The mind numbing boredom of infertility IV

[PotatoesPastaAndBread]

Yes it's the return of the thread where we're so fucking bored of being infertile and talking about infertility and thinking about infertility and worrying and infertility and learning about infertility treatment and explaining infertility to other people and making up lies to cover up for going for infertility tests and treatment that we can't even be bothered to think of a better name for the thread.

Join us if you are barren, bored and bitter, or any combination of the above. We'll listen to your tails of woe when everyone you've ever met upduffs in an instant, accompany you through the trials of tests and treatment and commiserate the inevitable setbacks and disappointments.

Welcome to the ghetto.

When I can work out links, I'll post linnks to threads 1, 2 and 3

Hey cooper, welcome. Of course you can join us. I so sorry for you. Yes, it is the shitest and I don't have any answers I'm afraid. I'm not doing so good myself just now, which tends to make me stand back from the thread, because i spill my misery to all, without much knowledge or help.

I have of recent weeks taken aboard some advice of others and started telling people. ThTs up and down. Everyone has a story and a man at the bus stop solution. If anything, it gives you a get out at stuff which is always helpful.

What stage are you at? I'm a bit of a nightmare in that I have had a failed IVF without reaching egg collection after two years of nothingness, followed by a mc of a natural pregnancy which was WTF. Now that's four mcs and one IVF, nothing compared to others. This is a shit place to be in but the ladies on here are amazing and this has been such a source of comfort and advice to me over the many many years.

I am now at the point of meant to be IVF next cycle January but M waiting in mineral tests as I now think miscarriage may be my bigger problem.....

Love and thoughts to all. I have been reading, just don't know what to say and can't find the words.

Fourpaws when are you expecting to hear back from your mineral analysis?

MrFuzzy must be a really tough time of year for you approaching such a difficult anniversary. Thinking of you

Welcome Cooper - sorry you are here, but you're in good company. How long have you been trying if you don't mind me asking? And have you had any treatments so far?

Fourpaws - I found when I started telling people, I quickly worked out who I could continue to talk to about it and who I wished I'd never told! But I'm still glad I opened up, because I've found some real confidants :) I've also worked out who my real friends are and don't have much time for those who have demonstrated they are too selfish/lazy to sympathise. Also, please don't feel you need to step back rather than spill your misery. Spill away (if you want to)!

MrFuzzy - thinking of you also here if you need us x

Another two weeks blue. Took me a while to pluck up the courage to cut my hair. Given the other shit I have been through you would think that should have been easy, but it was not. It was a MASSIVE amount hey needed. Like a heaped table spoon and it all had to be root hair. I found it quite upsetting really. Done now though, thanks to SIL.

How's everybody doing?

I really hate the cutesy fb pregnancy announcements. The kind where they have decided to be all inventive and 'unique'. Ugh I know I'm just bitter and twisted but that's another person deleted. I'll have no one except my gran left on there at this rate!

Hi all
I have been a long term lurking non-poster for a while and thought I'd be better off saying hello rather than peeping through the bushes constantly like a weirdo stalker person.
Here's my back story :
Age 34 been ttc since May 2011 so five and a bit years of this 'wonderful' journey under our belts with two failed IVF cycles (one cp one bfn) under our belts.
Have been reading lots of your stories and I have to say that although many of you have had much, much worse experiences than me I feel like I have found the place that best sums up my feelings on the shit world of infertility.
I'm due to go in next week for a Lap and dye, hysteroscopy and salpingectomy due to a massive hydro on my right tube that was discovered when we went to plan our third ivf cycle. I am weirdly looking forward to it which just highlights how mindnumbingly boring and weird I have become.
Never thought I'd look forward to having part of my anatomy pulled out through my abdomen whilst the world and his wife has a good gadge up my vag!!
But hey ho got to find the excitement amongst the mundane I suppose!!

Nice to 'meet' you all!

Bitter

Hi Bitterbum,
I'd say you've summed it up nicely there! Sorry you find yourself here but it's a helpful place. Know what you mean about looking forward to getting stuff done think it's because it at least creates some momentum when so much of this infertility crap is the lack of any momentum whatsoever ... Sorry for my ignorance, but what's a hydro?

