Multiple failures, a place to chat

[Zippybear]

Anyone else out there with multiple failures wondering what to do next? We've just had our fourth embryo transfer fail. Issues on both sides. In the last year I've had two surgeries, dh has had one and we are still no further forward. We haven't had a holiday that wasn't time off for ivf since 2015. We feel battered and bruised and stuck on a hellish infertility rollercoaster that we can't get off unless we want to accept childlessness we have another nhs cycle but I'm not sure I can cope with it (or if there is any point). I don't know whether to give up, think of donor, adoption or just accept our lot. Anyone else wondering the same?

I've just had a rant on the waiting room thread. It's bloody selfish. I realise occasionally it may be essential to bring children in an emergency, but I think a lot people bring their children because it's easier for them personally and they consider their convenience more important than the feelings of a bunch of barren strangers.

Don't know what the hell the secondary infertiles issue is with the word barren. They're not barren-they've already had a child, we are the barren ones and I don't see what's wrong with referring to ourselves as such.

Turncoat barren can I add Gold turncoat barren. As per turncoat barren but managed this despite only one, two or three eggs being collected. Cue as per turncoat barren but with the added "it only takes the one egg".

Oh yes the gold turncoat barren, providing pointless hope to all those for whom it would have taken a fuckload more than one egg

Just delurking to say I LOVE the barren classification system. Can I add Barren von Munchausen [sic] - someone who didn't get their bfp the first month trying and is now all over every fertility board convincing themselves they're suffering from every fertility-impairing condition proper barrens describe and demanding sympathy.

Hello bipp!!!!! I think about you lots and hope all is going well

Thanks! Standing in solidarity with you all through the smug twattery of Mother's Day & wishing everyone plenty of or or crack or whatever it takes to make it through without resorting to violence.

Delurking to salute the barren army. Love the classification and have had to ban myself from commenting on the waiting room thread!

You women rock so hard - salutes all the barren army 💪💪💪

I'm currently in bed and eating a double chocolate muffin for breakfast by way of protest #cleaneating #winning #blessed

(oh and being a keyboard warrior against fuckwit arseholes on the waiting rooms thread. I'm gonna step away before I have a coronary 😡)

The inyourface exbarren. Never experienced the hell of actually reaching the end of the line but thinks they know how it feels and sees nothing wrong with shoving their motherhood/children/rights in your barren face

They also do an inyourface Mother's Day special variety

Just to add you are all utterly fabulous strong women. Ignore the insensitive people and keep on.

Hi all, I was the OP in the waiting area thread. I apologise if it caused hurt or anger for anyone, as that wasn't my intention. As mentioned in that post, I was honestly quite surprised that anyone would bring a small child to an inferitlity (and infertility-ONLY) clinic and be so inconsiderate as to ignore the child and ignore the uncomfortable reactions of other patients in the area...but my DH didn't seem to fussed about it, which was what prompted me to ask here. I was quite disappointed and surprised by the meanness of some of the posters who replied...sorry if it has caused anyone hurt on this already shit journey.

meadow please don't apologise! We are all in agreement with you. I don't have a problem with those who politely disagree with the POV. I do have a massive problem with self indulgent arseholes who seem to lack an ounce of sensitivity and want to make it all about how their needs as mothers aren't being respected

The hurt comes from them - not you! Wishing you all the best with your treatment - in the nicest way hope that you don't ever join this thread, as you will be successful in your journey (and then won't be a selfish fuck nugget when you do!) xx

Ah yes Zippy the inyourface exbarren Mother's Day Special edition whose Instagram posts end with #ivfsuccess #soblessed #proudmumma #dontgiveup #motherday2017

I was shopping at Wholefoods this morning with DSC and the woman at the counter said "oh! Mums get a free coffee today for Mother's Day". Gave her a bitter stare before walking away with a cappuccino.

Apart from my free coffee today is otherwise pretty shit. Might go visit my son's grave and just have a big old cry. #winning #lovemylife #bestyearyet

Hi Bip!!!** 👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼

I can't bring myself to comment on the waiting room thread. It is amazing how short some people's memories are....
I also hate that the receptionist, consultant and embryologist have all been heavily pregnant at my clinic in the last year. Including the one who confirmed my miscarriage, meaning a failed third cycle. Actually fuck off. I know they can't help it, and It is surely not much fun for them, but it is just more salt rubbed directly into gaping wounds.

Ps coming off facebook is the best thing I ever did. Do it ladies, no more smug Mother's Day shite. #blessed #fuckoffandstoppretendingyourlifeisperfect

Oooh loving being an honourary barren, thanks biggerboat

PS you can tell by the fact we're all lurking here that you ladies are the only people who speak any sense on the whole infertility board.

Dudes, I love the barren classification. Gave me a good laugh. I think you've covered a wide range. I have also come across Professor Know-it-all Barren. The one who pronounces on everyone else's treatment and seems to always know better than the doctors, making others doubt themselves and their choices.

Fist bumps of solidarity to bip and potatoes. Good to see you round these parts!

I thought the waiting room thread just showed how many people there are that a) don't get how hard this shit is and b) do not give a flying fuck about others generally! Must pop over to check out the latest.

Hope everyone has survived today!!

Don't look at that thread again it really is fucking upsetting.

Haw haw. Recently someone said to me that they had had "a great struggle" conceiving. It took two months. Good job I did not have a weapon at close hand.

Also reminds me of when a boss I once had in a bonding moment told me she was a recovering alcoholic. I put on a sympathetic expression, which slid down my face when she went on to say, "I was drinking a glass of wine every night "

PS you can tell by the fact we're all lurking here that you ladies are the only people who speak any sense on the whole infertility board

Loving the Barren Classification System!