sorry if I was insensitive @FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF - I didn't realise what you'd been through with your first round 😔 It's such a roller-coaster, isn't it? Here's hoping that you get way more highs than lows with this round ❤️

I hope things are looking good for your weekend @2fingers22018? I went out for dinner with a couple of good friends last night, one of which is imminently getting married. She was telling us that she was going to start TTC on honeymoon and then looked me dead in the eye and asked me what mine and DP's plans were for kids... I just couldn't lie straight to a good mates face so ended up outing myself about the IVF. And now I feel totally exposed and shite about it 😓 I now feel like I'm going to be under the microscope with my friends - am I being irrational?? I guess the upside is that I won't have to fabricate any stories about why I'm not hitting my beloved G&T's during treatment 🍸🙄

@VenusStarr I’m sorry to hear that you are in limbo and I hope you are doing what you need to to get through it! Thinking of you xx

@Anaesthetist83 sorry you have been in hospital hope you are feeling better shortly! Sounds like you will have a fair few to freeze so that’s good!

@bunhead34 no I didn’t think you were being insensitive! It is a massive rollercoaster I think we spend so much time trying to get pregnant that you don’t thunk about all the worries that come with actually being pregnant but these things happen and it was awful but we just have to keep going! I’m not sure how I’ll feel if this ones doesn’t work or if the same things happen might take a break but then I think I’ll be getting older and all that it really is just a shitty situation to be in! Sorry for the rant lol!

As for telling people we didn’t and I found it very lonely my dh isn’t the talk about your feelings guy and Always wants to be positive which is hard when your drugged yo with hormones so I told my best friend when I found I was pregnant after the bleed and also told my mil and sil when we were on a family holiday as the day we went away was the day I had my loss confirmed and to be honest it’s a better feeling to know that I have others to talk to now and will be there for me so do t panic in sure you won’t be under a microscope and hopefully they will only talk to you about it when you want to!

@2fingers22018 hope your ok!

Hope everyone else is ok! Xx

@BambiOnIce80 tellin ppl does have its advantages and disadvantages its less lonely in1 sense and u dnt have to lie which is gd but sumtimes i think ppl get nervous and say daft things. How did ur friend react? I find bein honest and sayin i dnt want to talk about it all the time helps i said that to a friend of mine and she said k im not being insensitive not askin u about it i do care but i ll wait until u bring things up and ur in the mood to talk bout it which was really understanding of her! My BIL was the biggest shock of all he txtd me the other day to say i hope ur k i know its hard us talkin bout the baby all the time(my DS is pregnant). I was gobsmacked that a guy was being so open with his emotions lol

@FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF i ll prob sound mad sayin this but honestly being pregnant as much as i want it scares me! I know me im a worrier and if it ever happens after it takin soo long i know i ll be on edge the entire time i seriously just look at it as a means to an end fx a baby. How r u and ur OH doin? I hope ur hols helped u chill. Anyone got any interesting plans for the weekend ive been talked into goin out with a friend tonite she says shes got tix for a little surprise scares me she wnt tel me where for lol

Hi all, hope you don't mind if I join your group here, would be so nice to have people who understand to talk to about this sort of thing!

So my story - age 33, TTC for a year, went to drs for usual tests etc. DH's SA they said was normal, my Progesterone they said was normal and showed that I'm ovulating, and for my day 3 bloods (which I actually had on day 4 if that makes any difference) they left me a voicemail saying that they were normal.... However when I went to pick up the print out of results it lists my FSH as 14.6 which I can see from looking online that is dreadful. In addition, my cycles are much shorter than they used to be (25 days Vs 30 days a couple of years ago), and my periods are now so short and light (36 hours of bleeding this month), I'm convinced my ovaries have packed up :(

My appointment with the specialist isn't until November so I've booked a private appointment for September for AMH and AFC but am struggling to think of anything else in the meantime.

@2fingers22018 not mad at all! It’s weird but when I got pregnant with dd even though it took me a lots of test to get the positives once I did I didn’t do any more and that was it I wasn’t worried (I guess being younger and more naive helped) now I think it worse because we are having to do this your already freaking out and stressed that your just not going to stop worrying maybe once we get to the 12 week mark I might just be able to but I think until then I will be super scared!! Yes we are doing really well it has been nice to get away we have talked lots about the next cycle and the previous one! I have enjoyed myself far to much with drinks and food so when I get back it will be very much jumping on the health wagon! Have continued you with the vits while here though so feel I am still doing a bit towards it! But have not drank enough water so will prob be a struggle to get back up to the 2ltrs a day! Then will be low carb high protein and my full fat milk lol!