Hi Sara

Hydro = hydrosalpinx - basically a massive sausage shaped tube full of toxic fluid caused by a blockage of some kind.

From what I've read its really toxic to any embryos as well as making the tube conpletely useless.

It's good to find a place to vent and share with no judgement or 'helpful' advice from people that don't really get it!

Hello, I'm fairly sure I killed this, with my shitty dramas.

I'm ok, for anyone still reading. I think I may name change and restart elsewhere. I appreciate being one of the people who fell pregnant naturally after IVF was not in the spirit of what we were about. I'm sorry for that. I still need help and support and hope I have now learned some stuff I can pass on.

To all of you out there, thank you for everything and I wish you every luck in the world.

Glittery shit to all.

Fourpaws I was just thinking of you and your hair test and wondering whether had the results yet! I don't think you killed the thread, I think we were just having a lull. Start again if that's what you want to do, but we're still here for you. I know I'm a relative newbie but I don't remember any rules about natural pregnancies being against the spirit of the thread 🤔 We have the same end goal, but our journeys are different!

Hello Bitter, how did you get on with your procedures this week?

Hi to everyone else!

Hi all, hi Fourpaws. Sorry, I didn't go AFK because of your posts. I don't see why a natural pregnancy would make you unwelcome....??? I had my son in the first month of trying naturally. It's the crap I've had since that has brought me to this group.

I've been away because it was the first anniversary of my son's death last weekend, 5th Nov. I've had a very quiet week away from all the fireworks in a remote cottage in Wales, just me, hubby & the dogs. We needed time to grieve together. Back now, in fighting spirit, ready for starting my hormone priming protocol in December xx

Ach I dunno really. It's just I know we all, me included, get annoyed at the man at the bus stop advice that so and so fell pregnant after failed IVF and that it doesn't really happen. Sorry, maybe it's just me just now. Grumpy and fed up.

No hair test results for another two weeks blue. I will update then. The more I think about it the more I am convinced I have lead poisoning.

Fuzzy I was thinking of you on Saturday and we lit a candle. Our first baby would have been due on fifth November. That first mc seems so long ago now. I'm glad you got away and spent some quality time. We head away next week with the same idea in mind.

It made me sad because dh gave me a cuddle the other day and said these mcs are awful but they do get easier. I suppose I can see what he means in the sense that I know what's coming and that the unknown is no longer an unknown, still bloody awful though.

Thank you Fourpaws.

It's all relative, I suppose. The first pregnancy I lost (ectopic) ripped my heart out. Then I had & lost my son, so the ectopic became a dim memory. The 3 mcs I've had since losing him have just felt sad and frustrating, but I honestly couldn't tell you what my due dates were or the dates of the losses, because they've been overshadowed by the overwhelming grief for my boy. I envy people who have one early mc and feel like it's the most terrible thing that's ever happened to them. I don't begrudge them their pain or diminish it - once upon a time I'd have felt the same. It's just shit what you can get used to when you don't have a choice.

Wish we could have that real life group hug xx

Fourpaws sorry I seem over interested in your results, it's just that you're the only other person I know to do it to.

Fuzzy I know what you mean about it all being relative, I feel that way too.

Me to blue. I really wish we could.

Not at all re results, I promise I will update as soon as they come in, they email them and then call me.

Yes fuzzy, relative is a much better way of describing it. Dh really really struggled with IVF, it really broke him watching me. He is now almost frightened of it, which means I don't know what we do next. All focus is on hair resultsbefore any plans can be made.

Without trawling back through the thread, I can't remember what your story is and what tests you're having Fourpaws. What's the hair test for? Sorry to sound nosy

I'm having egg collection on Monday 😊

Awww that's brilliant blue. Hope all goes smoothly for you.

