This Morning - No mention of Little Arthur

[smileanddance]

The horrendous case of Arthur is at the forefront of all our minds this week, and all other live TV shows seem to be discussing the case, however Phil and Holly have not so much as uttered a word about him this week. They are so smiley and happy and I just find it really disrespectful and surprising that they haven't even acknowledged him. AIBU??

I'm unsure of what you mean when you say competitive grieving? Why would anyone want to compete about that?
I don't use MN that much so don't know what threads you are referring to.
I wouldn't say I feel like I'm grieving at all. I would just say I have an overwhelming feeling of hopelessnesses more than anything.

I don't understand why they haven't invited charity workers on to these shows educate the general public more and to raise funds.

Whenever the soaps portray a difficult storyline they always share support information at the end of the show and usually discuss it on the likes of This Morning/Lorraine/Loose Women. How is this any different? In actual fact this is worse as it's real life.

@MurielSpriggs

It really is not at the forefront of everyone's minds, and it doesn't warrant some sort of blanket media coverage, which helps absolutely no one. These things are essentially private tragedies.

Absolutely this! I am certainly not in tatters.- Nor is anyone I know. Terrible things happen all the timel

Whilst This Morning is, undoubtedly, the Facebook mum’s group of the nation, I don’t think that this horrible crime has any place being discussed there (any more than it does on an actual Facebook mum’s group).

Leave them to gravy recipes for Christmas dinner and how to make a table centrepiece out of oranges and serious news-based debate to Newsnight.

Even worse than Little Arthur, one of the other threads refers to Poor Arthur. Imagine that. I was going to say something about it but the posters had worked themselves up into such a froth it didn't seem worth it.

Dear God
You're now comparing this to a soap opera storyline
FFS

I have deliberately not watched news items about Arthur. Haven't read much in the papers other than the main headlines. It's just so awful.

Light entertainment shows are absolutely right to not mention this. It would be hugely disrespectful to cover such an awful subject then move on to something really light and fluffy.

The reality is until we can fund social services properly it won't be the last tragic outcome.

As if I am comparing it!! You must be very thick if you cannot figure out what I mean by that paragraph! Stop being such a bully!

I'm unsure of what you mean when you say competitive grieving?

"I'm the most sad because I need support from Holly and Phil"

"No I'm the most sad so I am going to start a post complaining that I'm not getting the support I require for the death of a child I didn't know"

That type of thing. It happens after every tragedy. Grief tourism.

@MurielSpriggs

It really is not at the forefront of everyone's minds, and it doesn't warrant some sort of blanket media coverage, which helps absolutely no one. These things are essentially private tragedies.

I’m glad you say this. I’ve hardly heard it discussed in real life. It’s horrible and sad and changes should be made re: social services funding and policy, but the whole nation hasn’t collapsed about this. My husband hadn’t even heard about it until I mentioned it, three days after the perpetrators were sentenced.

No I'm not thick or a bully

Whenever the soaps portray a difficult storyline they always share support information at the end of the show and usually discuss it on the likes of This Morning/Lorraine/Loose Women. How is this any different? In actual fact this is worse as it's real life. Jesus.

You do know that soaps aren’t real don’t you? And that this was someone’s actual life?

Fuck me I’ve seen it all now.

I don't understand why they haven't invited charity workers on to these shows educate the general public more and to raise funds.
Which charities? Educate on what, exactly? Raise funds to do what?

@Hobnobswantshernameback

Dear god is there no end to the grief wanking.

Clearly not.

As another thread has noted brilliantly, the obsessive and tasteless navel gazing going on is from the same people who wouldn't have wanted their own children playing with "the likes of" Arthur Labinjo-Hughes and would probably have complained to the school were their own made to sit next to him.

@smileanddance

As if I am comparing it!! You must be very thick if you cannot figure out what I mean by that paragraph! Stop being such a bully!

A few posts ago you were playing the victim and crying about your mental health and now you're attacking others.

It might help you to just turn the Virgin off for a few weeks.

I don't understand why they haven't invited charity workers on to these shows educate the general public more and to raise funds.

You think child protection services should be funded by charity?

Here's a suggestion, OP.
Instead of watching shit telly, go out and protest about cuts to child services, or the NHS, or education. Protest against a government that was so busy feathering its own nest that it kind of thought Covid would swerve past the UK. So it brought in restrictions too late. One of which was a lockdown that could have been avoided. A lockdown which allowed people to do unspeakable things behind closed doors that nobody found out about. Campaign against FGM, campaign against child marriages. Speak out, not when the old bloke who lives across the road tickles your baby's face and you think that makes him a "paedo" but when you notice one of your own kid's relatives is touching then inappropriately.
Use your energy properly instead of wanging on that you're the most affected of all by this. You aren't.

