IVF/ICSI May/June 1000 posts plus :)

[Cauliflower82]

Hi peeps :)

I’ll hyperlink this to our old thread so we can continue bitching about crystal82 😂

I can’t believe we’ve almost got to 1000 posts. I didn’t even know that was a thing - thank you @kittykatsmile because I had no idea it would just max out and I can NOT go on without you all. That’s not even an option.

@mouse1234567 wow, you have so many frozen! That's great! To be honest, like your doc says, I wouldn't worry too much about the grading - I didn't even ask what mine were as I knew I would panic! I would have thought the clinic would only freeze ones they thought were viable and the weak ones wouldn't survive the thaw? I have read (as you probably have too!) so many successes with lower grade embryos and failures with higher. Although I didn't ask what my grade was I did take a picture and then googled like crazy and came to the conclusion (with my expert knowlesge obvs!! ) mine was a 4 or 5aa or a/b and I didn't get a wiff of a second line!

@Mrbay I am glad you are feeling better and treated yourself to bland candyfloss Yes that gel is probably partly to blame at least especially if you are having a withdrawal bleed it's probably trying to counter that which is messing things up. I know you asked g&t about the counselling but hope you don't mind me butting in too. I just finished a course and found it helpful in dealing with past and present things. It does definitely depend on your therapist though and you need to find the right one. It wasn't until I found my 3rd therapist I felt things improve! God I sound high maintenance!!

@Ginandtonic31 Speeding awareness course...were you never told to slam on as soon as you see the speed camera lines to avoid these degrading courses?! However, I don't blame you for going to bed - I expect it's enough to send anyone to sleep, let alone a pregnant lady! Thank you for that advice about the gel. I think I am going to ask for injections for next time as that gel was horrid. The worst bit was (sorry if TMI) the extreme dryness down there whilst I was taking it. I am now actually terrified of the menopause because of it haha!

@Zest11 yes I slammed on the brakes to 40 and then as I got flashed realised it was a 30 🤦🏼‍♀️

@ginandtonic31 and @zest11 - thank you, I'm going to contact the work cash plan to access the counselling. How do you know if you have found the right counsellor?

Ref gel, I think I should have read the side effects better! The injection sounds better and less messy!

I'm sure that there has been studies but I wonder what the messing link is to raise the success rate of IVF?

Well my cramps/endo pain was back with Vengeance tonight, I need to speak with the consultant to see what I can take and still function for the next cycle as I cannot deal with this again

@Mrbay No idea what the missing link is with IVF, it's probably different for everyone! Also, if your result today is negative you will get a follow up with your consultant so you can ask about medication etc then.
Regarding a counsellor, give it a few goes with whoever you get given but also be aware of your gut. The first therapist I had was some (probably) 19 year old lad but I told myself off for being judgemental and pursued for a few times but it was pointless. Then I re referred myself a year or so later but was told the waiting list was a few months so looked privately in the meantime. I got a recommendation but I just didn't "feel" it with her during our initial consultation. (Sterotypical nodding lady with pitying eyes, pics of her grandkids everywhere, she asked me if I was OCD too (I am definitely not!) and I just felt like she didn't "get" it). Then thankfully the NHS called me back early and I liked the therapist I was given then. It really depends on you, how confident you are in being open, whether you need reassurance, clear strategies and basically, it comes down with whether you gel with and have respect for the therapist. I find it hard to open up so this lady was helpful as at first she talked about her own stories/experiences and that then gave me the confidence to realise I was not alone and speak about my own issues. Some people however might not have wanted to hear her ramble on about her own experiences and get straight on with their issues. I hope that helps a bit!
Also, I have a question for you (if you don't mind me asking!) I remember you said on here that your ovaries are basically older than your 31 years. Do you know why that is? My AMH is 11 and I KNOW that is "normal" but I also know that for a 31 year old, that is definitely in the low range (but I do appreciate could be much lower!). I actually looked on a graph and it's average for someone aged 38/39. Now that's not much of an issue in itself as I know it's still fine to get pregnant then (my mum was 37 with my brother) but I wonder why mine is a lot below average. I've raised it with my clinic a few times and basically they don't know or care! I feel there must be a reason!

Ahh crap, that was a long rambly post, sorry!!

