Twelve year old rioter Mum gone to ibiza rather than court

[Daltonbear1]

https://inews.co.uk/news/boy-no-sentence-riots-southport-mum-ibiza-3256439

Like who does that they know that their son is going to court but Decides, it's a good time to go and go party at Ibiza. Like what the hell? The judge seems to be very shocked That a parent would do that. So now they have to witholdthe sentencing for when she gets back
You see, I think when you have a twelve-year-old doing what they Ve just done. It's the parents that really need to be sentenced as well. Because potentially, that would stop the children because the parents would actually start discipline the kids. But it just shows that some of these children really. Have such a c* start to life. How are they meant to be in a society that needs people to behave

Yes I judged pretty hard not gonna lie but as ever - where's dad?

We don't know where the boy's father is. The judge probably has more knowledge on that. The boy is currently on bail, presumably to the care of his mother. That's why she should be with her son. Frankly I think he'd be better cared for by social services. I'm assuming he's probably going to end up in secure accommodation when he is sentenced. All his mother's absence has done is to delay that happening. Thank fully the uncle seems to have some sense of responsibility. I would jail the mother for failing to do her duty of caring for her son while he was in her care under his bail terms. That's pretty contemptuous of the legal process in my book.

The boy was bailed into the care of his mother. If she wasn't going to stick around to do that she should have told the court to remand him into social service care. As soon as she took him home from the previous court appearance she made herself responsible for taking care of him until sentencing.

This is shocking, should also be the same for the Dad. A case of diabolical parenting so the children copy and are out of control.

A lot of theories on this thread about whereabouts of the father. If he's dead then he can't be caring for his son. If he's in prison he can't right now attend court. The fact is that the boy was bailed into the care of his mother only. She should be taking that undertaking seriously.

This is true, the same cycle, people who can't look after themselves having babies. There is indeed an underclass which police, nhs and teachers try to help and some do get out. Things have changed and these problems have more awareness now but IME many can't and don't want to change,a battle to keep on fighting for the future generation. Xx

Agree, it was an opportunity to show some mistaken bravado in a pack culture gang. Most of these 'rioters' on their own when questioned know they've been stupid, I hope, and have to pay the consequences. Lord of the rings...

You can blame the parents, but they had the same from their parents, most likely. This little rioter will probably have a kid in the dock in 15 years time.

I can never understand this, surely if you'd had such a rotten upbringing you'd want better for your own DC.

Can't have been that bad a childhood if a parent is following the ways of their own parent.

I doubt they think about it from the kids' pov. To them, kids are just autopilot outcomes of (unprotected) sex. If they can get some benefits through them, even better. It's probably the only time they think about the kids. Once they've fulfilled that role, the kids are on their own.

Any mother that can leave their 12 year old like that should not be a mother imo. Irrelevant of what he has done he must be daunted and afraid. His mother should be investigated for neglect and it’s obviously the parenting that has caused some of his behaviour.

, if his dad is in prison for a long time due to violance , which it sounds like he is then to say he needs a mother and a father would be a bit callous. For all we know he could be in prison for violence against the mother or the son or both

We don't know the family history, the magistrates do , there may be reasons why the dad isn't being mentioned because the boy may be a victim of his violence

Also just because nothing has been reported doesn't mean the judge hasn't said anything about the father

If he was in court for sentencing its likely he has already been in front of the magistrates to enter pleas so family history could have been spoken about then

At the end of the day he is a minor and his legal guardian should have gone to court with him and there might be very good reasons why they aren't mentioning the father

It’s all they know.
A neglected childhood- likely domestic violence-“Problem families “going back generations.

We tend to be the kind of parent that we ourselves experienced as a child.

So fecklessness, a parent caring more about the latest partner than the kids, substance abuse, involvement with crime- It’s all they know and feel familiar with.
Rinse and repeat.

If part of the bail conditions were the boy was to be released into his mother's care until next court appearance, and the mother agreed to this, I wonder why she hasn't been arrested in Ibiza for breach of bail conditions.

The cost , as he's a minor they could hold her in breach of his bail conditions but it sounds like the judge has just differed sentencing until she gets back and wants to listen to her reasoning

🎯Nailed it.

Not a fluffy view , but an accurate one.

