Thread 33 | TTC1 | From warm wombles to needles and exploding boobs - we've got it covered. Join us - we love to talk!

[Jamon]

Join me TTC1ers xx

Am sorry gee take care of yourself.

The scan went ok. It was better than I thought but hurt a bit. He was quite rough the bloke. Far mor discreet. Need to get on diet before seeing consultant in April. Basically there were no obvious problems.

Hello everyone

I’m a newbie here and thou I should introduce myself. I’ve not posted much although I have learnt so much already from reading everyone’s different stories. It’s been really helpful.

I’m 38 and have been TTC for 2 years. All my tests reported me to be seemingly normal and healthy (except for the fact that I need to lose 2 stone in weight which I just can’t seem to shift), however, DH showed reduced semen parameters.
It also turned out he had a varicocele which we had treated 3 months ago, privately. We were hoping this would have fixed the problem and we’d conceive naturally but it’s only been 3 months and were advised to crack on with fertility treatment given my age.

So we’ve attended the group information appointment with nhs (Birmingham women’s hospital) last week to kick start ICSI treatment. Waiting to sign the consent forms now and I’m guessing the treatment itself will begin end of Feb.

The anticipation of what is to come is making me increasingly nervous and scared. And I can see my DH who is usually as calm as a cucumber also getting anxious.

Hopefully we will survive this and dare I even raise my hopes of it even being successful?!

I’m so sorry @geeup. I really hope you’re okay. Please don’t try to bottle it all in, just let it out whatever way you can. Cry, scream and sob. I found I could openly ugly cry when I went swimming in the morning and nobody would really notice as long as I did the front crawl and kept my face underwater as long as possible after my first failed IVF.

Thanks @Frau, I did opposite sides for injections after fretting. I forgot that Cetrotide gives me an angry looking raised horsefly bite at the injection site but it goes down pretty quickly.

Hello @Dia12, sorry your in this position but you’ll find support and info here. You’re the same age as me

For those of you who are new to injecting yourself, I found the following tip and have been doing it this way:

Pinch your tummy as normal, rest the needle tip on your skin, then do a cough. Your tummy swells out and before you know it, the needle is in and you don’t really feel it because you concentrate on the cough. It works for me anyway!

2nd scan today for me. Lining is 12.6m and 15 follicles ranging from 11m to 22m in size. I’m now waiting further instructions from the clinic. I’m going to finish packing tonight for flight tomorrow. I really hope this works, I really hope it does. I’ve done everything I can but I understand that you can do everything that is asked of you and follow all instructions to the letter, it’s really all down to the luck of biology. It’s taken me nearly 18 months to comes to terms with that after the last failure and I think if this one also ends in a bfn, I could handle it a whole better than the last bfn. We all handle things differently, I guess you just have to find a way to handle it the healthiest way you can for your own sanity. For all of you going through this, good luck, I sincerely mean that. And if it does end in a bfn, please, please, please know it is NOT your fault. As soon as et is done, it’s out of everyone’s hands and there is nothing else you can do but to wait.

gee hope you’re doing ok, or as well as can be expected.

dia hi and welcome. Sorry that you find yourself here, but we’re a nice bunch.

babipot pleased that the scan went ok for you. That’s one thing ticked off the list.

antonia thanks so much for those words - gosh I needed to hear that! The cycle of blaming yourself is so easy to fall into and I frequently ask myself why this isn’t working and why my body is so useless. Important to remember that isn’t the case. I wish you all the luck for your transfer!

Off to acupuncture in an hour or so (will try not to bawl my eyes out this time...) and ET tomorrow morning. I have no idea how many embryos are still in play because I didn’t call the clinic to find out and they said they’d call me if anything had dramatically changed. I figured that no news was probably good news.

Mr Neuer and I had a tough discussion last night, too. I opened up and said that if we don’t have a child, my life simply cannot continue as it is. I’ll have to do something that gives me some fulfilment and satisfaction, which I’m not getting at the moment. It may involve moving away, living in the country, working with animals- I’ve no idea, but what I do know is that I’m desperately unhappy with my life at the moment. I really upset him by saying this because he’s such a stable type who hates the idea of change and now I feel incredibly guilty for spilling my feelings out like that. What’s frightening me is that I thought my marriage was rock solid before all of this shit started - now I’m questioning whether we’ll drift apart if this treatment doesn’t work.

Glad it's Friday....Hello all

Welcome Dia, I'm new too & welcome.