@PAFMO it gets worse. There’s a thread where a poster is talking about how they’d have advocated for the capital punishment of James Bulger’s ten year olds killers back when they were convicted. They’re one step away from suggesting how nice it would have been to see if as a public event, with some jousting and cock-fighting, Tudor-style.

I'm finding the quantity of threads on here about it rather odd. What happened was appalling but what is the endless discussion achieving?

I think the obvious difference in this case, which marks it out from all the other horrendous abuse cases where the children have been murdered, is that the events leading up to it have been so extensively recorded with video, phone and audio clips, some of which have been made public, for better or worse.

As far as I am aware, warnings were given about the distressing nature of the content broadcast in the CCTV footage, at least, and I didn't watch it, because on a personal level, it just felt wrong to me to be observing it. I don’t know if the same warning applied to them, but I heard the 2 audio clips at some point, which made me cry. I certainly wouldn’t wish them to keep being broadcast. They may have served as shock tactics to drum it home that this awful thing actually happened, but to keep repeating them wouldn’t seem right.

I think people are finding it hard to process the real-life horror of this murder which has been so graphically and almost unprecedentedly documented, and are looking for assistance from the feeling that they are part of a communal distress, which seems like a perfectly natural reaction to me.

@CorrBlimeyGG

I don't understand why they haven't invited charity workers on to these shows educate the general public more and to raise funds.

You think child protection services should be funded by charity?

As long as it’s making my taxes rise I don’t care who funds it! 😳

It was covered today on Politics live. Thats the important thing. That legislation is put in place and stricter guidelines and consequences for not following them. Not a lot of handwringing on a chat show.

@Hobnobswantshernameback

Dear god Have we become this infantilised. I give up

Can I just say 'I love you', @Hobnobswantshernameback?!

Sick and tired of this need to salivate over the terrible circumstances of a perfect stranger and their family.

@smileanddance TV doesn't owe anyone support. You need to take responsibility for it yourself. If it's upsetting you so much that you want support, then stop watching it.

As for education about the matters, perhaps stop watching the tosh that is daytime TV and start reading a decent newspaper?

It's really sad that it happened, but I don't understand why it's being discussed everywhere. My DP was watching football last night and they all had a moment to 'remember' him and had his picture displayed. In my opinion it's disrespectful to those that actually knew him and are trying to deal with what happened. Not to mention the thousands of other children this happened to and they are nothing but a single headline or two.

I think some posters are being too harsh with their comments about "grief wanking", "competitive grieving", "grief vultures" etc. I suppose I am one of the people you're referring to because I have been very upset and I have mentioned on these posts that I've been crying and it's affected my sleep. I am certainly not trying to make it all about ME -far from it, it's 100% about Arthur and all the other children that are still being abused. I'm not raking over news stories - I do everything I can to avoid them. I'm not trying to show what a wonderful person I am because I was very upset. It's not kind to refer to people who are struggling with these stories as some kind of exhibitionists. I have only mentioned how upsetting I find it because it's help to get your feelings down in writing. I have spent a lot of time in tears and I have had my sleep disturbed. Therefore, when something preys on my mind I find it helps to express it and I can do so here on this anonymous forum. I WISH I didn't have this reaction to the news but do. Other people post on Mumsnet saying they're in tears over mundane things and that's fine. If some people are very disturbed by this story why can't they express it in a post without people calling them names, saying they're putting it on for show or are trying to prove how compassionate they are. We're all different. Some people are haunted by things they read. Other people are more easily able to move on from things. I don't judge them or think they're heartless. of course they're not. They're just wired differently. I envy them.

@HunkyPunk

I'm finding the quantity of threads on here about it rather odd. What happened was appalling but what is the endless discussion achieving?

I think the obvious difference in this case, which marks it out from all the other horrendous abuse cases where the children have been murdered, is that the events leading up to it have been so extensively recorded with video, phone and audio clips, some of which have been made public, for better or worse.

As far as I am aware, warnings were given about the distressing nature of the content broadcast in the CCTV footage, at least, and I didn't watch it, because on a personal level, it just felt wrong to me to be observing it. I don’t know if the same warning applied to them, but I heard the 2 audio clips at some point, which made me cry. I certainly wouldn’t wish them to keep being broadcast. They may have served as shock tactics to drum it home that this awful thing actually happened, but to keep repeating them wouldn’t seem right.

I think people are finding it hard to process the real-life horror of this murder which has been so graphically and almost unprecedentedly documented, and are looking for assistance from the feeling that they are part of a communal distress, which seems like a perfectly natural reaction to me.

@HunkyPunk Spot on. Thank you for putting it so concisely.

@SelfIdentifiedRightsHoarder

It's really sad that it happened, but I don't understand why it's being discussed everywhere. My DP was watching football last night and they all had a moment to 'remember' him and had his picture displayed. In my opinion it's disrespectful to those that actually knew him and are trying to deal with what happened. Not to mention the thousands of other children this happened to and they are nothing but a single headline or two.

Totally agree.