I'm not sure it's a just about benefits, there has been a 2 children cap for years now and it hasnt stopped people on benefits having more children . It goes much deeper than money

I don't know, I don't have all the answers. It does seem like maybe if we took the money we spend on police and locking people up and spent that trying to help people, it might be better. I'm sure you'd have all the objections about how other people work hard and don't get in trouble etc.

Basically the criminal justice system works on deterrence and where the deterrent doesn't work, you just get endless suffering. Of criminals, their victims and their families. People whose lives are chaotic and awful and it's a statistical anomaly if they don't get into crime.

There were attempts I heard about trying to get family courts to link up with police, social services etc and actually get parents in care proceedings meaningful help with housing, finance, addictions etc. Often when kids are taken into care the parents just have more.

I'm sure the Daily Fail would say I'm a bleeding heart liberal. I have a family member who works in the justice system with kids like this. The things some kids grow up with are unreal. Knowing your mum is a prostitute, growing up around drug addicts and violence etc. even just coming from a family where for generations, no one has had a decent job or completed school. Growing up in stress and chaos has lifelong effects.

Some people do grow up determined to do better, and manage it. Some people are just nasty.

A lot of people grew up in chaos, never developed the executive control skills you need in life so fly off the handle easily and make bad decisions in the heat of the moment.

Honestly, sit in the public gallery of a court for the day. The clerk will tell you where the interesting cases for that day are being held. I imagine in some cases, generations of judges from the same family have sent generations of criminals from the same family to prison.

I find this behaviour bizarre and just wrong......although I do not think the child's only guardian should have went on hols when her 12:yr son was due in court for a serious charge...really who does this!?! I like to try and put myself in the the other person's mindset even if it's so obviously wrong...did the mum save for years for this holiday? Was it hard for her to get/change A/L for a holiday already booked. Would she have lost lots of money if cancelled holiday? Did she realise how serious it was? Was she in some sort of denial? Has she learning disabilities/mental illness. Is she neurodivergent so she doesn't look at situations in a way others would. Who knows really

A lot of people grew up in chaos, never developed the executive control skills you need in life so fly off the handle easily and make bad decisions in the heat of the moment.
Throwing rocks at somebody doing their job is not a result of "poor executive fumction" or living in chaos.A 12 year old knows that this cam seriously injure or kill someone.He doesn't need help and warm fuzzy feelings, he needs punishment

I sat on a jury earlier this year, domestic assault. Both people were 16/17 when it happened. She had been in and out of care, he was from a “chaotic” background. Neither had jobs, no education, he was already in prison for drugs offences (she let this slip while giving evidence), no family members or friends there to support them in court, and the girl involved spoke of their daughter who was also in care. And so the cycle continues.

I’ve NC’d for this but I have a family member who did exactly the same when her son was in court. He was 17 and ended up with 6 years in prison. She was on holiday. She thinks the rest of the family have judged her as a bad mother. She isn’t wrong and we now have nothing to do with her.

It would be wonderful if something that really worked could be done to reduce this depressing cycle of deprivation- of feckless neglect.

You are right- children are removed, yet the mother just has another- which is removed- and so it goes on.

Sometimes the children are born with fetal alcohol syndrome or addicted physically to opioids.

A thread on mumsnet, in ''classics'' was by a wonderful foster mother who used to take on tiny babies with physical addictions- the babies still would have experienced distress, despite the loving nurturing of the Foster mum.

EMIN was the mumsnetter's name. ''EarthMotherImNot''

She truly was wonderful and inspired others to become foster parents.

What I'm saying is the punishment obviously doesn't work, some families have deep rooted problems stretching back centuries.

Poor executive control isn't warm and fuzzy, it's a scientific fact. It's the bit of the brain that says 'hokd on, what are the consequences of doing this, should I do it just because others are'.

I'm not saying we shouldn't hold people responsible for their actions, I'm saying we shouldn't expect anything different if we never do anything differently.

God that is just all so sad especially when she says he has seen a lot of violence in his life.

My 12 year old still has her 3 favourite teddies up beside her on the bed at night and she would be petrified in the middle of a riot or even if she was out on her own in the dark. It's hard to imagine a child of 12 so out of control that they go missing for a week.

Sending him to prison is just going to start a revolving door for him really. It's a shame they can't come up with another system that rehabilitates. He's so violent now, it would be safer and cheaper for society to try and help him get his life on a better track.