Antonia- sounds v promising & I hope it works out for you too.

Good to hear the scan was ok Babipot. When is yours Quiet?

Not long until FET kwick- fingers crossed!

geeup- I hope you're doing as well as you can be.

Frau- hope your visit to the woo doctor is ok. I can't make up my mind about acupuncture- sometimes I find it helps, at other times I feel like I'm frittering away £££
What you said about thinking about a future without a child really resonated. It's not the future I want, but it may be the future I have- and like you, I feel like need to think about what that alternative might look like if this doesn't work out. This puts such a strain on even the strongest of relationships. It's very brave to raise it with your DH. I often feel very sad too- it's like I don't even recognise myself anymore. It's just fucking shit. Drank too much last night, need more wine now methinks!

I will end my epic post...got an appointment with Dr Ramsey in a few weeks, but unfortunately Legoland is closed?!

Hi dia - welcome! Sorry to hear about the creeping nerves, but can understand why - have you talked about it with your DH?

Good luck when ET comes around Antonia and Frau; Antonia think those are very wise words for anyone TTC, thank you for writing that xx

roule have got the HSG booked for early Feb at the moment, but think that might end up being when AF is due so will try to move it...that's exciting you're seeing the big cheese - hope you get some answers, even if no Legoland :)

geeup thinking of you xxx

Evening ladies, hope you’re all doing well.

Well, I’m now PUPO as they say and, honestly really not enjoying this 2 week wait caper at all! Had a 5AA blast transferred on Saturday morning and was also really pleased to hear that I’ve got 2 frosties. It’s awfully tense in the Neuer household at the moment as both of us are terrified of it all going wrong. . . Neither of us have the ability to think positive in the genes, I’m afraid!

roule thanks- I’m undecided about acupuncture, too, but I keep going because my acupuncturist is lovely and a former midwife, so I get the odd practical tip here and there. I know what you mean, though - I’m a cynic too!

gee hope you’re ok

Thanks quiet! and all the best for egg transfer next week antonia.

Congrats @FrauNeuer wishing you all the best for your tww. Really hope it works for you.
Afraid it's still a BFN for me. Glad I tested early so I've come to terms with it by OTD on Tuesday. For me personally, if I waited the whole time until the grand reveal on OTD I'd be absolutely inconsolable. But that's just me.
I'm currently looking into immunology (controversial I know) before my (possibly) final FET. Will probably go quiet for a bit (no news for ages) but will be lurking and wishing you all well.
@kwick how are you doing?

Can I ask you all a question how much did your scans hurt when you had them? Mine killed! I felt the dr was quite rough.

Am on serious weight loss until appointment in April/ I

@Babipotjam mine didn't hurt at all, just a bit of pressure when looking at my ovaries. I'm sorry yours was so painful. :(( Good luck with your weight loss, I'm right there with you.

@FrauNeuer congrats! Lots of sticky vibes your way 🤞🏻

Yay Frau - though don't envy your TWW; hope you find ways to distract yourself

@geeup really hope the further investigations help - wishing you all the very best if we don't hear from you, take care xxx

babi I've only had the internal ultrasound so far; was uncomfortable but not too painful - but know there seems to be quite a range in terms discomfort,

Congrats on PUPO @Frau!

Thanks @roule and @quiet!

I hope everyone is feeling well today?

@Babi, internal scans don’t hurt me at all, just a tiny bit uncomfortable when they move it from side to side. There were a couple of occasions where the nurse was a bit pokey-happy and I’ve asked them to tone it down a bit. What I should’ve said was “Can you calm down a bit with your rummaging, there isn’t a Next sale in there!”. Should start a list of things to say when the ultrasound person is being a bit lively with the all-seeing wand... anyway, I have learned to fully relax into it so it’s not bad and also a very empty bladder. Or maybe it’s because I’ve got a cavern for a vagina. Either way, it’s slightly uncomfortable!

Update from me:

I felt absolutely awful Saturday morning and by the time we got to the apartment in Czech Inwas shivering and got in a bath full of warm water and stayed in there for an hour, topping up the water to keep it warm. I honestly thought I would have to cancel it all as I was feeling so shit. Loads of sleep and woke up Sunday morning feeling much better. All that’s wrong with me now is a stupid blocked nose and a tickly cough which is driving me mad!

