The mind numbing boredom of infertility IV

[PotatoesPastaAndBread]

Yes it's the return of the thread where we're so fucking bored of being infertile and talking about infertility and thinking about infertility and worrying and infertility and learning about infertility treatment and explaining infertility to other people and making up lies to cover up for going for infertility tests and treatment that we can't even be bothered to think of a better name for the thread.

Join us if you are barren, bored and bitter, or any combination of the above. We'll listen to your tails of woe when everyone you've ever met upduffs in an instant, accompany you through the trials of tests and treatment and commiserate the inevitable setbacks and disappointments.

Welcome to the ghetto.

When I can work out links, I'll post linnks to threads 1, 2 and 3

Why does everyone think IVF is 'exciting'?! Am I weird in that I don't find it exciting in the slightest? The complete opposite really. I guess they just use the word to fill a gap... but there must be a better way of describing it. I literally bristle every time someone says it to me!

Not exciting at all, Closephine, unless you get excited about medical procedures, injections and endless dildocams. It's throughly dull until egg retrieval, and then it's daily anxiety waiting for the embryo updates. The two week wait is no more or less shit than any other, except there's a lot of money riding on it and you're pumped full of artificial hormones. Getting knocked up the old fashioned way is far more exciting. If only, eh?

Hi there, hope everyone is keeping buggering on? We have just started 23 days of down reg stabbing. Roll on March!

Good luck PeaOp.

How's everyone else doing? xx

Hi all! I've had very good news - the lesion on my foot was benign. The surgeon who said it definitely wasn't a haematoma was wrong - thank god!

So we've been emailing Serum in Athens & got the ball rolling. Given my history of ectopic, recurrent mc & D&C, they want me to go over for tests before starting treatment.

I'm very wary of saying 'yes' to add-ons. I felt like the consultant at Care was more like a used car salesman than a doctor, and we ended up paying for things we didn't need & didn't help, out of sheer desperation. This time I'm being more wary.

Serum have suggested hidden infection testing & an aquascan to look for adhesions, polyps or D&C scarring in my womb before they implant. It seems legit and probably a good idea, but I'd welcome any opinions from your good selves.

Good news on the lesion fuzzy

Fab news fuzzy

Fuzzy - what a relief so pleased. Onwards and upwards!
Banana - what a relief for you also - what a saga - so pleased you can get on track now.
Here's to a nice weekend 🌼

MrFuzzy that's amazing news, so pleased for you!! I can send you a private message when I return from Athens with some detailed feedback on serum if you would like it? So far, so good though :)

Just had my egg collection - 14 eggs collected so now just the dreaded wait until tomorrow to see if any fertilise. Unfortunately DH had the DNA fragmentation test done and it has come back as high. Which means even if we do get a successful pregnancy, our chance of miscarriage before 9 weeks is higher than normal. We decided to just go with DH's sperm though (had been thinking about trying half with a donor) and I guess if this doesn't work out, we may look at embryo adoption as I don't think I want to go through all the injections etc again. Plus I weirdly think I'd feel more comfortable if a potential baby is genetically neither of ours rather than just mine. Does that make sense?! I think it may be better for DH too as it feels like level ground...

9 fertilised today, next update Monday - anyone out there? :)

closephine Good news on the numbers - I had same amount of eggs and fertilised eggs! The fragmentation test is interesting as you had good fertilisation. I have read that high or low rates of fragmentation lead to all different outcomes so we didn't have it. I think i understand what you mean about donated rather than half your DNA and none of dh. Its a tough one. But hey this might be your cycle. Its such a stressful wait. Here's to Monday. X

That's great Closephine!! 9 is a fantastic crop. Fx for lots of blasts in there. I do understand what you mean about donor embryos. I would be inclined to adopt than ever do IVF + high risk pregnancy again, that combination is just too much for me.

Fuzzy great news for you too about the lesion. Good luck with the investigations at Serum.

Thanks Sara - the DNA fragmentation test is only €100 at Serum so we figured we may as well find out. They used IMSI and also are trialling a technique to try and select out the ones that have better fragmentation (I'll be honest, although their English is all excellent, there is still a bit of a barrier and I didn't fully understand what they said they were going to do). I guess we will know s bit more about how it's all gone by Monday - never appreciated quite how nerve wracking it really is! Although some family and some friends know where we are, I can't bring myself to discuss any of the details with them so getting it out on here instead :)

Cross post there! Thanks Blue - I think I'm just trying to plan ahead, have another option in place in case (when) this goes tits up!

