Anyone else having IVF for second child after IVF for first?!?

[Bunnygirlie]

Hello!

We had IVF ICSI in January 2014 which resulted in our little boy born in October 2014. We started trying again when he's was 9 months hoping that nature would be on our side this time but after 3 months we decided to speak to the FC again to see if it was even worth bothering to try naturally. It wasn't and so we are to start IVF again very soon.

Looking for others going through the same thing if possible to be my buddy's

oh smiley I am so sorry to read this. What a horrible. horrible thing to go through. It is just so cruel to have all of that hope and then have it taken away.

I hope you have some time off work to try and deal with this. It can't be underestimated. Look after yourself and take time to grieve.

I understand how you feel about not knowing what to do next. I feel so scared about another cycle after two fails and two miscarriages. Before DD IVF was the hope and it worked and it is so hard to deal with it not working and maybe never working again.

We are in the midst of miscarriage investigations which has helped with a focus. Depending on results/treatment we will have a final fresh cycle Aug/Sept time I think. This is after the last loss in March. I feel myself slipping into the old sadness of infertility - the pregnancy announcements, the fear of them, the longing for a baby...

It's shit but we will get through it and are thankful for what we do have each day. I hope you are okay. Take care xx

I know I've taken it so much worse this time, last time I had bleeding and no symptoms so expected the worst to happen, but this time was so different I had morning sickness, sore boobs, not a spec of blood just the last thing I was expecting, i'm just so gutted. Yes I haven't been back at work yet, I had to go for another scan to 'confirm' and given what happened last time we decided it best to go with an ERPC straight away so I had that on Thursday. Glad it's not dragged on like last time but it all just seems to have happened so fast I think it's only just really hitting me.

I feel exactly the same with that Holly, that fear of it not happening again and all those old feelings flooding back, the bitterness of other women's announcements especially those having tried for all of 5 minutes, I completely get it, it's horrible to be here again. After it working first try with DS I took it for granted that more treatment would without a doubt work, the reality that there are no guarantees is so hard to take. I feel like I've come too far to give up or all this pain was for nothing and only the hope that we will get our happy ending is getting me through it but the thought of trying again petrifies me, I just don't know if I have the strength to have anymore losses.

That's good that they're investigating it, my hospital don't until 3 consecutive miscarriages, it's bizzare after we've carried the first, why won't the others stick! Have you got any answers yet?

I'm like you now, have to go back to fresh and that's getting me down, starting from scratch and so much more money, it's so unfair! We've decided to take a little break, i'm not sure how I'll cope with that, the need to try again asap is over whelming but I don't feel strong enough yet emotionally to take on the ivf rollercoaster again and we're getting married next summer abroad, which we hoped would be plenty of time to have a baby in when we booked it, which would have worked out if the last few rounds had been a success. To get straight back on it After the 3 periods could clash with wedding and I definitely don't want to cancel it as right now I just need something positive to focus on, something that can't end badly to Get me through and we set it a few years ahead to prioritise baby plans already. So we'll either wait until after the wedding if I can be that patient but right now seems a million years away, or we'll try a few months before either way I don't think a rest will do any harm on my body.

Thanks for the kind message Holly, hope your doing ok too, it feels so good to actually speak to someone who understands, take care xx

I hate it so much. I was shocked after our most recent miscarriage, even though I've had a missed miscarriage before. I think, like you, I'd had lots of good symptoms, no bad ones, and felt that ivf would work because it did before. I then felt stupid for being so shocked.

We're paying privately for investigations-i can tell you details if you want to look into it, when you're ready of course. I was also nhs referred I think partly because my GP is amazing and also because our embryo was chromosomally normal so they are checking other causes. The ivf clinic don't think we need it but for us it's about mental health too and that means checking things out before we do another fresh. Should start getting results in next few weeks. I'll let you know.

I think you're right to have a break and focus on your wedding. It will be at least 5 cycles for us since miscarriage and new cycle, maybe more depending on results of tests. I think the break has helped. On my positive days I think how hard it would be to have a baby and a toddler now and how much more independent my DD will be if it happens for us.

You'll know if you can do it again. You're stronger than you think. I feel we have another fresh in us and maybe one more frozen and that's it. Our clinic said they would only expect one live birth, max two, from any fresh cycle and a new fresh will be equivalent of a new monthly cycle so still a good chance. They seem positive which is helping my positivity (but they do get a lot of money from us!)

You're not alone. It's really, really cruel and hard but it has workedy before which means the chances of it working again are much higher. Look after yourself xx

I would feel exactly the same Holly, going through the testing how could you not think it would work when it's a perfect embryo! I just don't understand it at all! I would do the same, mental health is really important when going through this journey. I know I can't give up and I have another fresh cycle in me but I know I need some time to grieve and heal, it can't hurt it's just the wait but I know it's for the best. Those details for investigations would be very helpful thank you.

That's one thing that's getting to me the most every time this doesn't work my ds gets older, all he wants is a sibling and i'm worried he'll be too old for them to have a close bond. He was 2 when we started trying, naively thinking ivf would trigger something and we'll conceive naturally he was 4 when we started treatment again and when we come to do it again he'll be 6 😢. But I suppose as long as it happens in the end that's all that matters.

It's good that the clinic are being positive it definitely helps and your chances are good. My clinic are positive it will work, they can't say the chances of another loss but they said it's happened before so it's very positive. Keeping all my fingers crossed for some positive results for you from your tests and hopefully you don't have long to wait. Xx

I hope you're doing okay Smiley. Time to grieve is really important. Soon you'll feel ready for a new plan of action. It helps me to plan next steps and this time it's helped me to put a limit on it all-this will be our last fresh cycle (don't know about frozen yet). I'll PM you details of tests etc so you have the info when you're ready.

Your DS will be an amazing brother, whatever the age difference. My friend has 7 years between her two and the older one is so caring toward his brother and such a help too. They will have a close bond and less likely to fight too :)

We've got some results and a treatment plan. We hope to start again end July-long protocol so egg collection sept time. It feels ages away but I'm also quite scared about starting again knowing this will be the last one. Overall I'm happier doing something or nothing though and I'm sure I'll feel better once we get going.

I haven't been on for ages - the twins were ten weeks prem so were in scbu for five weeks but luckily they seem fine. They've been home for five weeks now. Pic attached.
I really really wish everyone well on this thread and send lots of love and baby dust to you all. Xxx