The mind numbing boredom of infertility IV

[PotatoesPastaAndBread]

Yes it's the return of the thread where we're so fucking bored of being infertile and talking about infertility and thinking about infertility and worrying and infertility and learning about infertility treatment and explaining infertility to other people and making up lies to cover up for going for infertility tests and treatment that we can't even be bothered to think of a better name for the thread.

Join us if you are barren, bored and bitter, or any combination of the above. We'll listen to your tails of woe when everyone you've ever met upduffs in an instant, accompany you through the trials of tests and treatment and commiserate the inevitable setbacks and disappointments.

Welcome to the ghetto.

When I can work out links, I'll post linnks to threads 1, 2 and 3

Sleep and IVF don't go too well together! Let us know what they come back with, but in the meantime try to remember that 'perfect' is about the best you can hope for, and you've got 2 of them on-board! My friend had the same, and now has 6 year old twin girls! When you've recovered I'd love to hear more about the clinic. We've got a phone consultation with Penny tonight

Good luck with your call - Penny really is lovely! I will send you a message over the weekend with some more info about Serum but we have been very impressed.

Talking of Penny she has just put my mind at rest. I think I made up the '1' she explained they are both AA (and she used the words 'perfect' and 'best' again) phew :)

Yay! Time to put your feet up, relax and get some rest before the two week wait madness begins!

Congratulations on being PUPO with your perfect embies Closephine!

Good luck with Serum Fuzzy. I met the most adorable donor egg baby today - everyone was saying how much she looked like her mum, it was startling. Coincidentally I had met her husband before at an infertility support group, I thought her story was heartbreaking but also really familiar and then we figured out the connection. Hope you don't mind me sharing that with you.

Tammy that's really tough, I'm sorry that the down regging is having such an impact but also the imminent new baby. Echo staying away until you are stronger.

I'm so glad Fuzzy that the lesion on your foot was benign and Closephine - what great results. It sounds very promising.

An update - I started my first ivf cycle just over 2 weeks ago and it's been a bit of a roller-coaster. On Friday, although my womb lining was perfect, only 1 follicle was really growing to the right size and I was asked to think about cancelling the cycle. I completely broke down - I just wasn't prepared. They discussed that I might not even have an egg inside the follicle and was it worth continuing. However, they gave me an estradiol blood test which showed a raised estradiol level and so I decided that I would like to go ahead. I just thought I might as well see it to the end. On Monday I had my egg collection and the possible 1 became 5 eggs. Two fertilised and I had my egg transfer today. I'm very glad I took the risk and went for it and now am starting my 2ww.

Fourpaws - look after yourself. We here for you when you're ready.

Congrats closephine and joey, hope your 2WW goes smoothly and has a happy ending.

Sounds like we're on the same timeline Joey - did you have both put back?

I've had the day from travelling hell :( instead of being in my bed I'm in a premier inn. I won't go into details but everything that could go wrong, went wrong and it was a hugely stressful day running round airports. I'm so worried it's going to have somehow ruined my chances! It has been the furthest from 'taking it easy' possible. I'm feeling really low and worried :(

I've also been up since 1am!

Hello Closephine, they did put the two fertilised eggs back in. After Friday, where I was having to decide whether to cancel the cycle, the fact I have got this far is a bonus.
I've read so many things about what to and not to do after a transfer. I was advised by the clinic to not have any baths, go swimming or sit in hot tub. Also if I'm a runner, then walk. I've read not to bend over or lift anything above a certain weight (already done both). Try and not worry as I also read, if we were doing this naturally would we be worrying about what we were doing as much. It's hard though as I've never been so conscious of every move I make. I even looked up coughing (I've got a tickly cough) to see if it would affect my chances!

Joey and closephine - I know you already know this but anything you do now (well, save taking hard drugs and a few other things, but even that's not a given) is not going to affect the outcome, especially not coughing or having a stressful day! However, I am not the epitome of rationality myself, having just googled 'peas and conception' because someone mentioned that peas can prevent conception on another thread (I bloody love peas so was happy to see that all the sites mentioning it or referencing it were completely woo and it has no actual scientific evidence behind it, just folklore)

I've read that once the embryo is put back in, it's like putting a grain of sand in a jam sandwich. That's how likely it is to drop out or be dislodged! Having been pregnant to term, I can tell you that NOTHING will dislodge it - even straining so hard with constipation that you end up with piles! (Oh, the glamour of motherhood...!) When I caught with my boy, I was stressed as fuck after an ectopic the month before. I was having full blown panic attacks and getting myself in a right state. He was tucked up safe & sound. If you conceived naturally, at 5 dpo you wouldn't have a clue, so you'd drink, exercise, lift things, have sex, just carry on living your life. The advice given by ivf clinics is all very over-cautious and melodramatic. Don't worry!

Thank you Fuzzy. Lots of good advice there and also Tammy - I bloody love peas too so I'm very glad there's no evidence in that one.

I read the peas thing once too. FFS! I conceived my son on a diet of coffee, chocolate, the occasional ciggie, and probably shit-loads of peas. Where do they get this crap?