Hello all, still here, and reading and thinking of you all. Had a step back as really not doing so well. Those of you who remember the awful family baby bomb in june, baby arrived. That's good, all is fine but it knocked me for six. Doctor has finally given me something to help me sleep and I'm still not sleeping but I appreciate this is not a mental health thread.

Thinking of you all and

Great news closephine

Fuzzy I'm sorry you are struggling.

And still here. Surgery weds and then I guess we see where we go next.

Fourpaws sorry that you're going through that, look after yourself

Bean good luck with the surgery.

Sorry you're feeling so low Fourpaws Keep sharing. We all understand being in the fallout of a baby-bomb.

I'd really appreciate your feedback Closephine, and I'm so glad you've got a bumper crop! Out of 15 I only managed 5, so 9 is wonderful! All the best for your call tomorrow. Are they going to 5 days? I know what you mean about embryo adoption, and I would probably prefer to go straight for that option, but DH is resistant as he still wants to try for his own biological child with donor eggs. Like you, I feel the ground would be more even if it was neither of us in the mix, but I've had a lot longer to come to terms with the thought of donor eggs. He has agreed to the fragmentation test, and going for embryo adoption if a donor cycle doesn't work. Anyway, keep us posted x

Good luck Bean x

Close 9/15 is good. Hopefully you will have a good 4 or 5 by day 5

Sorry to hear you're not coping too well Fourpaws - it might not be a mental health thread, but it is the infertility that causes the problem so don't feel you need to take a step back if you do want to talk.

Bean - best of luck for Wednesday.

we just popped back to clinic for an update - 8 still going, all grade 1 - she said 5 are excellent and the other 3, still grade 1 but not so many cells. Transfer booked for Wednesday, I think they want us to put 2 back due to the high DNA fragmentation in DH's sample.

closephine> Looking good so far! Hope it continues in that vein for you.

bean> good luck tomorrow!

fourpaws> I know exactly where you are coming from re: mental health. So if you want to vent, and it helps, then please do so. This is about all aspects of infertility and mental heath is completely intertwined with it.

I'm going through troubles of my own in that regard, partly due to the down-regging which is affecting me way more than it did last time (headaches, mood swings etc) and partly because of imminent arrival of DH's niece/nephew. I know I'm not one of those people who feel better once the baby arrives. I will feel 100% worse, especially if our (most likely) final cycle has just failed too. Just the though of seeing DH holding a baby is making me cry (literally crying just typing that). So far I've managed to avoid all of DH's friends babies (he's a bit younger than me so just now going through the stage when all his friends suddenly have babies without even trying), but this one will be impossible to avoid forever. In a way, I'm lucky that they live abroad (in same country as DH's parents) but in another way it means when we go there is no escape, no place to hide or to go home if things get too much - it will be 24/7 baby.

2 x Grade 1AA blastocysts onboard so the waiting game begins! 2 more frozen. The rest didn't make it. I feel like if neither of them stick then there has to be something wrong with my uterus and not just a problem with DHs sperm.

Tammy, I'm sorry you're struggling :( is it a long trip to see them? Is there any chance you can send DH by himself until you're feeling stronger? I'm learning to allow myself to be selfish when I need to be.

DH had just said she didn't say grade 1, I've added that in myself and now in a muddle as grade 1 doesn't look that great? She said AA but not sure what number... now confused! Ugh, she used the word perfect a few times so going to try not to worry.

Congrats Closephine! Keep us posted! Blasto grading depends on your clinic. At Care they're just numbered 1-3 with 1 being the best. The best I managed last time was a ropey 2-3 which didn't implant. I've read about other grading systems where 1-4 is how developed it is, e.g. 1 is early through to 4 which is expanded. The letters relate to how good the cells look. So 1AA is an early blasto with perfect inner & outer cells. 4AA is a perfect blasto on the brink of hatching. Embryologists are scientists and they are not sentimental about it all, so if she used the word 'perfect' then take it that's what she meant! I'd be thrilled with that!

Thanks Fuzzy - I have emailed them to clarify as I know I'm only going to keep thinking about it! It's been a long few weeks and my brain has gone to mush :) not been sleeping very well, awake from 3am most nights. Hoping that being back in my own bed tomorrow will help!