Scan on Sunday went well, 5 follies on the right and 11 on the left, took my trigger shot at 11pm last night and EC is a go for tomorrow. The bottom half of my stomach is currently very round and sitting or lying down is a tad uncomfortable. I found that getting on all fours and doing some gentle cat and cow yoga poses eases it a bit! Currently feeling quite relaxed and positive, and also right chuffed that I have no more injections to do. Roll on tomorrow, let’s get this done!

Thanks all mine was quite rough. I was expecting slight discomfort not being prodded and made sore.

antonia hope all goes well tomorrow.

Thanks guys. Wow this wait is tough! Is it normal to go from excited anticipation to absolute desolation, on average, every 15 minutes.

Anyway, just a quick note to wish antonia the very best for egg collection tomorrow!

Evening all

Frau- fingers crossed for you....the wait sounds tough! I'd be on permanent knicker watch....

Antonia- good luck for tomorrow & hope you're on the mend!

Babipot- sorry to hear the scan was painful; hopefully they will be able to glean some useful info though?

Quiet- not tooooo long before your scan, unless you have to move it?

geeup- I am a newcomer to the thread, but thank you for making me feel welcome & I hope you get some answers re: immunes. It seems private clinics are keener on this approach, and I thought this article was interesting: www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2016/nov/12/can-mayonnaise-cure-infertility

Rang up to find out out about NHS urology referral today- was told not to request this as it would hold up our ICSI referral (not sure why), that it wouldn't make no difference to treatment approach and 'miracles can happen'. FFS!! My response: 'Yes, I realise that miracles can happen, but my husbands SA results indicate that the chances of natural conception are very unlikely'. Silence on the other end of the phone. Twats.

@Antonia79 best of luck tomorrow-!!

@roule I'm so glad you shut them down! I had a rather unpleasant interaction with a doc today but I just awkwardly tried to change the subject 😅 Did you get any answers as to why you shouldn't pursue the urology referral?

'Miracles can happen', roule????? Not fucking often enough, thanks v much. Glad you pointed out the obvious to them.

AF here, so extra pissy...rearranged scan for a better date and realised it'd a HyCoSy rather than HSG - think that's meant to be more thorough, so hopefully a good thing.

Hope you're doing OK Antonia and Frau! xx

Thanks all, hope everyone is doing okay today!

EC went well, they managed to collect 21 eggs from me but whether any of them are good quality or not or if any of them have been fertilised, I won’t find out until I call them tomorrow afternoon for an update. The actual procedure was painless as they sent me to sleep (best half an hour of uninterrupted sleep I’ve had in weeks). Last thing I remember was that “Summer of ‘69” by Bryan Adams was playing on the radio. Woke up fine and they gave me some watered down sugar free fruit cordial to drink and a delicious big soft jam donut to eat afterwards.

So all that’s left is for me to start having the vagina tablets (4 in the morning/4 in the evening) and hope that at least a handful of the eggs are in good nick and I will be able to have a few frozen for another time. If all goes well, ET on Sunday. Fingers crossed!

That sounds like a good haul Antonia! Fingers crossed for fertilisation.

Hope you're doing ok Frau, and that you're managing to find some zen time

Expat- I hope the Dr wasn't to rude to you? They can be such unfeeling bastards.

Quiet- Hope AF isn't giving you too much grief. I don't know much about HyCoSy vs HSG but I think you're right in that it's more detailed and they go in and have a look around, rather than it being just an X-ray.

I was raging about the miracle comment- although definitely agree it would be nice to have a few going around Just made me think about Mary and her immaculate conception- yep, she's got more fucking chance than me atm!
I am fed up of the patronising bullshit that gets trotted out by clinicians who should, quite frankly, know better. Making it my mission to call them out and make them squirm!

OH is panicking about the cost of seeing Dr R, hence also looking into NHS urology options. It was the NHS F.C. I spoke to and they are not interested in why OH has MFI, and therefore unwilling to endorse a referral to Urology. OH has just had SA's- no further investigations, not even a blood test! It's possible he might have a hormone imbalance, or an infection etc etc. So, we are going to the GP on Friday to see if she can refer us. We also have another F.C. appt next week. This is a fuck up on their part I think, as our next appt isn't supposed to be until March, but we're going to go anyway and give them hell

That does sound like a good haul @Antonia79 -!! No wonder you were uncomfortable 😂

@roule not rude really, just a bit pitying and went on and on about different ways to relax and how often they refer women to F.C. but by the time they get to their appt they're pregnant! 🙄 They really should know better.. I'm just glad I'll never see her again and that my regular gp isn't chatty.