Sounds like a lovely friend hope it’s sonethjng you will enjoy xx

Hey.
Sorry I've been quiet. Had a bad week but feel brighter today. I had some counselling yesterday but I think I'm about done with it now, I don't agree with everything she says. We all have our own personal morale code I guess.

Anywho, welcome newbie @NewSew00 we're a lovely bunch. Feel free to download all your feelings. When's your private appt? It's worth the money if you can't wait til Nov 👍🏻 Hope it can put your mind at ease. It's def hard for the thoughts not to take over your life! I think we've all mentioned trying to have a few nice plans along the way so there's other things to look forward to.

@VenusStarr big hugs and positive thoughts to you 💕💕💕

@Anaesthetist83 how's the bloating today?

@veeboo how many weeks are you now? Are you going to have an early scan? Xx

@BambiOnIce80 I can relate to that feeling very well. I'm super private but have told a couple of people now and it's quite a relief, not so much that I want to tell anyone else tho! I told one friend about 16 months into ttc (whilst holding her few week old baby 😩) and she's been ace. I told another after our mc and she's been a super star and told one other after the mc because she kept going on and on and on about me not being myself and she's only asked me once since how I am! So she's not knowing anymore!
How did your friends react? Sorry I made that all about me 🙈 you may find it really helpful to have someone to confide in. Only tell them what you want to tell them and like @2fingers22018 said, don't be scared to say you don't want to talk about it.

@2fingers22018 your BIL sounds awesome! What a nice guy sending that message! Wonder what your surprise will be!?

@FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF so pleased your having a lovely time and indulging a bit 😋

@CloudSway you sound very brave having to sort the house alone. You've got this 💪🏻

How is everyone else? Sorry if I've not tagged you, just trying to catch up on the last few days.

I'm cd25 and I feel sooo bloated. I woke up in the night with a horrid pain in my right that felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach and it took until about 11 for it to go. I'm also super hungry and spotty! All sounds like AF symptoms so just trying to mentally prep myself for more disappointment and on to the last round of Letrazole 🙏🏻

Hi @squirrelnutkins1 sorry you've had a tough week. Hope next week is better. I am 6 weeks 2 days by my calculation. I have booked a scan for when I am 8.

@Anaethetist83 that's good news about your results. Keeping fx for you. Hope you are feeling better.

@bunhead I also found telling people helpful but I definitely had to control the conversation and if someone said something that wasnt helpful I'd tell them. Noone ever took offence and it made it easier after that. I also only told people I 100% trusted.

@VenusStarr how you feeling? It must be hard not to think ahead at all the possibilities and unknowns.

Whoops sorry meant @Bambionice re telling people!

Thanks @squirrelnutkins1, it can be tough. Sometimes I love sorting through all the memories and sometimes it's awful, I just take it as is. Sorry the counselling has come the end of its use, I found the same thing. You start learning what they want to hear or what they think and then it wasn't helpful anymore. Do you feel it was helping you? I hope they haven't said anything too inappropriate to you...

@BambiOnIce80 I am the opposite, I tell EVERYONE, friends, family, postman, strangers on the street.... 😜🤣 Okay not quite! But I used to be so painfully private that people I worked closely with all day didn't realise my mum had died until I had a meltdown 6 months later... after counselling etc I have learnt to make myself talk as it helps my state of mind. It was very hard to begin, but now I'm finding that the more I share, 90% of people are kinder, more understanding, and open up about their own experiences. So there's about 6 people at work who know, my closest family, a few friends. It's definitely not for everyone though, and I have definitely made a mistake with a couple of work people who are less sensitive... but you have to do what works for you. I just like not feeling like I have a horrible secret and having to cover it up, it's quite freeing! Plus if im having a lot of bad days i can share my misery about lol, I don't feel like I'm whining on to just one person. As @2fingers22018 says, bd clear with what you need from whoever you tell and you should be fine.

So my new aim is trying not to predict timescales etc and just go with the flow at the moment. All that down the drain as both of my only 2 cousins called yesterday to say they are getting married (not to each other 😉) in July and November next year, in Poland and Antigua!! Cue wondering if I'll be able to go, and very mixed feelings that if I can it probably means we've been unsuccessful! Garrr

@CloudSway I've had the same issue with a wedding this December in Cuba. We knew that unless I got pregnant pronto last year I wouldnt be able to go because of zika and the nhs rules about treatment. Luckily we didnt have to pay the deposit until this September. We just kept quiet knowing I won't be going but now I'm pregnant DP can go (as long as everything stays okay) which is nice as it's his friend.