I like the grain of sand in a jam sandwich analogy :) makes me feel a little more confident that I may not have dislodged them over the last eventful few days. I'm finally HOME (and thinking I never want to leave again!), sitting on MY couch and I have my dog back. Happy days!

Oh Christ I just made post no. 666, have I jinxed myself?! (Only half joking)

I don't think you've jinxed it, Close, but maybe if you have a son he could be called Damien....? I liked the jam sandwich idea too. It stops me from waddling around with my legs clamped together in the tww!

I don't often post here (sporadically have done since the first thread yonks ago) but I'm a lurker, it's like a comfort blanket when i get (inevitable) bad news or a baby bomb.
Anyway, I'm 33, O.H is 36, ttc for (?) 3.5 years, something is wrong but because I'm overweight (not much, but enough for NHS) I've been told to go away and lose weight and then they'll put me back on the list again... maybe. And that's just for clomid, not for anything else.
Icy (she who began this thread) kindly sent me her supply of clomid and I've done 4 months of it now with nothing working. So I've ordered some more off the internet because fuck it, what's the worst it can do, make me infertile?
Anyway today i heard from an old friend who had not had sex with anyone for 18 months, had a one-night-stand with an ex, went and got the morning after pill and guess what? Still ended up pregnant. She had an abortion and the worst thing about all of it is she didn't want to tell me because of me being upset. She went through that alone because of my fucking infertility. It just makes me so so so sad all the time and cross and bitter. Gaaaaaah.
Anyway, i booked me and dh a few days away in Madrid, one day to sightsee and one day to dip our toe in the water with a couple of appointments at clinics.
Just to see. Because honestly i don't know if i can face the disappointment when it inevitably doesn't work.
Sorry and thanks for listening. Hope everyone's ok and flinging glittery shit about.

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time InThis - dipping your toe in whilst having a break at the same time sounds like a good idea. I had something similar with one of my best friends, found out she was pregnant and I struggled to cope, she then miscarried and I felt like utter shit for not having been able to support her in the first place.

MrFuzzy - um yeah... perhaps :) although if I get a baby out of it I'll name him anything!

I now have a stomach bug on top of everything else. Thankfully it seems like it was just a 24 hour thing but seriously, don't seem to be getting any let up here! At least I'm not going to be surprised when this doesn't work I guess...

I know there's not much traffic on here lately, but like InThis, I think I just need to get it out.

I'm 6dp5dt and I just know in my gut it hasn't worked. It has been such an awful week with the travel problems and sickness, I have zero symptoms and to top it off my pre AF insomnia has arrived right on cue. I have hardly eaten for the last 3 days which isn't exactly creating a nourishing environment for a baby. When I was pregnant with my son I had AF type cramps in the run up to my positive test and so I know that without those I'm out. I just feel so low right now, which has surprised me as I never expected this to work, but I did expect to be able to give myself a fighting chance and things actually seemed to go quite well up until ET. We have one chance at a FET and then that's it. I'm not strong enough for multiple rounds. I just wish I knew of a way to get off the ttc conveyor belt!

Don't give up yet close. Insomnia was my only symptom before a bfp. Every time I've had a bfp it's been a shock and I've never actually thought I was pregnant before testing. It doesn't fit with our idea of how it should be, being ill and stressful travel, but there's no evidence that this would stop a cycle working. Wishing you luck. When will you test?

I'm so sorry you're feeling down, Close. But as Tiger says, don't give up yet. I know my last cycle was a bust, but I was complaining about my zero symptoms to a friend who is now at 11w through a FET. She said that a medicated cycle feels totally different to a natural cycle (she'd previously had sev mcs & an early induced labour due to baby being unviable). She's also a midwife so I do take her advice on board. She explained that your body is being given pregnancy hormones artificially so you're not getting the surges and gradual increases that you would in natural conception. Other than a bit of boob pain, she felt nothing. On natural cycles, both BFP & BFN, she'd had more symptoms. Also to echo what Tiger said - your travel nightmare & bug won't have made any difference. Your womb, and the embies floating around in it, will have had no idea what was going on.

Thanks for the advice ladies, it's just this proper GUT feeling that there's nothing going on in there! But we will see.

I can't quite decide when to test. I thought about tomorrow 7dpt but then if it's negative I might still allow myself to hope it's too early, whereas if I hold out until Friday at 9dpt then at least it's pretty conclusive. Plus I have an important meeting on Thursday afternoon, if I've had a negative before that, I might struggle to concentrate. When does everyone else normally test?!

I think I tested on 8dpt using a superdrug early test and the line was so faint I thought the test was negative originally. 9dpt is the OTD for some clinics, so a good bet I would say.

Thanks Tiger, will see if I can stick it out until Friday! I seem to be quite good at resisting poas these days.

Sorry for such negativity too - it felt quite cathartic to get it out. Everyone in real life just expects ivf to work and I don't really have anyone to talk to properly about how I'm feeling.