@Zest11 can I weigh in? Not that I'm an expert, but I get the impression that AMH is just luck of the draw. I believe mine is around 8 (I'm 39) and I think it's called 'fine' so not great for my age. My best friend is slightly younger than me and hers is 2 something. She has a 2 year old conceived naturally (the month before starting IVF; one of those) and I'm very much hoping she's currently pregnant after doing ICSI a few weeks ago. She's not saying but the progesterone was still in the fridge when I was babysitting at the weekend and she didn't seem hungover the next day... Miss Marple on the case (or maybe Keith Poirot). Sorry for the tangent. Just thought you might like some success stories... oh. Also. Lower AMH doesn't impact quality so focus on getting that up (can't remember if you have Frosties for a frozen? If so then ignore my advice :-) )

Echo everything you say about a counsellor. I picked one based purely on whether I liked their face and their tone in their biography. Just found mine online. I found her hugely helpful, but would have gone back to the list if I hadn't. The one at my clinic was slightly annoying but then i hadn't chosen to go there, so I may have gone in with the wrong attitude. Overall still got a bit out of it.

Happy Monday all x

@KittyKatSmile Eeek for your friend, that must be so exciting! To be pregnant at the same time as your best friend must be amazingggg :D Thank you for sharing the story, I do like to hear success stories from people who understand things. It's the "well my cousin's friend's sister couldn't conceive but finally fell pregnant when she was 90 and had stopped thinking about it so had relaxed" I can't stand! I also LOVE your investigative works, nothing gets past Keith! I assume quality is okay as we have 4 frozen but I've no idea really as I didn't ask.

Have a nice week everyone. What are all the teachers up to? @Cauliflower82 @Welshpugmomma arghh I can't remember who else is! So sorry if I missed you out, I'm sure there were a few of us!

@Zest11 that's like the GP receptionist when I went to book in. She was like ahhh my friend was having ivf then she got caught naturally just before. I was like well we've never tried naturally as there's too high chance we could pass on a life changing illness. She just looked at me gone out like she couldn't figure out what I was on about.

Hey ladies , lovely Monday here hope you all have the same :) I really have nothing exciting going on feel like biggest bore, I've really started missing my hubs this week :( still have a month and half til we will be together again. I've been living with the parents since end of Jan and it's finally getting to us all I think... I can't keep my mouth shut sometimes so that's the goal for the week! I'm visiting my friend for a few nights in a couple of weeks so that will be nice she's got a little one so I might get some practise is as well lol.
Scan is on Thursday, keep having thoughts it's going to be twins (only had one put back but runs in both families!) 😂 Fx it's a healthy scan whatever... Btw I'm not a teach, but I can pretend!
Hope you're doing well @zest11 :)
So are you from Guernsey Keith @KittyKatSmile ? Is it crazy when the holidays start, I've never been so not sure how touristy it is?
@ginandtonic31 managing the sicky feeling, I don't know how it cope if I was in work lol I literally snooze for an hour every afternoon as well haha?!
@mrbay hope the clinic gives you some more info and get you booked in for a follow up soon, sorry it didn't work for you :(
Also still doing the X3 pessary a day it's started to really bug me now and going to have to order more which I think is gonna be another £££ eurghhhh

@Welshpugmomma yes, I'm from Guernsey. It's not too bad in the summer really as tourism suffered quite a lot once it became cheaper to fly to Spain than there!! It's beautiful there though, especially in the summer. The beaches are lovely.

I am counting down the days until I can stop these beastly drugs. I am so bloated. Plus the ducking pessaries keep melting. As I messaged my friend this morning: 'had another pessary meltdown today. Halfway up my bum. FML.'

@kittykatsmile When have you got to carry on til? Is it 12 weeks? I keep getting forgetful thinking I've not done the pess and realising I already have about 5 mins later eurghhh 😉 im trying to plan a little girly trip with my pal think we're gonna catch up this week to discuss places after the meltdown about the 5 hour drive hotel she's preliminary booked ;)

@Ginandtonic31 some people just don't have a clue do they! fair play to you though for giving it some back to her! I'm glad she was taken aback, people don't realise do they!

@welshpugmomma Arghh your husband being away...that sounds liks such a drag! Not long until your scan though :) How come you are living with parents? (Do you mind me asking) I couldn't think of anything worse!

@Zest11 @Ginandtonic31 My best friend was at a wedding at the weekend (I was NFI hence babysitting!) and this girl we know (with quite the knack for saying insensitive, stupid things) asked her how 'making baby #2 was going'. My friend messaged me and was like 'you fucking dick. Either it's going really badly, so I don't want to talk to you about it, or it's going well and I don't want to talk to you about it. Basically, when I want to talk to you about it, I will'!!!
WTF do people expect as an answer?! I feel like I've known for bloody years not to ask questions you may not like the answer to....
idiots....