Thanks very much for sharing all your 'people you've told' experiences @2fingers22018 @FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF @veeboo @squirrelnutkins1 @CloudSway ❤️ I'd told my friend years ago about my XH and I having primary unexplained and she's always held the opinion that it was probably him rather than me (!), so I'd probably have no problem when I started TTC again - she also said she knows plenty of people who've struggled TTC and then they got pregnant as soon as they 'relaxed' 🤨 Is it a red rag to a bull to anyone else when someone says that?! Anywho - I think she was more surprised that we'd been trying for nearly 2 years and she didn't know, tbh. She did offer to babysit if IVF is successful though, so that was something! 😂

How was your surprise with your friend @2fingers22018? What a lovely thing for her to do 😊 DP and I went out for a 10 course tasting menu with matching drinks last night (I bloody love a tasting menu with paired drinks! 🍜🥂😋), so his head is a little sore this morning 😏

Welcome @NewSew00 👋 I'm new here myself and everyone's been lovely ☺️ I'm also getting my AMH and AFC done in September to see how/if we're going to proceed with IVF. Anxious about what the result will be (I'm 39), but tentatively excited to be taking action all the same.x

Sorry to hear you've had such a bad week @squirrelnutkins1 💐I had counselling when my marriage was ending and I think there can come a time when it's just run its course and we're just done with it. If it's a case of you not seeing eye to eye with the counsellor though, could you change to someone else? I think I'll be on the hunt for a new one with all that's to come this year.x

2 weddings abroad is a bit of a tricky one @CloudSway (although very exciting too!). Can you just book them if/when it becomes apparent that they won't clash with being heavily pregnant/giving birth?! Definitely not helpful to achieving your going with the flow plan though 😏 I'm loving your telling people with wanten abandon! 😄 The potential scenario that's worrying me the most is if/when I should tell my boss? 🤔 I'm hoping I can get away with annual leave/working from home so that I don't need to tell him, but I've read that you can need up to 3 scans a week on the run up to egg collection and I think I'll therefore have to tell him why I need to work from home so often (not particularly normal in my job to wfh) 😣 We've already had a gazillion pregnancy announcements at work recently, so I didn't really want to have to worry him about something that may well come to nothing... Urgh! 😒 Time will tell what's best to do, I guess 🙄

@BambiOnIce80 yes the relax comment or 'you'll get pregnant when you stop trying' totally wind me up and make me shit down.

What's your relationship with your boss like? I have a fab line manager and his boss is great too. I told them both and they were fab but I'm also lucky that my job can be quite flexible and working from home is common. They were very discreet. I told him this week that I'm 6 weeks along because I've been so I'll and he was expecting me to have my iui soon. He was so pleased for us bless him. It might help for you to be armed with all your HR policies if you think it'll go down that route

Haha that should say shut down!! 🤣

Your experience with telling your bosses sounds like a really good one @veeboo ❤️ I do have a very good relationship with my boss and I know he'd be completely discrete - it's just with us having so many people going on mat leave as it is I feel like this will be a complete headache for him that he really doesn't need 😔 If IVF doesn't work and I've managed to keep it to myself, he'll have never had to worry, if that makes sense? I luckily know our HR policies inside out for people I've had to manage that have had IVF (entitled to the same time off as for any other hospital appointment) - it's just our clinic is an hour and 30 minutes away from where I work, so it'd make more sense to work from home on scan days.

I think I'll just let him know that I have a series of outpatient appointments close together, so I'd appreciate working from home. If he wants to know what they're for then I'll have to tell him 😣 I think he'll be shocked because he probably thinks I don't want kids 🙄 It is what it is and we'll just have to deal with it!

*shit down was far more fun!! 💩😂

Does anyone else get a bit annoyed with the weddings abroad its gd to get a little hol but last yr i had a few i had to say no at the end up i was like im not stressin myself out about saving up all this money for weddings lol i need to concentrate on saving up for private ivf so its there as a back up if i need it. Yh last nite was great champagne bar followed by comedy club im soo into it atm takes ur mind off everything to get out and have a laugh! Got af anyway so may aswell have a couple eh? @BambiOnIce80 oh dnt get me started on the relax convo or maybe ul have twins they dnt even put in 2embryos in my area unless its an extreme circumstance they told us @squirrelnutkins1 my councellor was the same i felt like she 1kept repeatin herself and2 she just was not on my wave length she was way too hippy diply for me😂

@bunhead30 thats understandable but I honestly dont think you should worry about him. I'm a manager and I'd rather know if the person felt comfortable as it helps me support the individual better. It's his job to deal with that and I dont see why it would be stressful.

@2fingers22018 yes feel exactly the same about weddings! One of my friends was moaning recently that her wedding cost £80 a head and her guests should be grateful. I was like it cost me and my partner hundreds to go to your wedding!!

Sorry if that sounded insensitive...I meant I dont see why it would be stressful for him (not you)!