I'm amazed they wouldn't want to find out the cause.. seems like the less invasive/expensive tests would be at the top of their list. I hope your gp can get you sorted!

Ladies - apologies I have been AWOL!

@geeup I am really sorry to hear about your BFN. This crap is soul destroying.
I don't understand why your FC is not doing immune testing?
I completely get testing early - I fond it helps me come to terms with it too

@physicskate I hope your family is ok? i have a friend stuck out there too.

@Babipotjam Good to hear scan went well.
Scan discomfort varies quite dramatically I find. The nurse who scans me at IVI in London is ever so gentle.
Best of luck with weightloss drive! I am right there with you 😬

@Dia12 Welcome!!!
Please explain what happened on day 12? This is very intriguing!!! 🧐

@roule shame about Legoland but yay to having an appt with the legendary Dr Ramsay - worth the money and legoland sacrifice
Cannot believe your convo with the NHS!!!!

@FrauNeuer yay to ET and 2 Frosties also!!! Ah yes the joy of the 2WW...

@Antonia79 well done on EC!!! I am extremely jealous of the jam doughnut!!!!

I had my FET on Monday - all went well, flew back yesterday and am of course symptom spotting like mad!!!
Boobage is of course sore due to progesterone.

Wishing everyone lots of luck and my bestest wishes!

@kwick congrats on being PUPO. Really excited for you. Have you done any immunes testing? My clinic is very conservative and thinks it's all rubbish and not scientifically proven which may be right but I'm desperate. It worked for my friend so I'm open to trying it if it doesn't bankrupt us please god let me get a bonus this year.
Am trying to look at the positives of the situation (clutching at straws). I have come up with:
I can be involved with the DIY we're doing on our house - if I was pregnant I couldn't do any lifting etc and this way it should be all finished before the fantasy baby is here
I can go for a promotion later in the year - if I was visibly pregnant, I bet they'd find a reason to pick someone else or delay the pay increase
I can get back to exercising as have put on so much weight during the ivf etc - did my first training session last night and it felt positive
So there we have it. Reasons to be cheerful, 1, 2, 3!

Hi guys, hope you’re all well.

geeup sounds like your doing the right thing by concentrating on all the positives we have to live for - that’s all any of us can really do whilst stuck in a situation we’d rather not be in. But as with all things, nothing lasts forever, things always get easier. I have to keep reminding myself of this!

FrauNeuer well done on the good news about blast transfer. Got all fingers and toes crossed for you.

Antonia79 wow @ egg collection. That all sounds very promising, hope that’s all going well for you.

Roule I feel your frustration with the NHS, our initial checks with them left us frustrated too. DH had low semen parameters but no further checks were done. We ended up doing our research and had a private MRI scan which showed a varicocele and treated this with embolisation very quickly. NHS consultant doesn’t consider this as significant and so wouldn’t have investigated this at all. I think having embolisation + ICSI improves our chances of success as opposed to ICSI alone.
Anyway, as it stands, there just aren’t any studies to support this.

QuietTime ah nothing special about 12 - just my birthday on 12/12

I’m waiting on my next period before the clinc can set a date to start the meds. Have a month to get serious about getting fit....I’m not working at the moment so have all the time in the world but seem to somehow find other things to occupy myself with! Annoyed with myself!

Hi ladies,

I know I’m very late into you group but any chance I could join? This is only the second time I’ve ever posted so please be kind! To cut a long story short, I’m currently on a short protocol for ICSI currently on day 7 after starting Gonal F with orgalutran added on Mon. What I’ve noticed is everyone else on the forum seems to be getting more details as to what’s going on- number of follicles, size etc. I’ve been for a few scans and blood tests and all I get told is drop dose/ keep dose the same, come in for scan/ bloods etc on X date. I guess in one way, I’m not so stressed about the situation as I have no idea what’s going on but am I getting a bit too little information from the clinic? Also I’m getting pretty much no side effects, is this normal? My Gonal F dose is 125IU (dropped from 150 on Mon), im afraid I have no idea if this is a particularly high or low dose! Sorry if these questions sound silly, this is my first cycle and I don’t know anyone who has had IVF before so at a bit of a loss what to make of it all..

Don't worry - no such thing as a silly question!! I didn't take the same drugs so not sure about if that's high or low but did you ask them about follicles etc? You have every right to ask. Just say "can you please talk me through how things are going? How many follicles on each side, are you pleased with how it's progressing etc". Good luck. I'm sure it's going great.