@Zest11 @Ginandtonic31 My best friend was at a wedding at the weekend (I was NFI hence babysitting!) and this girl we know (with quite the knack for saying insensitive, stupid things) asked her how 'making baby #2 was going'. My friend messaged me and was like 'you fucking dick. Either it's going really badly, so I don't want to talk to you about it, or it's going well and I don't want to talk to you about it. Basically, when I want to talk to you about it, I will'!!!
WTF do people expect as an answer?! I feel like I've known for bloody years not to ask questions you may not like the answer to....
idiots....

Clever old Keith...

People are so nosey. They drive me mad!

Well I'm officially discharged from the clinic with a plan to wean off my medication! Baby was growing as should be today. I've a huge bruise though causing the bleeding.

@Ginandtonic31 That's great you've been discharged from the clinic and good luck for your scan on Thursday @Welshpugmomma.

I'm hating this at the moment. I'm still exhausted but no morning sickness yet which would be lovely but I would happily take that right now.

I started bleeding again last night by with massive clots this time. It's eased so no more bleeding so far today but the EPU can't see me until Wednesday morning so I am just stuck waiting not knowing what's going on. Even better is that it's DH's birthday today and he is having to cover for me as I can't face anyone today. I still have a day and a half to get through

Is it brown or red @CornishMaid1? The fact it's eased is good.

Hey all!

@zest11 @welshpugmomma - Cool, I'll go in with an open mind and see what happens (runs off to Google local peeps!)

My AMH was 1.9 and 2.1 I think, I had a 2nd.test and it raised over a few months. It's just an indication and it's more to do with how many follicles you have, my consultant expected mine to be in worst shape! I've had endo for a number of years so this has killed parts of my ovaries. But I did manage to get all 3 eggs to day 5/6 and be final grades of ab and bb I think but clearly that means nothing as it hasn't worked this time!
I've not called the clinic yet with the negative result yet as I forgot, I nearly forgot to do the test this morning! Well I did, had to stop mid flow waddle to grab the test and squeeze the last mls into the pot FML.
Thanks for reminding me that I've got to call them!!
I'd better prepare my questions!

@KittyKatSmile - I always answer that with, oh are you my gynecologist now? Stops them right in their tracks and makes them realise that you wouldn't ask someone if they've got any other changes to their health or relationship! Nosey dicks!

@Ginandtonic31 - that's great news!! Do you feel like you can finally relax now?

@CornishMaid1 - Sorry not sure what to say, waiting for answers to anythig personal is difficult, especially one where you've put some much effort into it. I'm keeping everything crossed for you

@Ginandtonic31 it's eased to brownish now but it was proper red blood. If it was brown I think I would have been okay but it was such heavy red bleeding with giant clots. I just hate waiting to find out.

You hope after the IVF and everything wr have to go through that once we get a positive everything will be fine so this just feels so cruel.

@CornishMaid1 I wonder if you've got a haematoma too? Although they didn't seem concerned I've googled and worried myself.

@Ginandtonic31 haematoma is one of the ones that one of the BFN girls had and she had no problems other than the early bleeding; it just went away in the end. Courage friend.

@CornishMaid1 so sorry you're having to wait like this. My heart goes out to you. Poor darling xx

@Ginandtonic31 yayy congratulations for being discharged, another milestohe achieved!

@CornishMaid1 arghh how frustrating about the bleeding. I am glad for you that it has now gone brown. I hope tomorrow goes quickly for you.

@Mrbay How strange that your amh went up a little...very confusing but obviously great for you! I am sorry you have endo, I heard that it can be unbelievably painful. I am sorry that this cycle didn't work. At least with bleeding early it means we don't have to wait around for that to happen so we can move forwards.

Interesting read on the comeback's some us have on the "how's trying?" chat. I WISH I had the confidence to say some of those things however we have kept our troubles very private.

Who's watching the Love Island final tonight?!

@Zest11 I'm trying to watch it. But I'm desperate to go to bed!!!

@KittyKatSmile they didn't seem concerned. Just said it explained the bleeding. I think they would have asked me back if they were concerned rather than discharge me. I'm at the midwife in two weeks as well so will ask her.

@Zest11 having watched every single episode, I really can't be bothered to watch the final. I really just don't care enough about any of them and can't be arsed to watch them all being mushy and smug today. May tune in at 10:15pm to see the announcement.

Oh, and to be clear, none of those were things we've actually said; just things we've texted to each other!!!