Thread 33 | TTC1 | From warm wombles to needles and exploding boobs - we've got it covered. Join us - we love to talk!

[Jamon]

Join me TTC1ers xx

Hi folks and thanks again for the best wishes.

Pretty uneventful here aside from me losing the plot at regular intervals. I never did receive any help or counselling after my mcs and think I’m reaping the consequences of this now. I spend hours every day googling things, I wake up in the middle of the night convinced that I’ve mc’d again and I’m generally just a mess of anxiety. Off to the doctors next week to see if there’s anything he’d suggest, but it’s probably just a case of hanging on until next scan, which seems like a lifetime away.

How did you get on at the doctors today roule?

Hope everyone’s doing well.

It’s happened. I’ve cracked and turned into a complete and utter PSYCHO.

Yet another family/friend sharing their wonderful news of pregnancy, immediately followed by “prayers for me too” (all on whatsapp).
My logical brain recognised this is a totally innocuous comment and in any other situation, I wouldn’t have thought twice but after congratulating her I switched off my phone and had a meltdown and unleashed all of my months of frustration and pain on my poor husband.

I think I’ve said things i shouldn’t have and they are now out there and I’m disappointed in myself for hurting my husband who is also going through the same emotional journey.

Frau & Dia, I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been having such a difficult time. Everything about infertility takes such a huge toll emotionally and physically. I just want to let you know you are not alone in how you feel. Frau I hope that the pregnancy continues to go well and you find yourself able to enjoy it at some stage.

My beta levels went up for a week but the clinic were not hopeful and stopped my meds. I started bleeding a few days ago so I know it’s over. Was pretty upset before but doing better now. No one knew what to say to me including GP and even DH. Unless you’ve actually been through it personally, I don’t think others truly understand what you are experiencing. I have final (I hope) beta tomorrow and today I unexpectedly got an email from clinic with a drs f/up appt on Thurs. I think this has to be a record in speed for a NHS clinic!

I hope everyone else is doing ok. This is probably going to sound silly but I’ve just ordered an aromatherapy diffuser and some relaxing music to try take my mind off things that I can’t control. X

Evening all

Frau- sorry to hear about the anxiety. It's shit- and totally understandable. Hope it's been a bit easier over the weekend if poss.

Dia- Fucking baby bombs! It's ok to feel anger- hopefully your DP understands that. Infertility tests every relationship.

Tiger

Unfortunately my appt did not go well. I have elevated FSH for my age. Not sure we are even going to be eligible for NHS IVF/ICSI treatment now. I am worried this is it for us. Have spent the whole weekend in tears. Next F.C. appt isn't till the end of March. I might have to take a MN break for my own sanity.

If I don't return- good luck all

Thank you Tiger and Roule. It does sound like everyone’s having a challenging time.

Tiger - I hope the aromatherapy helps you to relax, the little things can make all the difference. Hope the follow up goes well and they can give you guidance on the next steps to take.

Roule - I’m sorry to hear about your situation, it’s just crippling having to wait so long between appointments. I hope you are able to take some time for yourself and find some inner peace somehow.

Hope everyone else is doing well. xx

@roule I'm so sorry to hear this, I hope it's not the end for you and the time passes quickly between now and your appt. 💐

@Tigerlily99 not silly at all, anything that can make you feel even the slightest bit better is such a worthwhile investment in this utterly shit situation. x

As for me, the witch got me just after the hospital closed on Friday 🙄 but I called just now and there's an appt open next Monday so I'll be getting "power washed" then as my gf calls HSGs 😂

Oh and @Dia12 I meant to say, you are SO not alone! Hubby and I sometimes go for long drives where we just bitch about how "unfair" it all is. I'm sure he didn't take anything personally, we've all lashed out when we were hurt. xx

Roule- I’m sorry to hear about your results. I hope all goes well, my understanding was that FSH can go up and down so I hope that’s the case for you.

Expat- Hope HSG goes well!

Unfortunately my saga is still ongoing. Had beta on Mon and it had gone up substantially despite having good going AF last week. I’ve been in hospital every day this week and scanned x4 now. There is no sign of a viable pregnancy and I’m now under monitoring for suspected ectopic. I thought the early miscarriage was bad but this is so much worse!

Hello everyone, how are you all?

This will probably be the last update from me for now but will still be about to offer support for anyone who needs it

All symptoms disappeared beginning of last week and I was almost sure that meant it was over. I kept it to myself, didn’t mention it to DH. Saturday morning was scan day. I wasn’t too hopeful but kept it to myself. Opted for the internal scan as that would be a lot clearer than the abdominal scan at this point. There it was. It was there on the screen, this thing that looked as if it was made of tiny bumps attached to a yolk sac. She made me jumped when she turned the sound on and I heard the fastest, thumpiest heartbeat. She pointed at the screen, showing me that the little, fast, flickering bit was the heart. I am 7w & 5d today. I know I’m not out of the woods yet, I know anything can happen that will end it all so I am doing all I can to keep my sensible head on but folks, I heard a heartbeat. I’ve never been this far down this path and it’s bloody terrifying/exciting.

