The mind numbing boredom of infertility II

[PotatoesPastaAndBread]

This is a thread for peole who really want to get pregnant but can't, who have tried pretty much everything, and are really fucked off about it.

Have you ever nearly punched someone for advising you to "relax", "go on holiday" or "just get drunk - that's what we did"? Well then this is the thread for you.

You won't find much sentimentality here and there's no baby dust, but there is empathy, a lot of swearing and a surpirsing amount of glittery dog shit.

Link to the original thread
original thread

Hi Fiends

Thought I'd leave this here as quite timely, the late great Victoria Wood on pregnancy tests and ovulation predictor kits!

Banana this is HILARIOUS!!! Made me laugh a lot, thanks for sharing x

So today's been fun. I'm writing to you from the toilet of a train. Today is the 59th day of constant bleeding since my ERPC. I was out of the office with my full division of 60 people. And everything exploded. I felt the world exit from my vagina while I was presenting and had to cut it short and run. Thank God I grabbed my handbag. I spent 90 minutes on the toilet. It was a fucking bloodbath. I passed at least a dozen clots, for the size of golf balls. It must have been a pint ofif blood. Every time I got up it started again. I made it back to run to grab the test of my stuff, back to the toilet, cleaned up as best i could (it was up the fucking wall in one place) then left. Just made it to the station.

What the absolute fuck is going on. I really really really hope this is the last of the last of the bastard miscarriage that won't end. I'm officially discharged from the hospital as pregnancy tests register negative. But there must still be a load of crap in there waiting to come out.

When I'm home I'll phone the hospital. And reply to all the posts above properly. Just needed WTF rant moment.

potatoes fucking hell, are you Ok?? That sounds horrendous. Hope you got home ok and have spoken to the hospital. They clearly shouldn't have discharged you! Hope things settle down and you get this sorted properly. Hope your feeling better soon, you must have felt very queasy losing all that blood.

Potatoes you definately need an URGENT gynae review, that is totally ridiculous. I would ring and speak to your consultants secretary and explain all of this.

It's all so disjointed here. My ivf clinic handed me back to the nhs for the miscarriage. The EPU discharged me because preg tests were negative. I just phoned them. They said if have to go to A&E. I'm just finding a toilet at the station before I plan my next move!

Oh god Potatoes what a fucking shitter of a day for you! Argh I feel angry, bitter and a bit woozy on your behalf. Are you far from home? Xxx

Holy shit potatoes - get yourself to A&E. Jesus, can only imagine what you're going through. Hope they can get you sorted asap

Oh potatoes that is the pits. Please head for a&e - that is a lot of blood to lose. Sending all my best wishes to you xx

Jesus Christ potatoes really hope you're ok. You come across quite stoic but can imagine how horrendous and scary (and also really quite fucking annoying after 90 mins on the loo ) it must have been. Hope you're being looked after whether at home or A&E Thinking of you.

Hey all thank you for your support. I've been admitted overnight. Even the gynae who eventually made it down to A&E looked pretty shocked at the amount of blood (as she swabbed out my vagina painfully ). The lovely doctor I saw in A&E was basically furious at the EPU for discharging me... And bit I'm back on the EPU/gynae ward. Nil by mouth in case I need surgery, blood on standby in case I need a transfusion. My first ever overnight stay in hospital and I haven't got a bastard toothbrush.

Good luck to the stabbers. icy I second the advice about an ice cube.

In other news - what is up with all these celebrity deaths? Is it some kind of curse being realised? All there is to read on the internet is obituaries!!!!

Glad your in safe hands now potatoes
Don't like the thought of you being back on a gynae. They better get you fixed this this time. Hope your DH can bring you some toiletries for the morning. Will keep my FX that you're not in for long.
Hope you get some rest tonight. X
I too I am shocked at all these celeb deaths, so sad.

Jesus, Potatoes - are you OK? What's the situation this morning? I can't believe this just keeps on happening and that you keep getting fobbed off by people - I am furious for you. You must have been so scared. Cannot believe that it happened while you were presenting to our entire division - it's like something out of a nightmare. Is your DH with you? Sending enormous hugs (and a virtual toothbrush).

Potatoes make sure you're stern with those docs if they try and discharge you again! Sometimes they need a reality check and nurses usually don't have the time to fight your corner as well as they'd like to! Hope you get some answers today, and a toothbrush because no one wants horse breath

So they scanned me and.... I have retained products. My pregnancy test is negative so this is "confusing" for them (no fucking shit - for me too!). They didn't scan me when they discharged me because of the negative test. Lovely A&E doctor was furious about that.

I'm assuming I'm having another erpc today. But I haven't seen a doctor or had a diagnosis: is this a pregnancy, a miscarriage, is this my next period starting? If the mass of still in there then where did the blood and material I expelled come from, if I didn't get rid of the pregnancy tissue then what was that?