Fuzzy it's a bit of a weird one, probably just another mad thing to try to get me to focus elsewhere. One of my biggest fears is that despite now having failed IVF, I have never got to the bottom of mcs which I keep having. So even if IVF works, I will probably mc. An unexpected source sent me a link to hair mineral analysis, it costs 95 and they analyse your hair and see what if any minerals and essentials you are missing. This lady I know had it done after several mcs and within two cycles was pregnant and the pregnancy held. Now I know it may not work for everyone but I read all the info and was impressed. They specialise in fertility issues and let's face it, it's a damn sight less than IVF cost wise. So here I am, slightly bald, awaiting my results.

Good luck Blue - hope you do better than I did!!!

That's interesting Fourpaws. I forget - do you have any other children? I was wondering about my mcs being a 'staying pregnant' issue, but I carried my boy with no issues at all. The IVF seems to have confirmed that it's an egg quality issue with me. We doing this last round with my eggs & then going straight to donor.

Good luck everyone. Hoping for some good news soon xxx

fourpaws what is the hair mineral test supposed to tell you? I've not come across it before.

Were all your usual recurrent miscarriage tests normal?

Have you looked into the Coventry endometrial biopsy for recurrent miscarriage?

Just wanted to delurk and say the only reason why I haven't been on is I don't feel that I can really contribute much at the moment. I've never had a wiff of a pregnancy and I'm starting IVF treatment in January so haven't experienced that either. At the moment, I'm just fed up that in my lead up to my first IVF cycle I've not been ovulating so no chance of getting pregnant before. I suppose at least it proves that I do need IVF to help me.
I hope everyone is doing well and good luck blue.

I have no children.we had multiple mcs and then nothing at all. So then got on the IVF roller coaster and got no eggs, then discovered low amh, then fell pregnant naturally, then mc at six weeks. So now I am thinking what's the point in IVF if I'm going to mc anyway.

All investigation tests re mc were clear.

The tests analyse the minerals in your hair and give an indication as to whether you have any abnormal levels of anything or indeed whether you are deficient in any key minerals required for a successful conception and or pregnancy. There is fairly detailed explanations on the website and I found the advisors very helpful. I had fairly horrific lead poisoning about eight years ago. I had assumed that I was now clear but have never actually been tested and am now beginning to wonder.

A solicitor at work (male) upset me in court one day. He's an arse but we had a row about something and I got upset. It was the Monday after IVF failed. He followed me shouting and I ended up telling him to F off and not everything was about him. I said I was having personal issues etc and to pick on me another time. He then sent me an email with the company details saying his wife had been through similar and this worked for them.

I have not got my results yet and as I say it may be another thing that does not work. If anyone would like me to post the link I am happy to do so, unless I am not allowed.

Fourpaws what tests did the RMC run?

Have you been to Coventry? They're the only clinic in the country who do the endometrial biopsy and are leading the the forefront of research into miscarriage, working closely with Tommys. There's a vast swathe of medical data to back up their uNK cells treatment, many women on the mc boards here and on other forums are now finally staying pregnant after getting the right treatment.

Did your RMC run parental karotyping or just thrombophilia and thyroid function?

I'd be very interested to see the link. I'm on a variety of recurrent miscarriage and immunes related forums of women from around the world, and no one has ever mentioned a hair test?!

Thanks banana, I am in Scotland but will have a look at that. Long way away but would be worth it for more detailed examinations. I have just had all the normal basic tests and now had the last mc being analysed by lab but nothing shown as unusual or concerning.

Company I used is called foresight preconception. As I say, I have not had my results yet and am happy to post them when they come back. For me, the toxic analysis is going to be of particular use. At the end of the day I figured for the cost, why the hell not give it a go. But I appreciate it may be not for everyone.

I'm lurking atm. Good news is that hysteroscopy will be done on NHS, probably before Xmas (couldn't find a private place willing to do it for less than £2.7K all in, in case that info is useful to anyone). Bad news is that DH's older brother and wife instadiffed after getting married (it LITERALLY must have been at the wedding) over the summer, and then decided the best time to tell us was on DH's birthday. Fucksake. Luckily they live abroad so we didn't have to hear the news face to face but it has left us both reeling a bit.