Tigerlily I'm really sorry to hear about your suspected ectopic pregnancy. If you need accurate information or support on ectopic pregnancy, can I suggest you look at the website for the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust. The support they can provide you with is invaluable.

My heart goes out to you @Tigerlily99 I hope you're taking care of yourself as best you can x

HSG didn't go great tbh She pushed 3 lots of contrast and it was incredibly painful. Right side is great but left is completely blocked. I'm on two courses of antibiotics for the next 14 days and hopefully by the end I'll have heard from FC to see what next steps are. Feeling very sorry for myself. I hope others have better news to share x

Wow it's gone quiet around here. Hope everyone's ok!!!

We showed up to our F.C. appt on the 12th. Turns out they'd moved the appointment and not told us (for the second time out of 4 appointments). So it's now on the 26th. Currently waiting for ov on 6th and final clomid cycle...

@physicskate how rude of them to not contact you! As if you've not got anything better to do 🙄

My follow up appointment is on the 28th, it's been a hellish month between the hsg, the antibiotics, and all the waiting. Hopes are low for this month too as I think I'm ov on the blocked side. 👍🏻

I was thinking of you Monday @physicskate 💐

Afm, FC says to try for four months and come back to start IVF referral if nothing happens. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Not what I was hoping to hear, but about what I expected.

So looks like I'm doing short protocol in either 7 or 12ish weeks!! Plus I said I was worried about how clomid may have grown my fibroid over the last five cycles and he said no problem - we'll scan you Thursday!! We ended up having quite a long appointment and he agreed to run my tsh again. It ended up being a weirdly positive appointment. I'm still expecting the rug to be pulled from under my feet.

But oddly the best news was I scored better than 99% of people on the civil service numeracy test!! Go me!! It's the first time I've thought, 'wow I'm good at something' in a very very long time...

@physicskate aw that's brilliant! I'm glad you got some good news!! I know this thread is a bit ghostly atm but do keep me/us updated!

Also way to go on your test 🎉

It’s very quiet on here now! Just thought I’d pop in as I’ve finally tested negative 6 weeks after methotrexate for an ectopic.

Physicskate- great news from the clinic! Maybe we will be cycling/ on 2WW around same time. I’m having the next FET in June.

Hope everyone else is doing well. X

Hi all, not sure if anyone remembers me as i haven't been on for probably 6 months + Now and it seems the thread is very quiet?
Hope everyone is doing ok.

So had a rough couple of months after i had been referred for ovulation induction with injectibles. First cycle was abandoned end of feb as grew a rather large cyst on right ovary so had to take a break. Thankfully got the go ahead middle of this month to start again (on lower dose of menopur).

Been having regular scans and have follicle on left ovary measuring 19.2mm today so been given go ahead to trigger tonight with ovitrelle.

I'm a mixed bag of emotions right now. Trying to keep calm.

Hi all just wanted to stick my head round the door and say hello.

Had first appointment with consultant last week to discuss test results.

It was hell. His manor was awful but the news wasn’t good .

All my tests were fine ( except my weight). The consultant actually said I was very fat. This was just after he had said all the news.

DH results not so good so he has more tests in 3 months.

pug good to see you x Sorry you're having a shit time. By the sounds of it a lot of us are. How are things now?

Anyone heard from @jamon ?

Kwick I'm thinking of you.

I got a letter through the post today with a script for Clomid! After 2.5 years they've finally figured out what I knew from the start- I'm not ovulating!
Dreading getting my hopes up again. Dreading DH not being able to DTD. Dreading dredging this all up again. Urgh.

Negative Nancy right here!

Hi girls, not really using Mumsnet these days but hope you’re all doing well xxx
Our nhs ivf cycle unfortunately ended in bfn so we’re just starting our second cycle with a private clinic. Not ideal but hopefully we will get there somehow!
Lots of love and happy bank holidays to you all xxx

Thanks @AliceScarlett (yes this is I)

I am 21 weeks - Kwicklet is doing well - although I am anxious a lot of the time.

Wishing everyone all the best - took me 11 tries.... 🤞🏼 this is the one

So good to hear from both of you xx

Kwick I'm so excited for you.

Jem

Thanks @alicescarlett very best of luck with the clomid xx

Hey @Pugmummy87, good to hear from you but sorry to see you're still TTC too. How did your cycle go? Hope you're well xx

Hi @Babipotjam / miw. So sorry the consultant was so rude! Good luck with everything.

Good luck with the Clomid @AliceScarlett 🤞

Afm - I'm starting private ICSI in June/July with Care Fertility. Excited to get started after so many delays!