Anyway. Nuff about that. Keep on stabbing and gestating and reporting back. I need a future to focus on. Love the babybel incentive. I might start that with work!

Jesus potatoes I can't believe the EPU left you like that and didn't do a fucking scan. What the actual fuck? I can't believe they've put you through all of this. Absolutely raging, you have suffered so so much.

I think re: tissue and hCG it seems to vary. I guess maybe some tissue pumps out more and some less? We guess I have retained tissue even though nothing is showing up on the scan, because of the hCG - but it must be a really tiny bit of tissue that it's not in any way visible. But must be pumping out a fair bit of hCG for the levels to be as they are. So I guess the reverse may be true...?

I'm glad you're in for proper monitoring as the risk of infection is obv not to be fucked around with. We're all thinking of you and choppering in air drops of glittery dog shit. And care packages of Baby Bels. Obvs.

Potatoes, I am so sorry to hear your of your continuing nightmare. Sending you a Babybel wrapped in glittery dog shit.

Stories like yours (and all the ladies on here) bring out the most strident feminist in me, women are too often fobbed off for having "women's problems", when they are NOT minor and can be so serious left unmonitored and untreated. Grrr.

Potatoes did they do any tissue testing at the first ERPC to make sure it wasn't a mole or partial mole? Might be worth asking these doctors to check that out. Thinking of you and hoping they fucking sort it this time. Can't imagine how fed up / traumatised you must be.

Potatoes, that sounds horrific :(. Hope you're okay? Xx

Good morning,

I started a thread a few months ago about how fed up I was and some lovely people suggested I join here. I have not really felt strong enough but I am putting on my brave pants and hoping to offer and receive some support and guidance.

I am 33, 4 mc, last one 18 months ago. IVF to begin june cycle I think. Next appointment, 6 May. Funding in place. They said that appointment was a getting to know you with nurses. Treatment is to be at Royal ed, which is about an hour and a half away but nowhere local offers it.

I am mostly angry and sad. But have started to feel a little braver the last week or so. AF arrived this morning and made me rant and swear.

I will try and learn names but sometimes with work I miss some days. Doesn't mean I don't care.

Potato, I hope you are ok today. Your posts struck a chord with me. My first mc was simaler, at work, during a course. As if it's not hard enough without happening somewhere like that.

In other news the sun is still shining here, lambs are skipping in the fields and we had twin calfs this morning.

Sorry if I have missed anything and looking forward to getting to know you all.

Hello to all of you.
Wanted to check in on potatoes really hope you're on the mend and the cause of this gets fully investigated.
If you've had another ERPC, hope you're not too uncomfortable and maybe able to go home soon to rest up. Lots of lovely dog shite to you.
Hello fourpaw glad you found out about us lovely lot. Really sorry about all you've been through over the last few years. Cannot imagine how you must feel after multiple MCs.
All the best for your first appointment. Hopefully they'll let you start on your next cycle, the waiting around is one of the worst parts. Who knows we could be starting pretty close to each other. I am waiting to start in a few weeks. Time has literally stood still 😤

The weekends are so much more enjoyable when the weather is nice.

potatoes hope you are on the mend now. Life can be shit enough without it taking the piss aswell! Bucket fulls of babybels for you.
fourpaw* pleased to hear you were recommended to join us, we are all a lovely bunch of barrenstastics who'll listen to your rants and moans, no questions asked so come on in.. If there are any other lurkers out there who haven't yet plucked up the courage to say hi, please come and join us on the roller coaster that is infertility.
Happy Saturday to everyone else, day 6 of down reggin for me. No symptoms as of yet! So lucky me.icy how's you?

Thanks all. I'm home and being looked after.

Welcome four. I can't imagine doing this four times. Even picking myself up once and going for another ivf cycle is daunting. Glad you've got a plan in place. I hope we can offer you as much support as others have offered me here.

banana how are your hcg levels, are you still registering postive tests?

Good luck to everyone starting and progressing their treatment.

Oh so glad to hear from you potatoes have been thinking of you often. I really really really hope the gynae team have and are giving you the care you should have been given from the off

Hope this is finally where you get to turn a corner and leave this whole shitty episode behind you

And yep I think hysto+D&C is def still on for Weds. Had some leftover preggo sticks for the clearblue fertility monitor. PREGNANT in massive letters. Woop de doo

Hope everyone is having nice weekends x

Thank you all for the welcomes.

Potatoe glad you are being looked after. Take care of yourself.

Yes, you have all identified my biggest worry and the one I am silently screaming inside. IVF won't stop me having another mc. I guess emotionally this journey started because of the miscarriages. Now I'm eighteen months with nothing. So my first goal is to attempt IVF and see if I can get pregnant. Beyond that I have not even allowed myself to think. Scary thoughts.